Going to bschool to find a husband?
TLDR: got out of an emotionally abusive 8 year relationship, applied to bschool on a whim to "find a husband," got into a good school with $$, and am now deciding if I actually want to go make a career pivot/find a husband. Asking for advice or a list of points I should consider.
I recently got out of an 8 year relationship with the only boyfriend I've ever had. You can imagine what happened, the typical finance bro stuff: he tried controlling my career and telling me what I should do and not do; he spent his weekends sleeping with other girls while I spent several of my weekends helping him populate spreadsheets with names of alumni and LinkedIn links to help him recruit for buyside; I paid for more than half of the relationship since my base salary was $5k higher than his (even though his annual bonus was $50k higher than mine). By the time I finally put my foot down and told him he needed to settle down, he presented me with a long list of demands for the prenup, asked for my tax returns, etc.
Distraught over the past 8 years of my life and severely dismayed at the quality of men in the market, I decided to apply to a bunch of business schools on a whim, convinced I might be able to find someone better. Fast forward to Round 2, and I've gotten accepted into a school ranked between Kellogg and Darden on ~half tuition.
What should I do now? There's the original "find a husband" goal. I just want to find someone who makes more money than me, is older than me, is more than 4 inches taller than me (I'm 5' 3"), and won't sleep with other women because "all of my IB friends do and they'll ridicule me if I don't" or "my God forgives me, and if you don't accept Christianity then we shouldn't be together." Since I've only had one boyfriend, part of me thinks this type of bro behavior is normal and everyone in the Tinder age does this (esp. in finance), but the 'watches a lot of TV dramas and movies' side of me feels that my standards really aren't that high. I know that "I'm young," but after wasting 8 prime years of my life I want to just settle down and find someone of a high caliber (hence, business school). The men in my geographic area are not high quality. Trust me. Let's just leave it at that without revealing where I live. The other option is I could move to a high male:female ratio location like San Francisco and start over from there.
I'm also not sure how high the quality of men are at the school to which I was accepted, since it isn't a Harvard, Stanford, or Wharton. I went to an accepted students' happy hour, and all of the nice and cute guys were in a relationship. At some point, one guy in my "circle" of people I was talking with opening bragged that consulting resulted in numerous hookups across the country, and I was like....um, if you're representative of all of the guys in business school, I don't want to go anymore. Are men all super hookup driven in business school? Does nobody want a sincere, long term relationship?
From a career standpoint, I would want to pivot into investment banking post MBA. Since my ex went into finance, I wasn't allowed to also go into finance and had to do something else "to diversify the risk of our income streams." That being said, there are two main drawbacks to this. 1) I already make $125k a year at my 50 hours a week job, so it's going to be tough to walk away from that. I could easily find a $145k base salary job with a boutique management consulting company in two years, so it's not ROI positive. I also went to a top 20 undergrad, so my alumni network is already great. 2) Since I also do want to meet someone nice and settle down, IB might conflict with this personal goal. Even if I do meet a nice man in business school, I might lose him when I'm working 90+ hours a week at a BB. Post IB, I would want to go into PE or corp dev.
Should I go back to school? Should I not? Should I reapply next year and try really hard to get into HBS? Should I just move to California to find a husband in a way that still advances my career while avoiding a lot of debt? Should I just provide my tax returns and settle down?
what the fuck did i just read? woof.
My story. So what is your recommendation? I can't tell what you mean by woof.
you sound like a crazy person. also your goals don't really align - you want to find a husband yet you want to work in IB/PE? good luck lol
Oh baby yooooou! You got what I neeeed! But you say I'm just a friend. You say I'm just a friend.
Guys in business, or at least a lot of them, are pretty frat. Maybe move cities if you want and find someone, but not in business.
Hmm, fair.
What would possess you to ask this forum for advice on finding a husband?
Which forum would you recommend? I think that putting this on gmat club (location, scholarship amount, school, etc.) would be too much overlap with my existing profile.
You're in need of dating advice, not career advice. Plus, this site is overwhelmingly populated by young men who can only aspire to the level of douchiness you disdain. I don't know where to direct a woman for advice on how to meet high-caliber men making $125k+ and looking to settle down, but WSO ain't it.
