Fell down and struggling to get back up
Hey guys,
I come from a UK semi target and should have graduated this year (started in 2018) but had to take a 1-year gap from uni due to health and personal problems. Now I will enter my final year this sept and graduate in 2022.
The past year has been hell - everything that can go wrong has probably gone wrong. No excuses here but I feel tired and unmotivated emotionally. It feels like a vast plain of indifference and unenthusiasm.
I need to start applying for fulltime roles and I have no idea how I will do it with this mentality when there are thousands out there hustling for that role with a ride or die enthusiasm. I am not even worried about the CV part (I do have solid experiences), I am worried about the interviews where I may come off as unmotivated and frankly just dead.
In normal times, talk is what I am good at - interviews are my strength and communication is my one big skill (born to diplomats and really just forced to develop it all throughout childhood and teenage life to fit in). But now this interview (and in extension hirevue) is the very thing that seems daunting now. Even online tests - if one question goes wrong it messes with my head. My already unmotivated self becomes even more demotivated and it becomes like whatever - and I self sabotage the remaining test questions.
I need to get a job (it is not even a choice - long story short I lost my support system and I need a job to survive).
Experienced (and even newbies) here, what are your 2 cents on how to keep going when nothing seems good (or even favourable) anymore. What pumped you up when you were about to give up? When you were at a stage in life where one wrong step and you can lose a lot of things that are on the line - what kept you sane but still motivated enough to not succumb to the negative emotions? What kept you going?
Any advice is appreciated really.
Cheers
For me, it’s the fact that ultimately you and you alone decide what happens in your life.
You can sit there with a ‘woe is me’ attitude and you may be perfectly entitled to feel wrong by your particular circumstance, but the universe doesn’t actually give a fuck about you and the world will keep spinning regardless.
You’ve got one life. Do you think you’d be happy with yourself if you look back in 50 years with regrets for not trying hard enough at this stage in life?
I was in the exact same situation to you (to the extent that you’ve shared) and also felt similarly despondent. Realising that my choice was either to do it or not do it made things very simple for me. I’m very happy where I am now. Best of luck.
This hit hard.
Also more power to you on reaching that happy place :)
Hey. I read your previous posts and you seem like a good person. This year has definitely been hard for a lot of people. If you want, you can PM me to set up a call. I'm happy to give advice/insights. I've worked in PE, VC, and startups, so I know a thing or two about interviews and networking.
I’m an incoming junior who just finished recruiting for SA22 but barely stayed motivated because this last year gutted me like a fish. Total devastation across the board in every area of my personal life. I watched a family member die from cancer, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me, all the COVID-19 shit, I gained 20 pounds, I just couldn’t get my mojo back and was pretty depressed for several months. For me, what helped me get through it was just forcing myself to do a bunch of little tasks. Waking early up to go to the gym even though I didn’t want to, prepping networking emails even though I didn’t want to, studying questions, even though I didn’t want to, doing school stuff, even though I didn’t want to. It was very rough honestly, every day was just constant pain. But somehow I made it through, got the offer, lost the 20 pounds and added muscle, and I’m a better place now (although admittedly not quite at the level I was at before). There was never a magic aha moment or breakthrough, never some profound realization, never some magic moment where someone took the pain away, just very slow incremental change every day by forcing myself to do shit I didn’t want to and one day I woke up and I had gotten most of my goals done. Keep pushing through, you’re stronger than you think, see a therapist or a shrink if you think that’s helpful, and don’t ever fucking give up. Good luck
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