Graduates: Do you keep in touch with friends from college? Why/Why not?

I'm set to graduate from my university in a week or so, and I can't help but think whether or not I will end up keeping in touch with all my great friends. On the surface, it sounds pretty easy to keep in touch with most of them.

A majority of my friends will live in NYC; when we make new friends we will introduce each others' new friends; we will have weekends off (except bankers) for the most part; and most of us will want to hang out with those they've grown to know as some of their best friends from college.

But I've been speaking with several graduates (1-3 years out), and they all say that location is not a factor - people just move on with their lives and end up 'losing contacts'. In fact, I've been told I'm lucky if I still keep in good contacts with 2-3 people, at most... WTF?

Graduates, please enlighten me on your experience with keeping in touch friends post-college. What about your high school friends? Why do you think people lose contact, and for those that do stay in touch, why so? Do you think that losing contacts with college/HS friends are for the better, or worse? Is it awkward or awesome when you catch up over coffee/lunch/dinner/hang-out?

 

You better, great for networking. And for having friends.

"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer "Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee
 

I'm still friends with kids from elementary school, high school, college and post-college. Of course the list thins but the people you are truly friends will remain so. It does take effort though. You have to reach out and actually call and hang out with people. Some friends I won't see for a year and its like we were hanging out again like it was yesterday. Its both a personality thing as well as effort. If its what you like and want you will do it.

 

I think it all really depends on who you want to keep in touch with and whether the feelings are mutual.

If you reach out to a person multiple times to catch up with them, and they never reach out to you, it's obvious that they don't really care for you.

If on the other hand, they reach out to you just as much as you reach out to them, then you know that the feelings are mutual.

 

Great responses - hope we can keep it going. I wish this would be on the front page of WSO...

Do you guys think that location has a lot to do with it? Or not really? All three grads people I've spoken with said even if all their friends were in NYC, they still wouldn't keep in touch. Sure, there's the proximity factor, but people will still not keep in contact. To what extent is this true?

If I'm going to be roommates with one of my best friends from college, and both of us work very long hours, will our relationship become more just saying hi/bye/how was your day kind of friendship? Hope that made sense..

 
TheBlueCheese:

Do you guys think that location has a lot to do with it? Or not really? All three grads people I've spoken with said even if all their friends were in NYC, they still wouldn't keep in touch. Sure, there's the proximity factor, but people will still not keep in contact. To what extent is this true?

Strange, location works best for me. Maybe they're not really good friends.

Texting back and forth counts, btw.

 

Obviously location helps but I'm still good friends with guys that live in separate cities. Not sure who you are talking to but they probably weren't really good friends to begin with (if anything that sounds really weird/abnormal based on what I have seen first and second hand). In a way it is a little weird that you need to be asking these questions and I don't mean that to be insulting. If you are good friends with people, lots of common interests, good bonds, etc. there is literally no reason you won't be friends unless you don't put in the effort. All my buddies from college, even though we don't all still live in the same city, still meet up for trips, bachelor parties, fantasy sports, etc. Yea you become more busy and don't hang out as often but if you are truly friends you will remain friends. Simple at that.

 

I am still close friends with a handful of people from highschool and a handful of people from college. I "stay in touch" with far more than that. Some people I stay in touch with I never imagined I would and some people I don't stay in touch with, who I always thought I would, surprises me - but that's life.

Also, oddly enough, almost all of my close friends are out of town. I have a couple here, but the rest are in Philly, Atlanta, Norfolk, Austin, South Korea, Mozambique...

It's mildly depressing

Commercial Real Estate Developer
 
CRE:

I am still close friends with a handful of people from highschool and a handful of people from college. I "stay in touch" with far more than that. Some people I stay in touch with I never imagined I would and some people I don't stay in touch with, who I always thought I would, surprises me - but that's life.

Also, oddly enough, almost all of my close friends are out of town. I have a couple here, but the rest are in Philly, Atlanta, Norfolk, Austin, South Korea, Mozambique...

It's mildly depressing

Basically the same except for the Mozambique, South Korea lol.. more like DC, San Fran, Boston.

No reason to have tons of friends, reminds me of the fraternities in college. Having super close relationships with a few friends is a lot more important than having acquantices with a bunch of people who you can't talk to anything about.

Frank Sinatra - "Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy."
 
Best Response

Well said thanks for the response. I just wanted to get everyone's thoughts because it's mildly depressing to hear graduates tell me that I will end up losing touch with most of my good friends. I want to assure that doesn't happen

yeahright:
CRE:

I am still close friends with a handful of people from highschool and a handful of people from college. I "stay in touch" with far more than that. Some people I stay in touch with I never imagined I would and some people I don't stay in touch with, who I always thought I would, surprises me - but that's life.
Also, oddly enough, almost all of my close friends are out of town. I have a couple here, but the rest are in Philly, Atlanta, Norfolk, Austin, South Korea, Mozambique...
It's mildly depressing

Basically the same except for the Mozambique, South Korea lol.. more like DC, San Fran, Boston.

No reason to have tons of friends, reminds me of the fraternities in college. Having super close relationships with a few friends is a lot more important than having acquantices with a bunch of people who you can't talk to anything about.

 

Im in the same position as you so keep that in mind. But i think its pretty easy to stay in touch with your real friends. I have friends from high school i see maybe twice a year but we still check up on each other now and then. It gets way more seldom that we see each other, people get heavily involved in relationships, get jobs, and rarely outside of the holidays is there an occasion we can all meet back in our HS town. Even holidays, people have parents that move, cant get off work, made other plans, etc. so theres some people i dont see but maybe once a year.

Long story short, you can still stay in touch especially if in the same city but it wont be as often. People move on with their lives and find new friends, but when i see my best friends from HS. Its like nothing ever changed and we have awesome conversations about how our lives are going. Makes me look forward to weddings/bachelor parties in the next few years

 

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