essentials of a "fuck you" apartment

littleDidHeKnow's picture
Rank: Baboon | 144

hey chaps,

so i am getting a new apartment in London and it is a pretty slick place. However i wanted to make it even more "fuck you" by adding an inflatable or non inflatable jacuzzi in the terrace. so that during the summer months i can take along the raunchy chicks i pick up from scotch of st james for a wet afterparty.

wondered if you guys came across any specific good models for this.

also what are your top items / suggestions for "fuck you" apartment statements? Apart from a ridiculous sound system or "fuck you" art.

cheers

Region: 
United Kingdom

Comments (69)

Funniest
Apr 4, 2020

Taxidermied mountain lion

    • 26
Apr 4, 2020

one of these guys https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.whathifi.com/amp/...

can get one at Harrods

Apr 4, 2020

Skateboards made from luxury fashion companies that have no business making skateboards. Like, Ciate, Louboutin, or Stella McCartney. That way, people will know you have a nice mix of street and fashion culture in your veins.

Hype beasts and fashion vultures alike will be on their knees ready to make mouth O's in a heartbeat.

r/sarcasm

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    • 1
Apr 4, 2020

wall mounted designer skate boards are so dope. gotta get the supreme skate board lol. can also never go wrong with the Hermes sofa blanket

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    • 1
Apr 4, 2020

An Hermes throw is a great fuck you accessory

    • 3
Apr 4, 2020

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    • 3
  • Intern in IB-M&A
Apr 5, 2020

holy shit that is so fucking dope

Apr 5, 2020

Virgil Abloh is the ultimate scam artist and Off White is overpriced trash. Stylizes text
"LIKE THIS" and puts a fucking tag on Nikes and draws on them with sharpie, sells them for a thousand dollars. All of high fashion is BS, but he just takes it to another level. I respect the grift though.

    • 8
    • 3
Apr 4, 2020

Alec monopoly pieces. it may fall under the art category but it's hard to beat if you're going for a fuck you vibe

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    • 1
Apr 4, 2020

this guy is such a cringeworthy, wanna-be banksy.

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    • 5
Apr 5, 2020

couldn't disagree more, have you seen his art IRL?

    • 8
Apr 8, 2020

The fact that this Alec guy associates with the godawful Philip Plein tells you everything you need to know.

    • 2
Apr 4, 2020

anything from the off white x ikea collab is an instant fuck you

  • Incoming Analyst in IB - Ind
Apr 4, 2020

Off White is equivalent to the huge Hermes belt buckle, monk strap wearing guidos that live in back office

    • 5
    • 2
Apr 5, 2020

Off White is

" GARBAGE "

    • 9
Apr 4, 2020

A handcrafted Italian chessboard with gold pieces that you never use.

"Out the garage is how you end up in charge
It's how you end up in penthouses, end up in cars, it's how you
Start off a curb servin', end up a boss"

Apr 4, 2020

just display all the gaudy champagne bottles. you know what I'm talking about

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Apr 4, 2020

Collecting and showcasing all 27 Vueve Clicquot city signs will do the job too

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Apr 4, 2020

Hey come back to my place and check out my aquarium

Apr 6, 2020
tengleha:

Hey come back to my place and check out my aquarium

pretty good, but still doesn't sound as good as:

Hey come back to my place and check out my baby tigers

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

    • 1
Apr 6, 2020

Long as you let me pet the kitty

Apr 8, 2020

I cannot say enough about salt water fish tanks. People who don't know about them still love staring at all the crazy sea creatures, people who know a little about them know the ridiculous amount of time or money needed to maintain them.

    • 1
Apr 8, 2020

I've always thought a large saltwater fish tank would be dope. I know it varies but what would the ballpark number for monthly costs and hours per week needed to maintain a 100-200 gallon tank be?

I'm a fun guy. Obviously I love the game of basketball. I mean there's more questions you have to ask me in order for me to tell you about myself. I'm not just gonna give you a whole spill... I mean, I don't even know where you're sitting at

Apr 4, 2020

A taxidermy great white shark suspended in a fish tank of your condo's foyer will reinforce the idea that you're a killer.

    • 1
  • Prospect in IB-M&A
Apr 4, 2020

Ah so this is why people call WSO toxic! But this type of post is also why I want to be a banker it's a tough life

    • 6
Apr 5, 2020

theres nothing toxic about scotch and birdies

id say that the toxic thing about WSO is all these nerds that worry about whether its bette to land a gig at GS TMT or PJT RX to go to KKR.. these also the guys that talk about finance in parties

    • 5
    • 1
  • Associate 2 in PE - LBOs
Apr 8, 2020

Haha bro. See you in London. I'll deffo order a mask from you ;)

  • Analyst 2 in IB-M&A
Apr 4, 2020
    • 1
Apr 4, 2020
Apr 4, 2020

You need some culture, start collecting art when you travel. Also keep a well stocked bar, have a bottle of what your best mates like for when they visit.

