GF Broke up w me on NYE

Associate 2 in CB

Yep lmfao. Didn't get a New Years kiss and I was like "dang no NYE smooch?!" and she goes "honestly I just don't feel the spark anymore" then went on to talk about how she's late 20's and doesn't feel like she has a career yet either and needs to figure that out. I'm prepared for the MS bc this is a weak post. But man sucks. Dated since college thought it was wifey. Just gotta vent I guess.

TLDR: 2020 is already trash - 2021 is gonna be my year

Comments (138)

Most Helpful
Jan 1, 2020

Honestly man, the way you should look at it is, at least she didn't waste your time sticking around. This is your opportunity to focus on your self now. My ex broke up with me because I didn't give her enough of my time because I was so focused on building a foundation and although it hurt, financially, I'm doing a lot better than when I was with her. Being single gives you an opportunity to do whatever you want. If you're in the same spot, financially, career wise or health wise, post breakup years later, you're doing something wrong. Better yourself. This is your opportunity.

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  • Associate 2 in CB
Jan 2, 2020

This is a great perspective man. "Better yourself. This is your opportunity." Love it.

    • 1
Jan 1, 2020

Download Tinder and get swiping

Currently applying to medical school.
7 Acceptance so far

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  • Analyst 2 in IB - Gen
Jan 1, 2020

Low key perfect timing. New year with a fresh start. It's ok to feel like shit but don't keep throwing pity parties for yourself. Write down your goals today. Take a picture of yourself in the mirror with a date. You can always look back and be like that was the day I stepped the fuck up. You got it KING

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Jan 1, 2020
Associate 2 in CB:

Yep lmfao. Didn't get a New Years kiss and I was like "dang no NYE smooch?!" and she goes "honestly I just don't feel the spark anymore" then went on to talk about how she's late 20's and doesn't feel like she has a career yet either and needs to figure that out. I'm prepared for the MS bc this is a weak post. But man sucks. Dated since college thought it was wifey. Just gotta vent I guess.

Better you know now, but that's a pretty weak way to do it on her part. You'll probably laugh about the absurdity of it in a couple years, but I'm sure it hurts now.

Spend a couple weeks drinking and running through randoms and then get your life together - hit the gym, call your mom, spend time with friends you haven't seen in a while, and plan what's next in your career.

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Jan 16, 2020

Works every time. This is my post-breakup routine.

"Bestow pardon for many things; seek pardon for none."

    • 1
Jan 1, 2020

as your financial advisor, i would suggest that once operations have stabilised after your recent divesture you should launch a JV with your preferred right and/or left hand

Thank you for your interest in the 2020 Investment Banking Full-time Analyst Programme (London) at JPMorgan Chase. After a thorough review of your application, we regret to inform you that we are unable to move forward with your candidacy at this time.

    • 13
Jan 1, 2020

Disregard women, accquire capital.

You're gonna make it, bro.

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Jan 15, 2020

lever up

Jan 1, 2020

You dodged the bullet of getting married young (I assume you're around 30 given A2 rank) and marrying someone who's your age instead of 10+ years younger. Two bullets dodged. Sounds like you're having a great year so far.

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Jan 7, 2020

like 10+years younger girls are easy. they there for o ne thing, the money. good luck building a home with that

Jan 7, 2020

youre saying that changes when they get older?

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Funniest
Jan 1, 2020

Diversify the portfolio - I'm talking Latinas, Blacks, and Russian girls to get you started.

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Jan 3, 2020

Degenerate

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    • 4
Jan 3, 2020

Wahhhhhh

    • 1
Jan 3, 2020

Latinas?!....most fertile girls in the game....risky move

Jan 3, 2020

Wrap up

"The three most harmful addictions are heroin, carbohydrates, and a monthly salary." - Nassim Taleb

Jan 1, 2020

Success is the best revenge.

Array

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Jan 5, 2020

Wouldn't recommend that mindset

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Jan 1, 2020

It sucks now. It may suck for a while and that's totally ok and normal. Chin up brah. You dodged a bullet and will be better for it. Hang in there and as others have said, focus on you. Work, friendships, family, hobbies etc.

Good Luck

    • 1
Jan 1, 2020

If you're in NYC let's grab beers and i'll cheer ya up

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  • Associate 2 in CB
Jan 2, 2020

Man that would've been nice and def appreciate the offer. Sadly I'm in DFW

Jan 2, 2020

I hear SMU is nice this time of year

    • 6
Jan 22, 2020

buy a brother a lap dance. Nothing cheers a dude up more than boobs in the face. It's a medical fact.

Jan 1, 2020

No reason to be upset for nothing. Improve yourself and accomplish your goals. Everything in life happens for a reason. Don't let this upset you no matter what. I have lost potential girls who would be my life. Everyday is a new day to improve yourself.

