Extremely Confused

Hello everyone,

I am extremely confused as to what I want to do with my life and a crucial decision has to be made in the next month which will basically alter the rest of my life. I am just looking for advice here because I am SERIOUSLY confused - to the point where I can't sleep or focus on anything because I need to make a decision on this matter urgently. This might be a long read so please bear with me! I just want to make sure everyone understands where I am coming from so they can provide appropriate advice.

Okay so first of all, I am currently a business student outside of the U.S entering into my 3rd year upon the completion of my current work term. I have a mini crisis going on right now where I simply do not have any idea what to do with regards to which career path I should pursue. Coming into university I was supremely confident that I wanted to get my CA and work in a big 4 firm for the rest of my life. All this despite me not knowing anything about accounting at all. I didn't know what audit even meant, I just thought that it sounded professional and cool. So... I enrolled in a special accounting program offered at one of the universities. This was not really a business school as much as it was an accounting school and it was a target accounting school at that since we churned out more CAs than pretty much any other school in the country. I went in as a complete newbie, and got shell shocked by the students there. I sucked at networking (still do suck, and don't think I'll get very good anytime soon just due to my personality of being reserved) and did not land an accounting job in my first work term. I applied to more jobs than anyone else I have talked to in my program (applied to 250 jobs whereas most had applied to 10-150). I ended up getting a non-accounting role in a different city which I just was positive about overall because I know that I had tried and was satisfied at that point in time. After that work term, I came back more determined than ever to land an accounting position but something unforeseen happened and I began to consider finance as an option.

This all started because of me applying to my school's investment fund and getting in (I got very lucky; I am confident that the only reason I got in is because I had the highest grade on one of the finance midterms we did where the average of the class was 40% and most people failed). So in this investment fund, there were three levels - junior, senior, and portfolio manager. I completed my junior level last term. This was the easiest level and I was taking 5 other courses during this term as well. Despite it being the easiest level, I suffered a pretty major panic attack the night before my presentation was due because I had pulled an all nighter the night prior and I could not read any of the company's 10k's at all as my mind refused to process the information. So because of this, at around 9pm, I gave up. I was going to go to bed and decided that I would tell the professors next morning that I had quit the fund. This would have definitively tarnished my reputation as no one had EVER quit the fund in such a manner before and I would basically be screwed in ways I cannot even imagine. Public ridicule would probably have ensued and shattered my confidence for the rest of my time at university. Anyhow, I tried to sleep but couldn't do so because of my anxiety and I had some pretty dark thoughts where I wanted to die in my sleep. Overall, I was just a mess and probably at the lowest point in my life. This was probably the first time in my life that I had given up completely on something so important. I finally fell asleep at around 12am. Then, probably because of my anxiety, I woke up at 3am, completely refreshed and had one of my most productive few hours in university and managed to hand in the finished presentation before 12pm the morning. So after that insane night, I decided that I would never indulge in an all-nighter again and that I would put my health and well-being over everything else.

Shortly after this, I got an offer from a big oil company to work in their controller's department. I was quite stoked as this was the first time I would actually get to be in an accounting role. This offer came after they had already rejected me once but I guess the other candidates had found other jobs or did not want to move a few thousand km away from home. So basically I got lucky again and took it. I thought that by the end of my time there I would definitively know whether or not I wanted to pursue accounting or finance. Currently, near the end of my term, I am still confused and I initially decided to major in accounting while still being part of the fund but this time around, I would take 5 courses instead of 6 to hopefully not have a nightmarish term again. Recently, I began talking to some of my friends at the school who are just about finished their 3rd year 1st study term and who are a part of the fund and they said that this term was exceptionally and abnormally hectic when compared to prior terms. The senior level at the fund had more requirements and pitches and they all had to pull MULTIPLE all-nighters to get through the tough times. Then I reached out to one of my friends still at school in the accounting courses and he said that he pulled 5 all-nighters thus far in the term to get by. Now this is where my dilemma arises because I do not think I will be able to put in that much work in my next term and certainly no all-nighters. A bit more about my school first though.

