Give up dating for recruiting?

Junior currently recruiting for FT positions in PE.

Dating life has been non-existent and have only seen girls casually for at most a month. I feel that that's worked out very well for me because I've never developed feelings for anyone that I've hooked up with.

Last month, I met this girl and saw her for a week. Spoke with her constantly throughout that time and we met up a couple of times.

I felt like I was really getting attached to her and couldn't focus on work / school / recruiting. Thought this could be a real problem if I continued to see her and messaged her to end things......the conversation didn't go well and I ended up getting blocked.

Felt bad next day and asked to see her, but she basically told me that it is over. It's been a few days and I really miss her, but I feel that it'll get better soon.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? Should I enter into a relationship at such an important time in my life? Am I just a coward? Is the sky blue? 

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Comments (34)

May 13, 2021 - 1:27pm

couldn't have been that wise if he couldnt spell cheque properly 

Array
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May 13, 2021 - 1:46pm

chumpchimp

couldn't have been that wise if he couldnt spell cheque properly 

You sound like a chump thinking your spelling is the only correct way.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

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May 13, 2021 - 1:49pm

MonopolyMoney

"Last month, I met this girl and saw her for a week. Spoke with her constantly throughout that time and we met up a couple of times."

That right there is your problem, you're probably too obsessive. I think you could handle both, but don't get so attached off the bat.

Yeah I agree. Best move would be to hold back and only give her a certain amount of time like maybe weekends or something if you're super busy. I dated a girl in college and we only saw each other on weekends and it worked out fine and I got mostly As and a FT offer.

Also, girls like it when you limit their time - they only want you more. Just don't shut the door completely on them.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

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May 13, 2021 - 2:23pm

Facts, she will be all over you if you can't see her during certain times because you're busy working towards your goals. My girl said one of the most attractive things when we first started dating was that I was super busy but still made time for her. Eventually, you'll need to get to the point where you're together every day, but at the start, giving the relationship some physical space does wonders towards her attraction towards you.

May 13, 2021 - 4:03pm

That's true man. 

It's funny cause I never really got attached to any girl I hooked up with before.

With her, though, it is completely different. I did not find her extremely attractive initially and didn't see a match in terms of personality either. When I tried to break it off, I thought it would be easy to get over her but have never been so wrong before.

But, it's not. Can't stop thinking about her and feel that I'm even worse off than when I was initially seeing her and not working as much. Also important to mention that we'll have to do LD once I move out for my job and I don't want to start something, especially the first time I do so, that might get even more complicated as time goes on due to distance.

Should I try to reach out to her to make things work or just forget about it?

May 13, 2021 - 2:38pm

Having a significant other is great when you need support in school or career.  Definitely helped me a ton.  If you give up dating for career people it will eventually show

  • Analyst 1 in IB - Ind
May 13, 2021 - 2:40pm

lmfao you're a retard bro, wait till you start work FT with no gf then see how you feel

i'm so fucking glad i found my gf before FT started - would kms otherwise

  • Intern in S&T - FI
May 13, 2021 - 3:42pm

Yes, unless you find a like-minded one. My friend's gf did his assignments for him throughout high school and university. Even did his pyschometric assessments when applying for summers (UK).

  • Analyst 1 in AM - Equities
May 13, 2021 - 7:46pm

your friend is actually incredibly lucky. I'm guessing he must have been way more attractive than her, because 99% of women would not do anything close to do this for other guys. 

  • Intern in S&T - FI
May 14, 2021 - 9:42am

He can definitely do better now, she used to be cute but has sort of let herself go in the past 1-2 years. But I would still recommend for him to stay with her, the value-add is just too much lol.

May 13, 2021 - 5:31pm

Lol a bit of a dramatic title, isn't it? How long will recruiting take, until you're 30? You have so much time to date and sleep around or whatever; having a stable job/career is much more important at your stage of life. You're literally just a Junior, the girls are going nowhere, trust me. And it's tough to date with this pandemic anyway

May 13, 2021 - 7:41pm

To be honest, you're very right. I am extremely obsessive and have always tried to use that to fulfill my goals. What I've ended up with, however, is an unsustainable way of living. 

Better to try and fix that sooner rather than later, I guess. 

May 13, 2021 - 7:41pm

I agree with the above but know that your obsessive nature isn't necessarily a bad thing. You just need to control it a bit more. I'm the same way. Give me a video game or lego set then I'll literally not sleep because of it. I was the same way when I met my wife, staying up til 2A and such. It's not a bad thing per se. I've gotten pay bumps at work and such by being obsessed about stuff. 
 

But finding balance is huge. If I just went all in on work, I'd make no time for my wife. The inverse, I'd get fired. I literally mark time on my calendar for nearly everything. If I'm not time boxed, I'll skip meals just to continue with something. 
 

Its a learning experience though. You've got time, don't sweat it. 

“The three most harmful addictions are heroin, carbohydrates, and a monthly salary.” - Nassim Taleb
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May 16, 2021 - 1:02pm

 If anyone sell chastity beltShut-up-and-take-my-money - La Domotique de Sarakha63

Excuse my French ! (and my English also)

May 16, 2021 - 1:00pm

I did the same mistake...

You should learn from your error and take a better consideration of your relationship with friends, family and girlfriends.

In my opinion you should understand that she left so easily that probably because she wasn't so much interested. 

And never forget that there is a lot of other girls, you were just beginning a relationship with her, so you probably idealize too much that girl... 

Excuse my French ! (and my English also)

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