"It's okay, I'll see you on the other side"

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  • Intern in IB - Gen
Jan 1, 2020

Your girl dumped you and you turn to WSO as a source of comfort?

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  • Associate 2 in CB
Jan 1, 2020

Feel like that's partially the point of online communities. Acknowledged in the post that it was kinda whack tho. Like I said - needed to just vent something somewhere. I get your pov tho

    • 4
Jan 1, 2020

I don't think OP should be shamed for asking for advice at WSO. There will be some opinions that are favorable and not favorable. No need to shame OP for posting about this issue. I would be willing to answer question about life, finance, or any other issue people have in life.

"It's okay, I'll see you on the other side"

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Jan 2, 2020
Intern in IB - Gen:

Your girl dumped you and you turn to WSO as a source of comfort?

So you:

  1. Went on WSO
  2. Clicked on a thread you knew you wouldn't be interested in
  3. Read through said thread that confirmed you weren't interested in it
  4. Then switched your account to be an anonymous intern in IB
  5. Then commented to show your disinterest

Excellent logic

"The three most harmful addictions are heroin, carbohydrates, and a monthly salary." - Nassim Taleb

    • 22
Jan 1, 2020

My gf in high school broke up with me at prom, life can be rough. Just focus on yourself and something great will come along.

    • 1
Jan 1, 2020

That's hilarious

Gun rights activist
    • 7
Jan 2, 2020

Yeah I was blazed as shit at the time so I didn't really comprehend it until later. Ended up being for the better though.

    • 2
Jan 1, 2020

Besides what others have advised, see the bright side:

She is late 20s and about to hit "the wall". She is going to be insane when she hits her mid-30s, is still childless, and realizes that she threw your relationship away while her career remains unfulfilling.

Get a new rebound chick. That's all you can and should do. Also, never let her back into your life again.

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Jan 7, 2020

the wall? good luck with that mindset. new flash, women do not care anymore.

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Jan 14, 2020

Oh....women care. Women under 30 just don't believe it, like "It won't happen to me". But it does. I've seen it.

Just like young kids thinking, "I'll never get old", you will.

Jan 1, 2020

'Listen, nothing I'm going to say is going to make you feel any better. It's just going to suck for a while and then you'll be fine.'

Jan 2, 2020
SheenLegs:

'Listen, nothing I'm going to say is going to make you feel any better. It's just going to suck for a while and then you'll be fine.'

The real takeaway is buying an Aston Martin helps with self reflecting

"The three most harmful addictions are heroin, carbohydrates, and a monthly salary." - Nassim Taleb

    • 2
Jan 2, 2020

Just swing down to that dealership between Laguna and Newport and find one you like

    • 1
Jan 1, 2020

At least it only cost you temporary hurt and your not staying in a small apartment with a weird roommate while paying for a house you don't stay in anymore while a guy is banging her there and paying child support for kids you hardly see.

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Jan 2, 2020

thats... thats fucking dark

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Jan 2, 2020

We have all been there

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Jan 2, 2020

It could be worse...kids, a divorce, blah blah blah. You'll be fine in a month or two! :)

Jan 2, 2020

10 years from now, it's the best thing that's ever happened to you

Jan 2, 2020
Associate 2 in CB:

TLDR: 2020 is already trash - 2021 is gonna be my year

Just want to add (in addition to the great advice already given)- beware this mindset. If you believe this to be true then it will be. If you say that 2020 will be your year to excel and grow, then it will be. You were probably just pissed off and venting, but that mindset can become habitual if not properly taken care of.

"The three most harmful addictions are heroin, carbohydrates, and a monthly salary." - Nassim Taleb

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  • Associate 2 in CB
Jan 2, 2020

Was definitely just venting. But I agree speaking shit into existence is real.

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Jan 2, 2020

I feel you bruh. Similar story here /w my ex returning back to the US to go to Law School (live in London, UK). Echoing a lot of the above, four months later, in retrospect, I can assure you that I am/becoming better off.
Know that your future self will soon see why it was for the best, focus on yourself/your goals and development, take time to reflect and change or improve things if necessary and remain positive. Not saying everything happens for a reason, but though it's hard to lose a situation of comfort, you're most probably delaying the inevitable. No, distractions, 2020 is the year.

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Jan 2, 2020

+1 Mindset and mentality are so crucial, it is very under appreciated.

Jan 2, 2020

Cold blooded

  • Associate 2 in CB
Jan 2, 2020

Cold world no blanket mate

Jan 2, 2020

Two ways to look at it:

Should have put a ring on it (dated for 5+ years??)

