From hardships to a great career: realistic?

I have recently finished a BSc in Economics at a top European university and started a prestigious master in another top uni.

I come from a dysfunctional family (depression, alcohol/drug abuse, prostitution, stealing and lying), life has never been super easy, but it exacerbated after we went into financial troubles (i even spent two Christmas alone in my university city). Luckily, I am mentally healthy (did a lot of preventive therapy to avoid ending up with my parents' disturbs) but I am not superman. The whole thing took a toll on my academic performance and personal health/well being.

On paper, if you don't know my personal story, I look like a failure (some amazing grades, some terrible ones, finished my bachelor a year later because started working and hence). However, if you look closer, I did put a lot of effort, I was resilient in an extreme and chaotic situation and limited as much as possible the downsides. My goal was avoiding disaster, not optimising grades.

I am now on track, estranged from my family and will soon approach the workforce. I would like to start my career in Investment Banking, however i feel like an unemployable pariah (all the people i know had more stable path, HRs may look at my ups-and-downs as a sign of me not being a reliable person).
To make things more complicated, I never really opened up to anyone (it was not easy for me). So, even if I have some contacts in some banks, I am not sure i can get a lot of help (of course, i will reach out and try to get a reference, but it won't be east).

Do you have any recommendations on what i could do? Do you know anyone who made it? What's their story?
How would you recommend approaching applications? Should I write my personal story in my cover letter or maybe just mention "family problems"?

Thank you a lot for your help!

 

Downplay the depression thing. Tell nobody. There is a stigma. I’m sorry. Try to make up a better sounding reason why you had a difficult year or two. Most bankers will roll their eyes at these sob stories unless you have a freaking crazy one and even then half of them will think you’re making it up.

You said you went to a target school? Go on LinkedIn and start looking up alumni that work in your city in banking and email them. Don’t message on LinkedIn, use their name to try to guess their company email (probably [email protected]).

 

Thank you for your reply. I have always been very reserved about it, and I thought the same about the stigma and that people could think I made it up. I will try another way to explain the drop. I generally used Linkedin messages, but I will follow your advice. Thank you!

 
Most Helpful

Hey there, as you probably know there are a lot of people like myself who will probably make your life seem like a fairytale. I dont understand the purpose of your post too much besides venting, your background/disadvantages wont hold you back from achieving your goals. You can make all the excuses you want about how those situations affected your performance but eh at the end of the day it was on you. One of the positive things that you can take away from having a shit life and having to constantly work under extreme circumstances is that you probably have developed traits that most people at your age will never develop, those traits will take you far in life you leverage them right.

Life is rough and sometimes unfair, but remember those shit situations like those shitty alone Christmases whenever you want to give up and use those memories as fuel to gain control to never have to experience those things again. You are not alone, I truly understand what you are going through, fuck even those alone Christmas take me back to having to work overnights during Christmases and every holiday just to be able to afford school.

In regards to how you can leverage your rough life when networking or applications, you simply dont. At the end of the day banks want to hire you for your skills not your sob story. I kept everything to myself when I went to recruiting, the only thing I mentioned was working full time to support my family to explain the gap between my education. Thats about it, I didnt explain my family situations or anything to that regard. I had a lot of shitty experiences that pushed me to the limit in regards to lack of sleep (working part time, interning for free in places that took me 5 hours total to commute, and taking full time classes while achieving perfect grades) that I used during interviews for questions such as tell me about a time you had too much on your plate and how you handled it. I dont think people in the industry like sob stories, it just comes off as pity seeking, the same applies to the excuses you can say about your grades.

So in regards to your question, yes there are people with similar backgrounds that make it. Where you came from doesnt define where you can go, you are the only one that can decide your future.

 

Thank you for your reply. I probably wasn't very clear, but for the sake of simplicity I decided to cut some parts.

  1. I do not need to vent. My goal - explicitly stated in the last lines - was to look for advice.
  2. I am sorry for your circumstances, i didn't want to start a race on who had it worse. "It was on you" is really a bit simplistic and superficial. I kinda understand what you mean, but it's easier said than done.
  3. I am not pity seeking, I rolled my sleeves up, worked and interned, starting a big name master of science soon, so that really doesn't apply.
  4. For a more accurate analysis, i think you should distinguish between tough external conditions (like financial), and conditions that rots you inside and are totally outside of your control (like trauma and dysfunctional families). You can toughen up on the former, not that easy to do on the latter.

Happy you managed to catch up - at least - professionally

 

I highly recommend leaving your health issues out of your application. The job is stressful and telling your employer that you might have a breakdown is putting you on a bad position.

However, I highly recommend you looking for something less stressful. Depression is nothing to play with and stress can cause you to to break, without having time for a therapist you can get into some very serious mental breakdown.

I can tell you that there are days or even weeks that bankers are in severe constantious stress and on the brick of quitting. We bounce up eventually but I wouldn't do this if I thought I had any mental illness. This is the kind of job that makes a healthy man breakdown, I can't imagine what would do to someone whos already there.

Just make sure this is the path you want to go through.

Cocky millionaire
 

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