Free lunch to anyone in JPM, BoA- ML or GS in Toronto - PM info
We can go below the RBC/Merrill Lynch/TD Plaza for some delicious lunch at Szechuan Express. There are many other restaurants too, so it will be your pick.
I work in the heart of the financial district in downtown Toronto, Bay Street, and I'm just looking to network. Rest assured, I will not be begging you for a job as I do not plan on going into investment banking for another 3 years. I just have a few questions that I would like to have answered in a face-to-face setting. So let's just network over a free lunch!
PM me your info and I will get in touch. Availability is anywhere between 11am-2pm.
Hahaha, yes, you won't ask them for a job directly obviously. But they're not dumb. They know you're gna ask'em for a job after you established the relationship. I'm quite certain there are few question about IBD unanswerable on WSO.
Don't embarrass yourself bro
You need to relax.
Wow, just wow...
When did BOA join the ranks of GS/MS/JPM?
These banks are all within 100 feet from where I work. In fact, I just found out that Morgan Stanley is as well. So, my invititation is open to IB employees of GS/MS/JPM/BoA- ML.
Wow...
Szechuan express, really? The chances of this actually coming to fruition are low enough, and by going there they're even lower
Wouldn't it be easier to find people on Linkedin, bloomberg, or some other method and personally email them a note rather than sounding completely desperate and making them come to you? I mean, you offer nothing about your enthusiasm or ability and just say on a public forum " Yo Adrienne if your working around here give me a call alright" Why don't you do some leg work and find individual people yourself, rather than asking them to come to you.....do you expect them to suck their own cocks as well?
PS...coffee works a lot better than lunch,because it less time consuming, cheaper, and its a lot easier to talk while casually drinking a drink than eating a full meal.
Hmm, point taken. About the coffee thing, not the cock-sucking thing.
Perhaps the people shooting your offer down are not aware of the fact that you are a Mensa member. You should bring this to their attention posthaste (better play it safe... put it in both your lunch threads).
Unreal...MENSA and buying people lunch? Bring Meghan Fox with you and you're hired...
Alright - get this straight. No banker or finance professional (at any level) will think you're doing them a favor by buying them a $7 lunch. It's an insult. Not because it's a $7 lunch and not a $100 meal - it's because you are assuming people are willing to give out their help, advice and time for a meal from a kid in school.
If they respond to cold emails/calls they are doing YOU a favor. The thing to do is offer to buy coffee if someone decides to meet with you (but from my past experience, they often counter-offer too). Why people help is because they may see themselves in the same spot once upon a time... or they want to pay it forward (someone helped them when they were younger), or they feel they are now in the position to mentor the inexperienced.
And another thing - I find it hilarious you're only reaching out to US based banks (and not even the whole list) given you're in Toronto. Bay Street is a pretty small place, you can easily cast a wider net.
Ah he's a kid, give him a break.
But as douchy as everyone's being, they aren't lying to ya. Instead of offering a free lunch (which really doesnt matter that much to them), politely and tactfully beg them for the opportunity to look at your pimple-ridden face while you grill them about the ins-and-outs of their business and ask for a job.
:-p
Ok Tek, I feel the need to show you that I'm not just a troll and point out the folly in your ways, and how you managed to leave a sour taste in pretty much everyone's mouth from a short 1 paragraph post:
This thread went sideways from the very first word you typed out: "FREE." If you were trying to pick up a carload of Mexicans at cash corner then you would be on the right track. Unfortunately you're trying to switch careers, not get a deep freezer moved into your basement.
And you're being a bit of a choosy beggar, no? Why only JPM/BoA/ML/GS? You do realize that on Bay Street RBC/CIBC/TD/BMO/Scotia are pretty big players, right? Now if anyone from a top Canadian bank reads this thread, they're going to feel slighted that their bank apparently isn't important enough for Mr. Mensa to part with 7 of his hard earned dollars, and you think they're going to give up an hour out of their 80hr work week to share a meal with you?
Ok, unfortunate subject, whatever it's done, let's move on.
Oh fuck, did you really open by telling your prospective lunch buddy where he will be eating? This is not Craigslist, it's not 2AM, and you're not giving out deals on handjobs... let's not start the relationship with you dictating terms.
Oh phew, so I would get a say in this matter after all... I was beginning to worry that you'd order for me too. But you already made your selection known, and I really wouldn't want to upset you, honey. I know how you get when you haven't had your Szechuan Express.