OR

Good thing you didn't

Jan 2, 2020

Damn near a decade lowkey. But I mean I was focused on working and getting into the right position for a minute, financially, to be able to. And she was never 'ready' because like I said in the original post she feels like she has nothing career wise and wouldn't wanna jump into a marriage without feeling complete herself. So probably a good thing I didn't because internal turmoil usually manifest itself and ruins things. Like someone said above it was prob inevitable, so lowkey perfect timing ripping the bandaid off with a fresh start on the new year

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Jan 2, 2020
  1. Figured I would say fuck going Anon and just own it haha. So what up. 2. Appreciate all the positive input yall. Obviously this is a day by day week by week month by month thing but I appreciate the kind words. Echoing a lot of comments it's all about focusing on and improving self and current life status (#grindmode). Like I said in a post above feel like the hardest part is going to be being uncomfortable for a bit considering we've been at it since 2010 (we were off for a few years but consistently on for the most part).

But, what's nice is I've got a couple face to face breakfast/final interviews over the next month or so for new positions so my focus is going to be on that. As silly as it sounds nailing a new job I feel like will do wonders because it creates a natural 'new life/life shift' moment that creates what can feel like a fresh start. Ideally, use some of the signing bonus to take a nice solo trip abroad and come back locked in and ready to go.

Again, sincerely appreciate all the comments. I'm taking nuggets from everything that was said and using it.

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Jan 7, 2020

You're going to be at a networking event and see some hot analyst chick walk by and all will be forgotten.

...You're the lucky one because you can go up and talk to her. The rest of us are locked down. Enjoy it man.

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Jan 3, 2020

I'm sure there are many guys here who are wishing their gfs would break up with them.

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Jan 7, 2020

truth

Jan 13, 2020

Why though? If you're unhappy then leave.

"The three most harmful addictions are heroin, carbohydrates, and a monthly salary." - Nassim Taleb

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Jan 13, 2020

I wasn't talking about myself. It was more of what I see with most guys lol. I got 2 coworkers who forever keep saying I hate my gf and I don't want to go home to see her so we would be at the bar and they would drink like animals so they can just get themselves to go home. I've met a lot of "men" like that. So that's where I was coming from. I wouldn't waste a min of my life unhappy. Way I look at it just like how I don't spend money on things I don't like why would I waste my time with someone I can't stand.

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Jan 3, 2020

I am not sure if my previous comment got deleted, or simply a bug.

Basically, try to speak with the girl, if you've been together for 10 years, 'not feeling the spark' is definitely not the explanation. As you are no longer together, a few 'truth bombs' might come your way, but it can only benefit you if you reflect on it and use it in your next relationships. The other thing is to speak to family/friends who knew both of you. You might learn a thing or two for you/her/your relationship, which these people might've saved you for the sake of the relationship.

Reflect on it, crack on and never look back. You got it!

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Jan 4, 2020

Love is like the stock market. You have your ups, you have your downs, but in order to protect from a crash, you gotta diversify your portfolio!

Life's too short to smoke cheap cigars.
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Jan 5, 2020

Interesting, we all know
* the new-age girls that keep hooking up in their 20s then try to settle later. Some of them succeed, some of them don't but at least they got some short term fun at the potential expense of long term gain.
* the traditional long game girls that find some dude with potential early on that still doesn't have his shit together, he will remember she was there from the start and take care of her later. Short term struggle for long term gain.

Now welcome the latest degenerate evolutionary dead-end :
* She hangs out with the guy for all his 20s, then when he is starting to realize his potential and happens to be attached enough to her, while she has bad career prospects and starting to age, she dumps him.

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Jan 5, 2020

With the way you see things, you were made for trading.

Jan 6, 2020

Well done - appreciate the color on this

Jan 6, 2020

Now welcome the latest degenerate evolutionary dead-end :
* She hangs out with the guy for all his 20s, then when he is starting to realize his potential and happens to be attached enough to her, while she has bad career prospects and starting to age, she dumps him.

Makes you wonder if she was cheating and already had her next bf picked out?

Jan 7, 2020

does an ideal women look like a slave to you? she has to spend her youth with you because she saw your potential. new flash guys dump girls that stayed. with them during their 20s and marry another. woman are not doing that anymore. 10 years and she dumps him, he wasted her time and youth and she was not happy. men have to understand that women do not brake up abruptly, he has probably been ignoring the signs and thinking everything is ok, he got comfortable, when she was not alright. she reached her boiling point and broke up. I am sure she has been considering this relationship for at least a year.

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Jan 7, 2020

Valid input. I definitely have asked and done check in's so I don't think I was oblivious to the difficult of being together so long, especially w bits of it being distance. But sadly, there's prob some truth to your statement - somewhere in there. Appreciate the input/perspective.

Jan 5, 2020

Damn, breaking up with a college sweetheart on NYE must fucking suck, but IMO I think you dodged a bullet there. If she really was the one, then she wouldn't had have any doubts and would have tried to work it out with you while developing herself along the journey.

