End of the Summer - Peace at last

at the risk of pissing everyone off on this forum, here goes a diatribe (or a WSO suicide note, you decide).

for the kids out there who get offended by everything, ask yourself this: if you won't say something to someone's face about it, why are you putting it online? example: there was a thread here a ways back where an indian dude asked if a waiter's comment "where are you from?" was harmless or if it was a "racial microaggression." I had to look up microaggression because based on my upbringing, my ancestors fought to prevent being called a n@#ger in public and being able to use the same bathrooms. gay people fought to be able to have all the highs and lows of marriage as heterosexual people, and so on. this is the kinda shit that makes my blood boil, some dude gets upset for someone asking a question about his ethnicity, genuinely curious about his past, yet the guy assumes the person asking is just a racist looking to judge them. get the fuck over yourself, I've been asked "what are you?" more times than I can count, it's a conversation starter (albeit poorly worded), not a nazi slogan. and by the way, if you want to report my comment as abusive or sensitive for spelling out the "n word," saying "dude" instead of "cis male" or whatever it's being called today, go right ahead. just know that when my grandma was trying to vote, there wasn't a "report violation" button, she had to wait for jim crow to let her vote. grow thicker skin.

yes, you should fight for equality, you should fight for constitutional rights, but you should also realize that life isn't fair, no one thinks you're special, few people care about your feelings, and you need to stand up for yourself. go out in society, purposely put yourself in situations where it's diverse, and in situations where it's not diverse. ask yourself: are we really that divided as a whole? there will be pockets of hatred but I can't help but think that the big issue here is people have a quick outlet in social media, and it blows things way out of proportion. the government protects hate speech, by the way, and while there's a landmark supreme court case against incitement (which is the reason that many KKK/Nazi rallies get denied permits), that doesn't mean you're guaranteed to be insulated from ideologies that offend you.

as for the people who call PC folks pussies, wimps, and so on, you're not helping. some of the OP's comments reek of insecurities about his own masculinity, and while it's your right to think what you want to think, it doesn't help your case simply by making fun of the "other side." this is a gigantic issue today, and it usually manifests itself in my fellow right leaning compadres. if you have a strong argument, argue its merits, don't simply spew hyperbole and say it's the logic your opposition is using, and therefore they're wrong. this whole charlottesville thing is a great example. people on the right are essentially putting words in the mouths of the status protestors, saying they'll protest to have the egyptian pyramids destroyed, the white house destroyed, and other national monuments. if your argument is strong enough to stand on its own, fucking prove it, don't just make feigned attempts at tearing down the other side's argument.

the tampon thing I'll give you, that kid was being too sensitive, and instead of approaching the situation assertively and asking the person "hey, did you give me a fucking tampon because I'm gay? go fuck yourself." no, instead he was a tattle tale, fuck that, stand up for yourself. I remember plenty of incidents as a kid (usually on sports teams) where someone may start to make comments, saying I looked mexican, or they can't see me during night games. most of the time I'd shake it off, but if it got to me I'd bark back or push back. the world is a cruel place not designed to protect you, you need to learn to protect yourself, and people will stop fucking with you if you make it clear you're not to be fucked with. at the same time, you can still be compassionate and accepting of others, they're not mutually exclusive.

the moisturizer thing and the girl making those dudes cry? congrats, you're both bullies fighting an unfair fight. you want to have a good laugh? make fun of someone whose employment decisions aren't impacted directly by your assessment of them. from the interns' point of view, it's a lose lose. they try to be too much of a bro, you think they're too cheeky and not dedicated. they act meek & polite? you accuse them of being spineless pussies not worthy of sharing office space with you. get real. remember how nervous you were for your first interviews? have a little heart, and don't be such a doucebag to people who are trying hard, even if they're tryhards.

in summary, because this is a professional forum, what I'll say is this. if you're looking to manage and lead people, find out what motivates them, don't just assume they're weak because they're different from you and came from a different generation. people are the same year in and year out, it just may manifest a little different from time to time. if you're looking to make a name for yourself in this world and are early in career, the world is full of douchebags, you can't change it so don't waste your time complaining about it. unless someone's threatening you with violence and/or hurting your work product with the environment they've created, just stand up for yourself and realize most bad situations are temporary. learn to be assertive, but not aggressive. no one wants someone to come into an internship acting like he's a BSD, but people also don't want a child they have to take care of. be independent, be self reliant, don't take shit from anyone (unless that person signs your bonus check, in which case grab your ankles, it'll be over soon), and don't be a tattle tale.

I guess if I had to summarize in a TLDR, I'd pick these 2 things: seek first to understand, then to be understood (stolen from Covey's 7 habits), and speak softly, but carry a big stick (Teddy Roosevelt)