That's right, get it out there early: I don't want this arrangement to hassle me too much. I work in the heart of downtown Toronto, and I am willing to travel a block or two to see you.
Good call on managing your lunch date's expectations right out of the gates. Remember: this is just a networking exercise. God forbid you guys get along and they want to establish a friendship of some form where you actually bring something to the table. You can quickly point out how you were never interested in anything serious. This is just networking, baby.
Not for another fucking 3 years?!? You mean you DON'T need to land a finance gig pronto to keep the web-of-lies you told your Russian mail-order bride in tact? bThen why can't you use the search button and learn through WSO like everyone fucking else?[/b] Oh, right... sorry, sometimes I get out of line. I forgot you were with Mensa. My apologies. Right this way sir.
Great choice of wording. It never hurts to remind these muppets:
1) This is JUST networking. 2) Lunch is FREE.
When you're making it rain with $7 free lunches there's no need to get these dummies to tell you when a good time to contact them would be... nah, just get them to send you their info and you'll call them within a week or two, when it's good for you.
You are available between 11AM - 2PM? La-de-fucking-da. Thanks for telling your prospective lunch buddy not only to jump, but when.
Also, where's a fucking please and thank you? Re-read your original post. I don't see it anywhere.
In your other thread you say you have pretty good people skills... everything you've posted today points in the other direction. You need to work on your people skills.
^ oooooSnaaaaaap! Silver banana'd.
Edit: Why did you delete that epic post?
^ I went on a bit of a rant once I started and had a pang of remorse once I hit post and realized I wrote a diatribe lambasting some socially handicapped kid.
But I just can't let that SB go to waste...
Well, I plead for leniency Tek, bur after oSnap's fantastic rant I'm going to advise you to start a whole new account (dont change your username, youll be found out). I also advise not asking for advice on anything for a few months. Stick to reading/commenting and get the feel of WSO before you ask another question... or offer free networking lunches.
oSnap, I'd find it hypocritical to give you an SB after my plea for leniency, thus I won't. Instead, remember that I would otherwise award you one. I know the thought of my sincerity and awe at your skillful pwnage of a noob will keep you warm when it's cold and full when you're hungry.
Fuck hypocrisy, that post deserves a SB.
God damnit, okay.
+1
I find all this kind of funny; therefore, I will not waste my time refuting your points Kanon. (I could easily crush you since I came 4th in provincial-wide debates - that's from a pool of 1250 debaters)
The offer is still open. I buy lunch and we talk.
Ok, he's been subtle so far, but after this little gem I suspect he's trolling.
If not, Tek, do yourself a huge favor and learn to be a bit more humble before you humiliate yourself in front of a banker at Szechuan Palace or whatever that place was called. Being an asshole isn't tolerated in finance until you've at the very least got an offer in hand, and even then you're better off waiting a few years.
If and when you actually sit down with a banker, do everything in your power to not let them know you think you are better than they are - I know that's hard for you.
Rofl, I have nothing to prove to anyone; believe what you would like. If it ever comes down to having to prove anything I've said then that can easily be done in person with my certificates and a google search online. And as my mentor from Booth told me about IB, it's 99% hard work and only 1% brains. Therefore, I will keep your advice in mind.
oSnap, SB for you sir, hats down! Def tore him a new a**hole
I skimmed his post history, his GPA is 3.5 from a non-target, claims he's in the top 2% of IQ, claims he debates better than Clinton...
Also I'm Canadian, how the hell do YOU not mention the big 6 Canadian Banks? Major disrepect.
My post did not say "Free lunch to anyone in GS/MS/etc but don't even talk to me if you're in any other bank."
I'm going to stop replying to these non-perusal responses because I will not take any more umbrage.
Please think before you post.
My post did not say "Free lunch to anyone in GS/MS/etc but don't even talk to me if you're in any other bank."
I'm going to stop replying to these non-perusal responses because I will not take any more umbrage.
Please think before you post.
Take your own advice. You're on a message board with a number of people on Wall Street. You've essentially alienated them all. Perhaps business is not the industry for you. You are in MENSA, have you thought about law school or a different career path?
bump*
My offer still stands for FT employees of GS/MS/BoA- ML/JPM.
Tek.. if you can walk and talk you can go to brock =P
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