Funny first day story

I'm reposting this comment, which I made on another post, to my blog -- think it's a good standalone story, but not exactly front-page material.

First internship of my life, the guy I worked for had a completely f*cking ridiculous name.

In fact, it is so ridiculous that I can't repeat it here or all you monkeys will go and Google it and know exactly who he is. So, the name in this story has been changed to something equally ridiculous.

Day 1 of my internship. I'm mostly working with this one guy, Steve Dushkunu. He says, "Call up Bob in such and such group, tell him you work with me and that we need the comps."

So I call Bob and say, "Hi, I'm working with Steve Dush-koo-nu, please send over the comps."

Bob says, "Sure thing. Oh, and FYI, his name is pronounced Douche-canoe." I'm like, Yeah right, real funny.

An hour later, same thing. I say I'm working with Steve Dush-koo-nu, and another guy says, "Hey, I think it's pronounced Douche-canoe."

Ha ha. But I know people play all sorts of shitty practical jokes on interns on their first day, so I'm not fooled.

Couple days later, Steve Dushkunu takes me aside. "Look, didn't anybody tell you? My name is pronounced Douche-canoe."

Oh, shit. I take a deep breath and resolutely do not crack even the slightest smile. "... Oh. I see. I'm sorry, I just thought people were telling me to say that as..."

Long pause. I realize I'm about to drive off a cliff but I have no idea how to finish the sentence any other way.

"... As a... joke."

The guy scowls. "Well, it's not a joke."

Long awkward pause. Then, in a desperate effort to rescue the moment, I say, way too brightly, "All righty, well, now I know."

Aw god, brutal.

Things ultimately didn't work out between me and Mr. Douche-canoe, since he turned out to be something of a douche-canoe. But I will never forget him. Or his pronunciation.

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