Feeling helplessly insecure in recruitment cycle

Intro: I study at a UK top target and interned in M&A at two EBs and one lower tier BB at regional offices. Sounds good so far but I already feel that the upcoming London recruitment cycle takes a toll on my mental health (i.e. stress, lot of unnecessary rumination about worst case scenarios).

This developed specifically after I completed Morgan Stanley's situational judgement test last year. The SJT tasked me to answer situational questions based on how I had reacted in past internships. Sounded easy, given that I in fact I had worked in M&A before and had received impeccable senior feedback, something many applicants in London don't have. However, upon completion of the SJT, I received the feedback form which said that I was "less suited" to IBD M&A. This was simply mind-boggling to me. For one, MS wanted me to answer truthfully, which I did. But then they dinged me for some random dudes who have never worked in M&A before. I mean, the best indicator for future internship performance still is excellent previous internship performance, especially if it's in the same field.

Since then, I have developed a great distrust toward investment banks and their filtering tools (looking at you Pymetrics & Hirevue) and I feel that I can't present my true self anymore, constantly overthinking and wary about what I say versus what they like to hear. It causes me much pressure and pain, and I feel paralysed when thinking that everything I do and write (Resume, cover letter, interviews) is wrong in their eyes. Clearly, it wreaked havoc on my self-esteem.

I'm just unsure how to escape this downward spiral. I tried talking to people who succeeded at IBDs in London, but they didn't seem to think much about all this stuff. One guy told me he just prepared some potential Hirevue Q&As and then took the actual Hirevue, which he passed. I did the same but blanked out during Hirevue, thinking my answers were not good enough.

Maybe someone's experiencing something similar or has tipps on how to get back on track.

Best

 

You seem like you care a lot to succeed, and you’re young so it’s natural to feel unsure of yourself.

Easier said than done, but you need to take matters into your own hands. Learn to take control, and have no mercy. Stop caring about what others are doing or thinking, and just be yourself. No matter with whom you are speaking with, be like the MD in the room taking over the convo. Stop overthinking and go kill it out there.

 
Most Helpful
ecobiz:

Since then, I have developed a great distrust toward investment banks and their filtering tools (looking at you Pymetrics & Hirevue) and I feel that I can't present my true self anymore, constantly overthinking and wary about what I say versus what they like to hear. It causes me much pressure and pain, and I feel paralysed when thinking that everything I do and write (Resume, cover letter, interviews) is wrong in their eyes. Clearly, it wreaked havoc on my self-esteem.

Its not always that you're wrong, it just might not be the best fit. Don't worry a lot about overthinking what you say versus like what they like to hear. What you should be prepared to speak about is a value proposition of why you will excel in their group. Be poised and confident and just develop a pitch and practice it if you need to. Every position has bullet points for requirements and responsibilities/duties - if you convey to the person that you will excel at each one of these, you start to turn the interview in your favor.

But, fit is always a factor. You could be spending a lot of time around each other, so it is something considered on many levels in the job search. So don't sabotage yourself and just be cool and confident.

Being deadass nervous is bad/weird. If you need to get past that maybe a little more self help is required and more interview prep is required until you feel very comfortable in interviews. Getting through 5, 10, 20 interviews are big steps (in acquiring interview experience) and you will worry about this less later in life.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

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