If he introduced himself by his first name, use that. If not, call him Mr._______ in the first email, then if he responds with his first name as his signature call him by that from now on.

Commercial Real Estate Developer
 
undefined:

If he introduced himself by his first name, use that. If not, call him Mr._______ in the first email, then if he responds with his first name as his signature call him by that from now on.

I did this exact thing while recruiting as a student. After I'd received an offer, I asked the senior bankers what they thought and they said it was fine just like that. I always figured you wouldn't step on anyone's toes by calling them Mr. _____ once; if you used a first name incorrectly or too informally that could be a detriment.
Maximum effort.
 

First name. I always addressed bankers by their last name when I was in school, but now that I'm working, I think it's just weird. Look at it this way: you are both adults, so why would you call another adult by their last name, unless you were both part of some group, like the Army? If the person does not respond just because you addressed them by their first name, they probably would not have responded or been helpful anyway.

 
Best Response

My inclination is first name unless he's over the age of 70 (maybe 65). Personally I think it's weird when people call me Mr. Dingdong08.My dad, who's in his late 60's, even says "I'm Dick, Mr. Dingdong06 was my dad." But I just saw monty09s post and that makes sense about the South. We bought a company located in the deep South and the COO, who was >50 (and was at least 15 years older than me at the time) a really experienced exec and a real Southern gentlemen, would address me by Mr. until I told him at least a dozen times to please just use my first name.

But OP if you already met the guy and he didn't have a Southern accent, go by first name. In the northeast, west coast or Chicago go by first name unless you're 15. I know I'm older but the only time I'll use Mr. or Ms. is in an email if I don't know their first name or if I'm emailing people from South and East Asia and can't tell if the name is male or female.

 
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But do you use Mr. or Ms. when you can't tell if its a man or woman?

In seriousness, I think that you are more likely (although it certainly doesn't sound common from this forum) to offend someone for calling them by their first name, than to offend them for calling them Mr./Mrs.

I call them Caitlyn. (too soon? insensitive???)

It's safer to use Mr/Ms. but college is the only time when that's a question. Under 18, go for Mr/Ms. even though I tell kids to call me by my first name. Once you graduate I think it's odd to use Mr./Ms. (but there's the Southern exception I suppose). College age is the only question and to me, I'm more than fine with first name, but you're probably right that it's safer to use a prefix.

Although because I kinda don't like medical doctors I like to call them Mr. just to piss them off. Especially if they're surgeons.

 

This is a good question, and one I've wondered about myself.

I'd say go with the first name. It just makes things seem more friendly, and as long as your message is good (and you don't come off as rude/entitled/ect.), you'll be fine.

 

It's not a good question, it's a neurotic one. If this guy addressed you by your first name, then signed his email with HIS first name, you can address him by his first name. Done. Hell, at all the MBBs people address senior partners by their first names - this isn't 1950, and it's not rude.

One of those lights, slightly brighter than the rest, will be my wingtip passing over.
 
2x2Matrix:

It's not a good question, it's a neurotic one. If this guy addressed you by your first name, then signed his email with HIS first name, you can address him by his first name. Done. Hell, at all the MBBs people address senior partners by their first names - this isn't 1950, and it's not rude.

This is a good question, so get off your high horse. Most people have been raised all their lives being told to use the last name when addressing their elders. It's natural to wonder whether it is appropriate to use the first name of someone who is not yet your colleague, or whether you are crossing a line.

I would recommend reading Emily Post's "The Etiquette Advantage in Business." It deals with all sorts of these issues.

 
FundofFun:
2x2Matrix:

It's not a good question, it's a neurotic one. If this guy addressed you by your first name, then signed his email with HIS first name, you can address him by his first name. Done. Hell, at all the MBBs people address senior partners by their first names - this isn't 1950, and it's not rude.

This is a good question, so get off your high horse. Most people have been raised all their lives being told to use the last name when addressing their elders. It's natural to wonder whether it is appropriate to use the first name of someone who is not yet your colleague, or whether you are crossing a line.

I would recommend reading Emily Post's "The Etiquette Advantage in Business." It deals with all sorts of these issues.

I'm on my high horse because if someone were to shake your hand and say, "Hi, I'm Jamie", that means that you should call him Jamie and not tie yourself in a know overthinking it. If he were to say "Hi, I'm Jamie Dimon," maybe but I still don't think so. When I do campus recruiting, I'm very informal, so I think it's offputting when people send me follow-up emails addressed to "Mister _____." It's a form of verbal genuflection that doesn't make you look proper or grown-up; if anything, it makes you look even younger.

For better or for worse, Emily Post has been dead for 50 years, and it's a first-name world now. I've called coaches, professors, and senior people at work almost exclusively by their first names since I graduated from high school, and I don't think I'm unusual in that regard. That's the social norm now, so I'd argue that it's safer to adhere to that norm rather than be unnecessarily formal because it's what your grandfather did back when everyone wore a hat to the office.

One of those lights, slightly brighter than the rest, will be my wingtip passing over.
 

If he was a junior employee then you should always go first name anyway. Since he is senior, I think you can go either way. If you were cold emailing him it may be better to be more polite and use last name but if he reached out to you the ice is already broken and you can just use first name.

Don't try to overthink it though, go with what you are most comfortable with. In the end, there are far more important things to think/worry about in the job search process than this.

 

When potential recruits address me as Mr. [Last name], even after I've signed off with my first name, it makes me feel old, and somewhat uncomfortable. Afterall, no one in my company, or anyone I hang out with, calls me Mr. [Last name]. I'd say go with first name.

 

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