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Jan 6, 2020

I'm sorry--that's rough. Very cold-hearted of her.

I hear this a lot though, about folks who put off marriage/relationships/love/etc. because it's not the right time in their career development. Or something about seeking career fulfillment first.

In my view, this is quite a sad state of things. Working is not living, as convenient as it would be if we could align the two. I am happy doing my job, but in no philosophical or spiritual way does it "fulfill" me. Who ever wants it written on their tombstone: "He was fulfilled by his career"? If one is lucky enough to find love, it should always come first.

Your ex-GF's loss. Not yours.

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Jan 6, 2020

I agree 100%, who cares about some $hitty job in a cubicle somewhere that you hate. Work is work, and it usually doesn't get better. Most people out there work to live and not the other way around. A career will never be as fulfilling as a good relationship.

Just another day at the office...

Jan 7, 2020

too true. Still we should fight for more interesting work lives, don't you think?

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  • Analyst 2 in CorpDev
Jan 6, 2020

Go red pill. No fairytales, no heartbreaks, just life as is. Plenty of things to pursue out there that are way more fulfilling than a relationship.

Jan 7, 2020

going red pill pretty much means embracing not marrying, living solo, and banging chicks but never any LTRs, yes? Not disagreeing - just want to understand the philosophy.

  • Analyst 2 in CorpDev
Jan 8, 2020

Not necessarily. It means not subscribing to the romantic bs we've been marketed our whole lives and looking at male-female relationships from a point of realism. 90% of divorces are initiated by women in America, and if you think you found the special one just wait until you have a misfortune and all of a sudden you're at a lower income tier.

What you listed tends to be the natural outcomes that follow though when one gets redpilled. It's called MGTOW (man go their own way). I personally think marriage still has great purpose.

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Jan 7, 2020

dude, how is 2020 in the trash? Sounds like you just broke out of Shawshank. Embrace the opportunity! Go get laid!

    • 1
Jan 7, 2020

Bottles, maybe some models.

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  • Intern in IB - Gen
Jan 7, 2020

How is this thread still active?

    • 1
Jan 7, 2020

I had something similar happen to me on 2019 NYE except she ignored me the whole night and flirted with another guy. We were miserable for months though, and finally ending it made 2019 one of the best years of my life in terms of relationships and career. Spent a month in Europe between jobs, changed Coasts - the failure of the relationship will seem like it happened to someone else if you keep moving forward.

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Jan 7, 2020

2020 my boy year of the caribou!
run thru the caribou!

heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

https://arthuxtable.com/

Jan 13, 2020

Jesus Christ what an immature way to end things. I would be grateful that she didn't waste any more of your time. It hurts like hell at first and I totally understand that feeling like "what now?"
Well, now you can focus on you. All the time and effort you gave her in the past can now be put towards the grind. It's rough but really gotta love yourself and continue on your journey

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Jan 23, 2020

Hey no worry, I can give you one of my latino girls.. send me PM for photos and we will discuss.

Jan 28, 2020

Something similar happened to me last year. It just sucks for a while, nothing can help that... just find your support system (I called my parents every day for a few months), date casually (lots of great people out there that you haven't met yet!) and try to be excited about this next chapter.

    • 1
Jan 28, 2020

OP - we're almost a month into this. Have you hooked up with 2-3 women, lost 5 pounds of body weight while increasing your bench 25 pounds, improved your relationships with your family and friends, and thought about what's next in your career yet?

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Jan 28, 2020

TLDR: Getting Laid, Going to Barcelona, Got a new job, golfing a shit ton.

Lol quick update @CRE .

Been calling the parentals and my siblings more just to shoot the shit.

Got the job - gonna be a PM at a larger bank. Nice $ and signing bonus. Start in a few weeks so going over to Barcelona to meet up with this girl I passed on in B-School and hang for 8 days.

Got a nice little 2 girl pick and roll here stateside. Corporate Lawyer (who I met at a networking event s/o to @commercialrainmaker ) and Dentist. Which leads me to think maybe my ex's lack of motivation and lack of a real defined career path maybe unknowingly was something I didn't really vibe with.

Been hitting the gym but also got fully back into golf and prob have gone the twice a weekend since Jan 2.

Shit still hurts some random moments but I mean that's to be expected. But all in all I'm feeling good. And I def come back to this thread nearly every day (partially bc ppl still posting in here) but mainly to reread some of the words of affirmation. Did what the Anon Analyst 2 in IB said and took a pic with the date and legit told myself to man the fuck up and not be a pussy. Diversified my portfolio like @sixshooter69 suggested ones Arabic, one is black the other is Spanish/Catalonian. Even did what @justarandomperson2000 keep reinforcing and checked myself to see where I could have been better.

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Jan 28, 2020
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