European Recruitment and Assessment Centres - The Proccess

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This forum covers a lot of material on superdays but here in the UK, we do it a little differently.

I just had an email exchange with someone from my college who went through a fast-track assessment centre e after his spring week. Safe to say the poor kid was almost in tears with his first summer internship assessment centre experience. He is also from the US and due to his ignorance, didn't really know what it entailed until he went through it. For those monkeys over the pond, it's like a superday (without the pre-superday networking dinner/lunch) but more akin to a bootcamp experience involving several presentations, tests and interviews. My experience with them was never pleasant but this sums it up nicely. It'll also give prospective SA's an insight.

So you spent the better part of August, September and October doing long online applications. Most asked you to complete a set of online questions and/or a cover letter. First round was a telephone interview and then you get an invite to the assessment centre.

You turn up at the rented office or five star hotel, greeted by a doorman, who welcomes you with a sincere smile knowing you're about to get mind fucked. You're visibly nervous after realising that the past few weeks of preparation and random sticky notes of "NEVER VOTE IN GROUP EXERCISE!" have all culminated in to this one moment. The lift opens and you see your fellow brethren - eagle eyed second and third year students - hoping to leave their mark on the City of London.

You don't bat an eyelid at the guy who looks like a seasoned banker but you do take a glance at his name badge...Patrick from LSE. Fuck, I wonder if his parents named him after Bateman. Still, you think to yourself

You are given your timetable for the day. 9.30am start and 5.30pm finish. But first, breakfast in the 'holding pen' where you have to make yourself seem socially apt. You approach a group, standing in a circular fashion...a shape you've become accustomed to at networking events. You make your introduction:

All the meanwhile, you're analysing every candidate there and which college they attend. Oxford you say?

You also notice the kid Mr. Overly Keen, who likes to talk about deals..."So, Goldman Stanley Lynch advised on this deal...the valuation was interesting actually because..."

You also scour the room for hot banker-chick material. You know, the one where if she gets the internship and you do too, you'll try and crawl out of the friendzone. There she is, with 14 guys around her. FUCK. Play it cool Rumple.

Breakfast over, time for numerical test. Don't panic...wait, NO SCIENTIFIC CALCULATOR?!?

If you fail, you could potentially be told to leave the assessment centre after the test. The embarrassment. Let me sit next to Mr. Lee, who studies Maths at Imperial.

Ok, you made it. Now just one of the many group exercises you have to do followed by a presentation. You are stuck with four other guys who seem completely incompetent. Mr. Overly Keen memorised the WSJ inside out so obviously knows the answer to this completely fake scenario about a bank in Kazakhstan. He needs to make a point.

Inside, you're like

Group presentation time. One of the four assessing bankers decides to ask you a question at the end. It's simple. The answer is "they can diversify" but Mr. Overly Keen decides to leap in front of you with "Well you see Mr. Allen, what is risk and what is return? That is the question we must ask ourselves first..."

Your hopes and dreams just...destroyed.

Many more presentations later, it's time for your six interviews. You've been preparing for this Rumple. Forget the tests and presentations, this is where you make your mark.

You sit down after exchanging pleasantries and realise he's a first year analyst. POWER TRIP. LIFE ABOUT TO BE MADE HELLISH.

Analyst: "CV looks like most CVs. Finance club, yep. Blah blah blah. If I take all the shoe laces in London, tie them together, how many times could I fit that long shoe lace around Rosie O'Donnell?"

Create a distraction. DEFLECT, DEFLECT!

You make it through in one piece by getting your shit together. Most of the interviews are done and you have a 30 minute lunch break. Recover.

Mr. Overly Keen is in the corner, telling everyone about how he impressed MD in Lev Finance with his modelling know-how.

You go to grab the last few remaining cheese sandwiches when Ms. HR walks over and asks how its going.

You're almost there Rumple. One more interview with Mr. M&A. You nail this, land an invite from his desk and your life will be as follows...M&A > PE > HBS > PE > Mitt Romney

But fuck it up and you'll end up on the credit ratings team. Life is much shit.

You're done! The last interview was exhausting. You're exhausted. Everyone one is exhausted. Mr. Overly Keen still has his interview left with Mr. M&A. He walks over and asks you for help since he really wants to be in that team.

You all go to the pub at the end of that ordeal. You sneak a seat next to hot-banker chick material. Play it cool Rumple...play it cool.

You're back to college the next day. When people ask how it went, you play down your chances. Talk about how it was like a battle and you might be a casualty. You just don't know.

Next day, you get a call. You shit bricks when they ask you how you think it went. You don't want to say it went well only to be rejected and you don't want to come across as too cocky and say you nailed it. You reply "it could have gone better". They reply with, "we are going to extend you an offer".

You start to think about what kind of business card you want. Eggshell with Roman?

Before you get wasted, you ask yourself how you got the offer after all that? You remember...

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