I'm reposting this comment, which I made on another post, to my blog -- think it's a good standalone story, but not exactly front-page material.
First internship of my life, the guy I worked for had a completely f*cking ridiculous name.
In fact, it is so ridiculous that I can't repeat it here or all you monkeys will go and Google it and know exactly who he is. So, the name in this story has been changed to something equally ridiculous.
Day 1 of my internship. I'm mostly working with this one guy, Steve Dushkunu. He says, "Call up Bob in such and such group, tell him you work with me and that we need the comps."
So I call Bob and say, "Hi, I'm working with Steve Dush-koo-nu, please send over the comps."
Bob says, "Sure thing. Oh, and FYI, his name is pronounced Douche-canoe." I'm like, Yeah right, real funny.
An hour later, same thing. I say I'm working with Steve Dush-koo-nu, and another guy says, "Hey, I think it's pronounced Douche-canoe."
Ha ha. But I know people play all sorts of shitty practical jokes on interns on their first day, so I'm not fooled.
Couple days later, Steve Dushkunu takes me aside. "Look, didn't anybody tell you? My name is pronounced Douche-canoe."
Oh, shit. I take a deep breath and resolutely do not crack even the slightest smile. "... Oh. I see. I'm sorry, I just thought people were telling me to say that as..."
Long pause. I realize I'm about to drive off a cliff but I have no idea how to finish the sentence any other way.
"... As a... joke."
The guy scowls. "Well, it's not a joke."
Long awkward pause. Then, in a desperate effort to rescue the moment, I say, way too brightly, "All righty, well, now I know."
Aw god, brutal.
Things ultimately didn't work out between me and Mr. Douche-canoe, since he turned out to be something of a douche-canoe. But I will never forget him. Or his pronunciation.
LOL ok, this is funny.
BWAHAHAHAHA great story, thanks for sharing. We have one of those here, I think banks hire them just to keep things interesting. Can't say the name but goddamn I love calling them up and saying "Hello Mr. ********" as loud as I can.
Awesome. Douche canoe is going to become a regular part of my vocabulary now.
This is absolutely classic
that's hilarious - thanks for sharing!
when is the bankerella.com IPO
If somebody wants to pitch me, I'll at least take the meeting.
all i want to know is...who's on first?
All of us do. Every time someone opens up a deck of slides in a meeting, somebody is pitching and somebody is catching.
Just like in baseball, pitching means a lot of work. And, as in baseball, catching means a lot of risk. The pitcher's problems end when the ball leaves his hand, which is when the catcher's problems spring into existence.
SB for anyone who considers converting this metaphor to sex but chooses to be the better man instead.
Me
meh... i considered it but the whole "pitcher/catcher" thing would have been funnier if you were a guy.
so, did you end up riding the douche-canoe?
Howie Feltersnatch? Good guy.
Thats Hilarious! I once had a co-worker named Regina; I thought nothing of it at first, pronouncing it 'Ra-gee-na'; she quickly corrected me though:'no' she said. Its 'Ra-gi-na'... A giggle slipped out because I was caught off guard. I wasnt her favorite person after that. (she must have a lot of enemies if thats how she rolls)
From then onwards when I wanted to get her attention I would walk into her line of vision, make eye contact and just start talking... or do one of those long "ummmms" as if youre thinking about something and then start talking when she turned around...
cross posting violates WSO user guidelines...sorry for bein such a douche-canoe
God this is hilarious. What a douche.
at one point i worked with someone whose last name was "Balls". it took a lot of willpower, but i managed not to laugh.
i just hope to God that he doesn't have a cousin Harry.
Harry Baals was mayor of Fort Wayne. Yes, the last name is pronounced exactly as you think it would.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_Baals
Ha, then you can imagine then how hard it is for MPs in England not to snigger at Ed Balls (in my opinion, he had a real shot at becoming PM) . They actually do take the mickey out of him every once in a while, love it when Cameron rips into him.
if your days are like this i can see why you really need a stiff one once in a while.
Douche-canoe may have to become a permanent part of my vocabulary. It's just too fun to say.
Douche-canoe
There was actually an Engineer at my last firm named Richard Swett, who was a part of quite a few meetings I sat in on. It took all the self control on earth...
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