My school allows us to fast track to the final CA exam upon the completion of a Masters of Accountancy degree which is 8 months in duration after our undergrad. We get to skip all the cores and modules and just get straight to the final exam which we should be prepared for by that time. But there's a caveat to this. We can only do this if we take the 8 month masters degree and we can only take on this degree if we complete all the required accounting courses. Right now, I realize that I will not be able to take on 4 of the required accounting courses and be on the fund at the same time because I will probably give up for real this time due to the stress and anxiety. Maybe I am just mentally fragile but there's no way I want to set myself up in a position to fail courses (very bad in our program because almost no one fails or drops courses as they are only offered once a year) or to quit the fund midway through the term and become an outcast. Because of this, I can take one of the two options:

1) Take all the CA courses and do the CA and aim for the Big 4 while ditching finance and dropping out of the fund
2) Ditch accounting and take finance courses (lot less time consuming because of less assignments and group projects) and stay in the fund and gun for iB/PE jobs

This is the decision I am confused about.
Another thing that may be important is that there is another caveat to our fast tracking CA program - that our fees are fairly high. We are dishing out 10k in tuition per term (20K per year) + housing costs etc. and these costs are justified by the school because it lets us shed about a year+ off the CA program process. So if I don't go through the CA process I am basically wasting money since I could have gone to another school for cheaper and done finance there had I known at that time.

But ultimately, I want to know what my overall prospects would be if I decided to leave accounting for finance and whether or not it would be a good decision.

I want you guys to help me answer that question and I know some of you might say that no one knows or that I have to decide for myself but I sincerely do not know and I have been thinking about this and asking around for quite some time but I am just more confused now than before. Sometimes my inner pendulum swings to accounting and other times it swings to finance. It is hard to recommend what I should do without first getting an idea of my capabilities so I will list some of my experiences and thoughts here:

My Work:

- I am in an accounting role in a large o&g company so this would probably look pretty decent on my accounting resume and I could come back in another accounting role my following term if I chose to do so. I am not sure if I could get a Big 4 placement with this though. Could someone provide some insight into this?
- I feel the work is simplistic and anyone could perform the processes (you wouldn't need an undergrad degree to do these things) but I do like the people a lot and I will honestly be sad when leaving because I will miss them.
- Overall, I do not love the work, but don't hate it either. I like the people at my workplace a lot though. I do feel like I could be doing more useful work and the roles of the other analysts on my team does not seem too exciting either. A lot of it is merely just reporting and checking to make sure the numbers make business sense with the events going on within our company.
- I talked to someone at work who said that when he joined the company, he was getting about 25K more than what he would have got at a Big 4 position. Do you think this would be sustainable with low oil prices? Do you think this is a good opportunity for me?

Accounting as An Industry:

- I feel like the main work of accountants (auditing) is going to be increasingly outsourced or heavily automated in 10-20 years from now and so audit fees are going to decrease and ultimately this will result in a less lucrative career. I was told this by someone in finance but I think it makes sense and will probably come true. Please provide your insight on this guys.

Intellect and Grades:

- I consider myself hard working but pitifully mentally fragile and not a quick thinker/street smart. I get anxious and nervous fairly easily and I probably had SAD in the past and while I have worked hard to be more open and people loving, I am still an introvert and will hesitate a little bit before talking to someone. This is something I am actively trying to eliminate from my regular process but it is proving to be difficult. This is probably the one thing I hate most about myself - not being able to be an extrovert and talk to people the way I talk to them in my head.
- My grades are decent but not exceptional. Last term was a lot of pressure and stress so they inevitably slipped to 82% but prior to that I have had 85% terms. I have been told that I will need to get atleast an 85% average for investment firms to take a peek at my resume and based on my abilities I highly doubt I can pull an 85 with accounting courses + my school's investment fund.

