Experiencing Imposter Syndrome

Hello Everyone -

I've find myself in a bit of a different situation than most people on this section of this site do: I find myself sitting at a target school, having secured a SA gig at a top-tier (think GS/JPM/MS) BB.

Where the problem lies is with my dad, he was unemployed for the most part of 2020 and now finds himself in this atrocious, commission-based, gig where he is surrounded by absolute morons. The really hard part about all of it is that he similarly worked at a top-tier BB for a while at the VP/ED level before transitioning to the buy side where he served as a PM for a cross-asset HF which performed tremendously well over the time it was open (net performance beat the index by over 2x for the ~4 years he was there, the fund ended up closing). Obviously, he was making decent money in these positions, so seeing his salary drop to half of what I'll be making in the event I receive a FT offer is quite frustrating; elaborating on this, he's as sharp as a whip, has over 20 years of experience in the industry in different countries, and is just an very well-rounded individual. Then there's me who, despite having a rock-solid education and has an immense interest in finance and markets as a whole, doesn't actually know anything that value-adding.

It's all just very frustrating and depressing to see this opportunity being handed to me on a silver platter all while he's sitting at home applying to jobs like crazy all while working 50 hour weeks at this shit employer just to keep our household above water. It feels absolutely terrible and makes me wonder how awful he must feel seeing me reaping this success from my job-hunting efforts while his have and continue to turn up nothing meaningful.

He never pushed me to study economics/finance at university and always instilled this idea within my head that he doesn't care if I want to become a beekeeper or a minister in Kenya, he just wanted me to study and do what truly excites me. The fact that I fell into the same industry was mainly by chance, we actually didn't even really talk to each other about strategy to land a role until I began receiving some super days. To be honest, I'm proud of the fact that out of all the people I reached out to during the process, not a single one was from him asking an old client, colleague, or friend to do him a favor and cc'ing me on an email - it was all on my own accord. I know the whole "MD/client's/whomever's shitty son" meme and I'm happy that this wasn't a result of that.

Closing in, I'm not just coming on WSO crying about how life isn't fair without having taken any action: I've done everything from help him rewrite his resume to fit today's standards, applied to 50+ positions on his behalf, and eventually convinced him to stop saying "pls" and "thx" over email correspondence with hiring managers whom he's never met before. I guess this mainly served as a way for me to get this off my chest, as I can't really talk about this stuff with people, for obvious reasons.

Thank you for reading and any and all advice or comments, positive or negative, are welcomed.