GF won't stand up for herself
My gf works for a large global listed (this bit is important later) apparel/retail brand as a part timer in her last year of school. last week her store "manager" (some 24 year old fucking nobody) pulled her aside and said that she looked unapproachable and had a "resting bitch face" (among other objectively inappropriate, undeserved comments). btw everyone still wears a mask here so wtf LOL
my gf didn't say anything, and a couple days later ranted to her friends and myself
i told her she should have stood up for herself in the moment and even though it's over, she should make a formal report/complaint through the company's ethics/abuse website/hotline, and to directly address this in person with her manager the next time she goes to work
we ended up arguing about it because basically she is too scared to do it and she would rather bitch about it to uninvolved parties
what do
So let me see if I'm understanding this. You're telling the person that didn't stand up for themselves... To stand up for themselves.
Isn't that kind of like telling a person that isn't motivated... To be motivated?
You might need to help her develop the fundamental abilities to stand up for herself, not just tell her to do it. If it was as easy as "just do it" she would have already done it. She knows the problem, she knows the solution, but doesn't know how to get to the solution. Help her get there.
She is ranting because she doesn't feel comfortable having confrontation. So in the space she should feel comfortable and safe (ranting to you +friends), you've made it uncomfortable by forcing her to stand up for herself and argue with you. More confrontation she doesn't want.
The singular thing she doesn't want to do - stand up for herself - is the single thing she now has to do with you. Nice.
I hope you see what I'm getting at. Lmk if I can clarify.
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