Actually a decent amount of MBAs find their husband/wife in business school. Not that bad of a question.
If you go to bschool, your career should be the focus. What are you doing now? Where are you living/working? What do you really want to do (finance is not limited to IB)? Where do you want to live? Think about yourself, what you like doing and your goals/objectives first before going to Bschool to find a husband.
That part will come by itself, although I'd say you're more likely to find assholes at H/S/W than at a school like Tuck, Duke or UVA for example. But then, keep in mind that wherever you go on this planet, most guys are bad.
I'm currently lower/mid-level (3-4 years out) in a top 20 management consulting firm, living in a smaller city (non-NY/SF/etc.). I would ideally love to go into PE longer term, but it's hard making the pivot without IB experience if I'm not at a MBB (and I assume it would even be hard if I were).
That there are assholes at H/S/W is actually something that I've never considered or thought of before...what makes you say that?
And where would you like to live?
Simply because you'd find more arrogant / overly confident / selfish / controlling / crazy people in the kind of environment H/S/W offer, compared to tight-knit schools where teamwork and overall well-being is more valued than your own person.
I've graduated from both types of schools, the difference is definitely noticeable. But then again, you still find douches everywhere.
Just an FYI - it’s actually quite difficult to go to PE post-MBA without pre-MBA PE experience, even if you have IB and/or MBB experience. Your chances would be better at the HSW than MBA business schools">M7, and anything after that, but just be aware there aren’t that many post-MBA PE roles.
Having said that, if you’ve got a consulting background and not from / not have exposure to finance and transaction experience, an alternative to joining the investment teams of PE firms is looking at in-house strategy & operations teams. Again, it would be helpful to come from the top consulting shops for something like this.
This is b8, my fellow goys. 6/10 for the lengthy LARP effort, OP.
I'm afraid I don't understand your jargon, what are you recommending that I do in my situation?
I recommend becoming a Fk Girl!
But in all honesty - just move to a city to date. If you would like to break into Private Equity and possibly find a great individual you could go to Kelloggs. You'll get the best of both worlds in Evanston with Chicago less than 20 train ride away and your selection of MBA individuals.
Best of luck!
IMO and IME most things associated with being a female doesn't help transition into a higher role (exceptions being Forte Foundation, the Grace Hopper conference, etc.). Trying to avoid that route and "make it on my own" without any female programs. I know Kellogg is a consulting powerhouse, but I've never heard of it as a better than average setup for PE; would you be able to elaborate more?
I work in asset management and most our PE deal team is made up of Kellogg grads with no banking experience or former Bankers.
Many are dating or married but as all things go, stuff happens and it's whether your cash worthes it
You make my gender look bad
Why do I make your gender look bad? Do you date or are married to someone who makes less money than you and is shorter than you? I really don't think my standards are that high.
Gotta say, for those claiming troll, "your" gender might be Exhibit A.
Why do obvious and unfunny trolls like this get so many responses?
Your response insinuates that there's a clear and obvious solution for what I should do. Since I'm on this forum asking for advice and I obviously don't know what this clear and obvious solution for what I should do is, would you be able to elaborate?
Is this the equivalent of "Prestige of the Woman Your Dating" post? But for a man
You need to get your priorities straight.
I really hope you don't get into my B-School
Ooh, I'll have to go check that post out! Thanks for the referral.
What should my priorities be?
And easy solution - don't go to any school that is between a Kellogg and a Darden and there will be a 0% chance that we end up at the same school. Mainly considering that one given the $$ and ranking.
Obvious troll is obvious....6/10...but I will change to 8/10 for length of trolling.
lol
I actually found this an oddly entertaining read and I agree this is likely a troll, but I give it an A for effort. I just hope this isn't someone seeking real advice...
Again, same response as above: your response insinuates that there's a clear and obvious solution for what I should do. Since I'm on this forum asking for advice and I obviously don't know what this clear and obvious solution for what I should do is, would you be able to elaborate?
I just don't know why a troll would spend so much time typing up such a long post. The same goal would be accomplished by a much shorter thread.
pro-tip from a (non self proclaimed, generally agreed upon) womanizer.
^ just trust me on this.
Solid advice, would you mind (or be offended) if I PM-ed you for more advice on how to avoid someone like you?
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