A buddy of mine broke-up with his ex for farting on the couch with him only 3 months into their relationship. Very shallow yes, but he was looking for a reason to get rid of her. This was the tipping point. He told me "Dude, everyone knows there is a 6 month period before you can start ripping ass in front of each other".
When do you guys think it is appropriate to blow mud in front of your significant other?
I'd love to hear some hilarious break-up stories.
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my buddy got dumped because his girl had a dream he cheated on her... Then ended up getting married, and divorced.
...and they say dreams don't come true...
Imo farting be nasty af... I once had a girl unleash a massive fart in my bed when she finally fell asleep and her body stopped clenching dem cheeks tight to keep it in; horrific experience I wouldn’t wish on anyone.
Shitting is a different story though. Tbh I’m trying to set the stage for normalizing going poop at each other’s cribs from day 1. Trying to maintain 1g of protein per pound of body weight to keep the gains up at the gym and this means chonky shits twice a day...
Holding in your shit overnight waiting to be alone again/to go back to your own spot is so fucking awful... amirite?
1g per pound sounds like it's too much unless you are pure muscle. Had a PT recommend me a number more-so around the 0.8-0.85 range.
Wrong
following. This should be good!
I was having a nice lunch with my GF (who I had dated for a few years) at a pretty fancy NYC restaurant and she tried to pressure me into marriage and I made it clear that I didn’t want to be there with her (didn’t touch the plate and was drawing on the napkin) and winded up telling her “you’re not terribly important to me.” She started crying and making a scene so I left and returned some videotapes.
Jeez Satan
Ha I guess you don’t get the reference
"Good, a woman who can fart is not dead."
-Comtesse De Vercellis
Maybe not funniest, but definitely the most bizarre. After dating a girl for six months I decided to break up with her because she was, quite literally, a narcissistic psycho. I had become close with her Dad who I asked for advice on the matter and he basically sympathetically understood and gave me his blessing on dumping her. Anyway, she handled it ok when I did the breaking up, but after she found out I went to her Dad for advice...oh man, it was like DEFCON 1 insanity, screaming, crying, insulting me, you name it. I find it funny just out of how ridiculous it was.
This is gold. You should go golf with her dad now that it's said and done to really put the nail in the coffin.
Definitely would if I could. He's back in my hometown and I don't really visit that often. I hear he still asks about me through the grapevine though. Great guy.
I broke up with a girl around her dad when we were moving. I went inside to help moving, she cussed at me thinking it was her dad and I was like - no fuck you we are done - and it was over - I smiled to her dad outside on the way out and that was it.
Then, to add to this drama, she invited me to dinner after we were done to 'talk'. She ordered some shrimp dish and I was like 'I'm just literally getting water' and got water to be nonpresent in this situation - she asked to get back together - I said no - and then she walked out on me with this shrimp dish still coming, and I was like wtf. So I paid for her shrimp dish - didn't even eat it - blocked this chick. Fuck her.
Also, one of the reasons we broke up was because she needed a workout plan and I told her if she missed any workouts it was breakup material. Literally outlined an 8 week fitness plan for her and she failed. Not good.
I need a chick thirsty for workouts.
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I met this chick in CFA Level 1 class in DC. We started studying together and one night went to Chipotle for some food. Then we started dating. She had anger management issues though so once she hit me in anger with her purse and I was like 'next time you do that, we're done'. Took her a few weeks, but she did it again - was like 'we're done'. She was pretty hot, so this was hard for me too. I drove her home and she wouldn't get out of the car. It was awkward. Also, I had my CFA Level 1 exam in Dec and was selling my car to move to NYC and she was my ride to the CFA exam and she threatened not to drive to the CFA exam location in fucking Dulles or wherever it was and that was a disaster. She eventually drove me though to the test. We studied together and she passed and I failed. Fucking CFAI. I eventually passed L1.
I thought about not breaking up until after the CFA exam for this reason, but then decided to shut it down as I was moving to NYC anyway - like why stay together?
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