    • 1
Apr 5, 2020

A lot of empty space with uncomfortable decoration furniture

Apr 5, 2020

GET A TIGER THEY'RE ONLY LIKE TWO THOUSAND BUCKS BRO

    • 4
Apr 5, 2020

^This. Become the Tiger King.

Apr 8, 2020

I have always wanted to own a tiger

Apr 5, 2020

Two words: banana hammock

    • 1
    • 1
Apr 5, 2020

If
this
https://www.1stdibs.co.uk/furniture/decorative-obj... doesn't say FU or that you have FU money, I don't know what does

Apr 5, 2020

the prerequisite is the other person knows who Richard Orlinski is, otherwise it looks like a tacky piece you ordered off ebay

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Apr 5, 2020

Get a shark tank

Few players recall big pots they have won, strange as it seems, but every player can remember with remarkable accuracy the outstanding tough beats of his career.

Most Helpful
Apr 5, 2020

Ok, not a chap, but a fun, huge Roy Lichtenstein pop-art print would be really cool, particularly if you have light color decor. Designer throw, definitely. Fancy bar set on a tray is awesome, a decanter too, on a nice console table. Any fancy kitchen stuff, Alessi teapot, you get it. Girls love to see a well-appointed kitchen. Get one excellent, high-end set of pots and dishes, good glassware - you'll have them forever, even after you select one of those raunchy chicks permanently.
One high-end, modular, Italian couch-very low to the floor, deep for lounging on, and a very cool coffee table. I think a very modern look is quite slick, particularly if your building is traditional architecture.
Send us a photo

    • 7
Apr 5, 2020

best comment so far. will make sure you get a spot at those afterparties

    • 1
Apr 5, 2020

Ah. I wish. Wrong side of the pond! Honestly, if you throw parties, there's a fantastic go-to book I've used for years. InStyle Parties. I have the original but there are new editions. You're not in college any longer - good food, a fun cocktail, nice presentation is important. It gives hints on how to make simple things in advance, lots of items can be purchased prepared if you're not a cook (but most items don't require much skill to make) and you can just pull out of the fridge or get one of the chicks to reheat.
This is indulgent, and depends on the type of party, but hiring a helper/server is my biggest all-time party tip. For an extra $100, you'll look like a baller and can fully enjoy your party. Let someone else heat & serve, tidy, clean up. Waking up to a house that is not a train wreck is delightful.

    • 3
Apr 5, 2020

Roy Lichtenstein looks like shit change my mind

Apr 5, 2020

giant white kitchen & hot tub on the balcony

Apr 5, 2020

hot tub in living room

@40 sec

Lil Wayne and Birdman

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

    • 1
Apr 5, 2020

following

Apr 6, 2020

gotta go with this in the living room corner. 0:50 mark

    • 2
Apr 6, 2020

Laugh if you want, but this idea - I can feel a billion dollar IPO coming on.
In a raging bull market. You're going to be just covered in term sheets.

Apr 6, 2020

You should get a Hitachi Magic Wand - the world's most elite back massager, so that can show that you care about your guests' health and comfort. Now also comes in mini.

    • 6
Apr 6, 2020

Keep it in your desk at work. When the boss is angry pull it out and ask if they want a massage to relieve stress.

But who's to say what's fair to say and what not to say? Let's ask Dr. Dre
    • 2
Apr 8, 2020

TFW when ur female MD takes you up on it

    • 1
Apr 8, 2020

lmoa

"Be persistent and you will get, be consistent and you will keep it, be grateful and you will get more"

phuckQuotes

Apr 6, 2020

Living room rug made out of bear pelt with a taxidermied head still attached. ideally the gun wound should still be present for added "f-u" status. It's mouth should also double as a mechanical foot massager.

Apr 6, 2020

Owning the apartment building?

But who's to say what's fair to say and what not to say? Let's ask Dr. Dre
Apr 7, 2020

Can't go wrong with the Big Mouth Billy Bass.

bass

"Work ethic, work ethic" - Vince Vaughn
    • 3
Apr 7, 2020

There is no such thing called as FU apt, it should be FU chateau or FU vignoble, at least a FU building please.

    • 2
Apr 8, 2020

OK xiaoniu

    • 1
Apr 12, 2020

beg to differ. why dont you ask any resident of 432 Park Ave what they think of that

Apr 12, 2020

JLO says 432 Park Ave apt only counts less than 5% of her net worth.
But I do agree 432 Park Ave could be a milestone towards every FU level in the end! ;)

Apr 8, 2020

A soul would make for a fun accessory, quite expensive I've heard.

Apr 8, 2020
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Apr 14, 2020
Apr 14, 2020