Fundamentals of Sucking Dick

liquidiot's picture
Rank: Gorilla | 500

One thing that I hate about the 21st century is the fact that people, yes even on WSO, have 0 understanding of how to have to properly suck my dick in a way that is actually pleasurable.

Instead, we rely on variety of logical fallacies. It's an endless stream of strawman (I said i like A, but you argue against B) and false associations (I said don't forget my taint but now you think I'm gay, which is completely unrelated to liking a little bit of ass play).

What's worse is that there are all sorts of poor attempts to establish some sort of moral high ground: "Oh you said you'd never swallow, so you must be some vanilla bastard." I blame the pornstars for that, but the same sexual pattern has trickled down to everyone. Since the world is getting dumber by the day, I'm going to explain to everyone the fundamentals of sucking my dick.

1) If you disagree with some point I've made, try providing a counter-argument with my dick in your mouth.

2) Support with a solid two-hand grip. Provide saliva when applicable.

3) If you notice a logical fallacy, you're probably not focused on the task at hand. Get back to work!

WOW what groundbreaking revelations, right? If you ever went to high school in your lifetime, this should be common sense. But why isn't it? I'm fucking sick and tired of people just screaming bunch of horseshit without being able to suck a proper dick.

Comments (15)

Jul 30, 2020

does a penis age more or less quickly than the rest of the body
the balls age quickest obvi

heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

https://arthuxtable.com/

Jul 30, 2020

quality post right here

    • 1
Jul 30, 2020

I wonder if people think this topic is funny as a topic or because it is a spoof on another topic.

  • Prospect in Other
Jul 30, 2020

Fellas, is it gay to be a little disappointed that this post isn't what you thought it was going to be when you clicked it?

    • 1
Jul 30, 2020

I'll crossapply my response from the other topic. the modern type-a competitive atmosphere has resulted in us becoming too competitive in our dick-sucking. the fact that I can't suck my homies off without them telling me they could do it better, and in a way that is not logically sound, no less.

The scoratic method, sucking dick in a way that makes it a shared experience instead of a gold medal and a resume line is the superior way.

10/10 post.

Jul 30, 2020

This is supposed to make fun of me, but it's beautifully written. 10/10.

1 SB for you sir.

Financial Data Science

    • 1
Jul 30, 2020

I knew this was about my pal Milton after the second sentence.

Jul 30, 2020

stop stalking me

Financial Data Science

Jul 31, 2020

I disagree with you on many things on this site, but I'm sure glad we could share a common laugh

    • 1
Jul 30, 2020

i tell every girl don't use hands, i'm tired of death grip

    • 2
Jul 30, 2020

What's worse is that a lot of women in early & mid 20s don't seem to know that all the nerves are at the head of your penis. And what's up with all that teeth?

Financial Data Science

Funniest
Jul 31, 2020

your girls hands actually fit around it? Guess not everybody is blessed with a tree trunk down there...

    • 2
Jul 31, 2020

Damn, she can use both hands? I would have been happy if she could grip with 3 fingers

Jul 31, 2020
Comment