Furious Ape ID'd; NOT Ken Lewis!

Preliminary reports indicating that BofA CEO Ken Lewis had been observed calmly stockpiling rocks to later unleash a barrage against his tormentors in a fit of rage at a Swedish zoo have largely been discounted. It seems the confusion arose after comments were made by Mathias Osvath, an animal behaviorist, who seemed to be speaking about the embattled CEO with respect to his poorly executed takeover of Merrill Lynch:


"It is normal behavior for alpha males to want to influence their surroundings ... It is extremely frustrating for him that there are people out of his reach who are pointing at him and laughing," Osvath said. "It cannot be good to be so furious all the time."

It later became clear, however, that Osvath could not be speaking about Lewis when he remarked,


"These observations convincingly show that our fellow apes do consider the future in a very complex way. It implies that they have a highly developed consciousness, including lifelike mental simulations of potential events."

Turns out the violent, though largely ineffective, attack was carried out by Santino, a 31-year old chimp, and that Lewis wasn't even in Sweden at the time. Just to be on the safe side, though, zoo officials took a page out of the Treasury's playbook and castrated Santino.

More on the story here:

http://apnews.myway.com/article/20090309/D96QN3P0…

 

Sed laboriosam enim ipsum soluta. Nemo reiciendis similique aut atque aut facilis quibusdam.

Soluta est dolorum accusamus itaque numquam. Laboriosam et modi quia magnam voluptatem eos totam. Minima est perspiciatis quo in est tempore deleniti.

Career Advancement Opportunities

April 2024 Investment Banking

  • Jefferies & Company 02 99.4%
  • Goldman Sachs 19 98.8%
  • Harris Williams & Co. New 98.3%
  • Lazard Freres 02 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 03 97.1%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

April 2024 Investment Banking

  • Harris Williams & Co. 18 99.4%
  • JPMorgan Chase 10 98.8%
  • Lazard Freres 05 98.3%
  • Morgan Stanley 07 97.7%
  • William Blair 03 97.1%

Professional Growth Opportunities

April 2024 Investment Banking

  • Lazard Freres 01 99.4%
  • Jefferies & Company 02 98.8%
  • Goldman Sachs 17 98.3%
  • Moelis & Company 07 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 05 97.1%

Total Avg Compensation

April 2024 Investment Banking

  • Director/MD (5) $648
  • Vice President (19) $385
  • Associates (86) $261
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (14) $181
  • Intern/Summer Associate (33) $170
  • 2nd Year Analyst (66) $168
  • 1st Year Analyst (205) $159
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (145) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

1
redever's picture
redever
99.2
2
Secyh62's picture
Secyh62
99.0
3
Betsy Massar's picture
Betsy Massar
99.0
4
BankonBanking's picture
BankonBanking
99.0
5
CompBanker's picture
CompBanker
98.9
6
dosk17's picture
dosk17
98.9
7
kanon's picture
kanon
98.9
8
GameTheory's picture
GameTheory
98.9
9
bolo up's picture
bolo up
98.8
10
Linda Abraham's picture
Linda Abraham
98.8
success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”