Do You Think Getting My Ex-Girlfriend Back Is Possible?

Sour milk does not go fresh. Time to move on.

This worries me going into high finance with a girlfriend I love a lot. I want to move up places and I know working long hours will be a big part of it, but I don't want her to be neglected and loss the passion for me. Sorry to highjack OP but is there anyway to balance doing 80 hours a week and keeping the relationship strong?

No

Oh baby yooou. You got what I neeeed. But you say I'm just a friend. But you say I'm just a friend.

OP-Spend whatever time you are going to spend chasing your ex on bettering yourself(exercise, reading, new hobbies, etc). You will make yourself more attractive to not only her, but to other women as well. If you chase her, she will just see you as desperate.

This site...

It seems like she left you over your career, which should not give you any confidence that she will be there for you when the going gets really tough (kids, lost job, family issues or 1,000 other things). She left you once over something that means a lot to you (I assume), what is to stop her from leaving you again? This woman does not control you, she does not define you. I view her kissing you as taking advantage of you being “weak”, or her perception of weakness. Lock that shit down. My advice to you is to ask her politely to stop kissing you and that you need time evaluate a friendship. Since you have mutual friends and need to deal with this in the office, it’s important to remain cordial in the office, smile but keep your distance. Healing takes time and going back seems like the easiest thing to mend what you’re feeling but DON’T DO IT. Stay close with your friends, spend time exploring your hobbies (or develop new ones), kickass at work.

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My girlfriend and I split up around the start of the year because she felt that there wasn't any passion left in the relationship after being together for the last 4 years. She said that she loved me, but wasn't in love with me anymore. We agreed to remain friends, since we both work in the same building and had a bunch of mutual friends. I have to admit, it hasn't been easy to show up to work and pretend that nothing happened, If that wasn't enough, I usually even end up bumping into her several times a day as she smiles at me, and gives me a peck on my cheek casually like the break up didn't happen.

And I'm gonna be real honest with you: letting her hug or kiss you on the cheek is emasculating bullshit. Stop letting her emasculate you. Have some self-respect. If she sees you and tries to embrace you, you tell her no and walk away. No more texting, no more contact, no hanging out with mutual friends. If she wants to know why, you tell her you're not interested in being friends with her. Probably the idea of doing this will trigger your internal resistance, like "Oh no, if I'm MEAN to her and I don't let her EMASCULATE me, I'll have no chance at getting her back!!". But this has nothing to do with winning her back. It's about being a man again. Once you deal with the pain, you won't want her back and you sure as fuck won't want to be her friend.

The S is for "Separate entirely"

if she comes back its because she couldn't find someone better and is settling for you.

Don't let it happen to you just use it as a lesson for your next girlfriend

I would bet my bonus she’s getting railed by some dude in her office and doesnt want to create an awkward situation with you and the guy. Cut her off completely.

Tough call. If she says the passion is gone then it may not be due to hours. Maybe it's something else? People usually don't give you the real reason for a break up which are innumerable and not worth thinking about.

I would move on and date multiple girls (remind yourself of the abundance of beautiful women out there). You will soon forget about her after being on a date with a hotter girl.

Then in 2-3 weeks, if still interested, reach out and try to reignite the spark with a date. If that doesn't work then nothing you can do.

Be strong, kindness is not rewarded in the dating world - rather aggression and ruthlessness. Trust me. Make it a point to show her you don't care and have better options. She is the one missing out, not you.

Just sent you a PM...

Didn't read a word you typed other than the title. The easiest way of "winning" an ex back is by not contacting her, deleting her from social media, and moving on. Usually they come crawling back, but by that time you will have hopefully moved on and she will be irrelevant to you.

Fall in love with some 65 pound dumbbells and don't look back. You'll thank yourself a few years down the line

Two words: “Sack up”

Shes bored with you and ready for the next toy. Fuck her (not literally since at this point it would be non-consensual).

I worked with a guy that had been married for 25 years and his wife left him for a high school sweetheart. They had three kids together and the guy was almost on suicide watch when it went down. Do you know what happened when he stopped sulking and starting playing the field again? He recovered and life went on.

Girls move on a lot faster than a guy, if she cut it off, it means she hasn't been feeling it for a while, like possibly 6 months or more. Move on, if she does come back, she'll never be truly yours again, time to cut your losses and find a better girl you are more passionate about.

Also, at 4 years together, she probably wanted to get married, and not popping the questions probably made her think you weren't serious about her.

I would recommend just moving on, you're obviously date-able if a girl stuck with you for 4 years, take some time, focus on yourself, and find a girl you do want to commit to.

Others have made great points so I won't reiterate what they already said.

But the more you focus on work and self improvement FOR YOURSELF, the better off you'll be. Don't hit the gym to get jacked and attract her. Don't gun for that promotion to impress her. She won't care (no offense, but it is what it is). Hit the gym to be a better version of yourself. Get that promotion because it's what YOU want. Kaizen bro. You'll be alright.

If you guys have dated for 4 years and she says that she's lost all the passion either: a) She's very immature to the fact that people naturally lose passion for someone they've been dating for a while but the companionship aspect of the relationship increases or b) She's just saying that as an excuse to break up with you without doing everyone a favor by saying she doesn't care anymore.

This may be hard for you to do and I've been in your shoes before but you are going to have to move on. This may be harder if you don't have other things in your life to lean on (friends, fulfilling job, consistent hobbies, etc.) but its something that you have to do sooner or later. The few things that I would say that you need to do if you feel down is to stay away from heavy drinking, be more social with your friends, and if you really feel awful, completely change scenery.

Perhaps I should be more sympathetic as a fellow female, but honestly I find it weak that "not spending enough time together" is the reason why she no longer feels the passion. It should have been expected that your first few years as a young professional in finance will be very demanding. And if she can't support you through that, I don't see how she'll stick with you through other difficulties. Maybe she's not a ride or die type of girl or maybe she just wasn't as invested as you were. Or like sometimes it just didn't work out.

I agree with the others - time to move on. If anything, she needs to be the one to re-initiate for it to work again. Otherwise, you're just chasing after what the relationship once was - it's impossible to go back in time.

If you're looking for a lasting relationship, get a dog.

Always moving forward...dust off and move on, my friend.