Peers & Finance Options:

- People who were in the investment fund this term got solid jobs for their work term. The two that I talked to got into equity research roles in regional/national firms.
- Based on that, I can probably get into a similar role hopefully. Is that a good starting point?
- Let's say I do not get into a investment job, what are the other options in finance for me not related to IB and investments side of finance?
- Admittedly, I do not know a lot about finance careers so it would be nice if someone could explain them to me or guide me in the right direction.

Future Degrees/Designations:

- After my undergrad, what should I do? Try finding work? If so, in what finance career? Should I pursue an MBA or CFA or both?

Future Goals/Ambitions/Personality:

- The salary that I want long term is a 6 digit salary figure. If, within 5 years upon graduation, I can achieve a 100k+ salary figure I will be satisfied in terms of pay. Basically by the age of 30 I want a salary that can afford a detached home and a family
- I want to work no more than 60 hours per week.
- I love to learn but not to learn under pressure. This is why I do not like being a part of the investment fund at our school. There is too much pressure which undermines the learning because it is quite stressful to pitch your stock in front of smarter, more experienced students and professors who are looking to grill you.
- I do not like aggressive people. I am currently more of a Type A personality because I am very hard driven and always stressed but I want to change that into a Type B personality where I can relax and take my time with things.
- I am not very materialistic - I hate shopping - but I would like to buy gifts for people because it makes them happy so I would like to live a lifestyle which can support that
- I am very regretful. This is probably the primary reason I would go for finance even if it shatters me just so I would not mull over it for the rest of my life.

Overall Points:

- I would go for accounting because I already have an accounting job and it would be relatively easy for me to get my CA. I could potentially be unhappy with my life and have regrets until the day I die however.
- I would go for finance because I am a part of an investment fund which is fairly exclusive and the vast majority of students from this firm go on to find work placements in investments and IB. I do not know if I will be capable enough to participate in finance competitions however because of the time commitment and my refusal to pull all-nighters.

Ultimately, I guess it all boils down to what I could do in finance if I do not make it to IB and investments and if I would be able to earn enough to support the lifestyle that I want. BESIDES IB and investments would a fast tracked CPA career be better (Let's say I get my CPA by age 25 including experience) or a finance career with a CFA/MBA (Let's say I get my CFA/MBA by age 27 including experience)?

If you have read my story, I sincerely want to thank you, I know it can take a solid 10 or so minutes just to read this. I am very anxious and uncertain about my future right now though and I would greatly appreciate any response!

 

Just cut this into 500 words or less... I've had midterm papers with less wordage than this. From what I've read You don't seem to be the kind of person who'd want to be in IB. If your committed to the investment fund then stick with it. Also, how good is your university's accounting masters? Have you looked at other masters programs and compared them? Might just be me but I'd probably try and diversify my grad school choices if I were you. Also you should maybe try and do some light reading on finance/investing if you have the time...to see if your actually interested. However, the main thing I want you to understand is you should not care about the money. You should be incentivized by a passion for what your doing otherwise you will be unhappy and probably burn out/wash out from your job. You have to stay true to yourself because ultimately you are your own worst enemy.

Keep it together and you will go far..
 
Best Response

I have nothing to add to your career decision and I don't think it's the most important issue you are facing right now.

You need to take a step back and gain some perspective. Please read what you wrote again and think about what you would think if it was someone else writing it. All of the emotion in this post make these relatively minor things seem like life or death situations and they are not even close.

-- "a low point in my life" -- You were referring to some presentation for a club at school. Honestly, the intensity of the reaction was not even remotely proportional to the situation.

I guess what I'm saying is that your reactions to situations are not typical and these overreactions are going to cause more damage to your career than any decision about where to start your career will. I would go talk to someone professional to see how they can help you with these extreme overreactions.

 

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