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Comments (40)

Funniest
Aug 3, 2018 - 4:35am

Yeah, how much can you really know before you've been in a fight? How do people even choose a career before getting in a fight? The people I went to HS with that ended up in fights at bars are some of the most self-aware, knowledgeable, mindful and zen people I know. They all went on to pursue careers in the metacognitive fields of deep psychoanalysis. Wasn't Freud also a MMA fighter back in the days?

Get the fuck outta here.

I don't know... Yeah. Almost definitely yes.

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Aug 3, 2018 - 4:50am

Sorry, I'm a bit salty this morning. I went long in SYMC prior to the earnings call.

To answer your question; never been in a fight. I've been punched in the face a couple of times at clubs, but that's about it.

I don't know... Yeah. Almost definitely yes.

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Aug 3, 2018 - 1:20pm

I've been in a couple fights. In one I was sticking up for my little brother, as someone my age (a couple years older) was messing with him.

The other fight was more of a jumping. My friend and I stopped by a party where we were invited by a couple of friends. We didn't know anyone other than the guys who invited us but stayed for a while anyway. As we were leaving the party, a drunk girl didn't want my friend to leave. She got in his way and eventually fell down as he was trying to get out of the door. She started wailing and saying that my friend hit her. As we were about 100 yards down the street my friend gets knocked onto the pavement from behind. I got the guy off of him but then I am quickly assaulted by 15-20 "tough guys" who didn't see the girl fall, only heard her crying coming out to protect her. My friend got up and ran away while I took the beating trying to defend him.

Even as a larger, in shape guy I realized that I'm certainly not invincible. Luckily I made it out with only a concussion. My face was so swollen after the incident that I had to have an X-Ray taken to make sure that my facial bones weren't shattered. I would have liked help from my friend but in the end there was nothing he could do after he got knocked down. The party cleared out to come after us and stepping in rather than running would have just resulted in two badly beaten kids rather than one.

Aug 3, 2018 - 2:17pm

I've been in a couple fights because I fought in MMA / Boxing to pay my way through university haha. Have I been in a street fight? Not since I eliminated bullying from my high school. It's not as easy as it looks on TV to put a man to sleep. The human body is very resilient and can absorb a lot of damage.

What concert costs 45 cents? 50 Cent feat. Nickelback.

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Aug 6, 2018 - 11:29am

I was coming back from a house party walking home a girl friend of mine who was pretty trashed. A group of three large drunk guys were walking in the opposite direction and one stumbled into her and literally ragdolled her into the street and then just kept on walking. One guy who was clearly sober was like sorry about my friend he's wasted and I basically said like alright well watch it. The guy who bumped into her for whatever reason just goes "you gonna do something about it?" I decided I wanted to do something about it and I punched him in the mouth. We went back and forth for a minute or so and it was going decently until one of the other guys hopped in and it was just down hill from there. They absolutely sorted me hahaha.

Aug 3, 2018 - 4:20pm

I drunkenly cleaved a guy with one of those Swiffer electric vacuums because he wanted to fight once.

"one for the money two for the better green 3 4-methylenedioxymethamphetamine" - M.F. Doom

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Aug 3, 2018 - 4:27pm

Got in one fight in highschool and plenty of drunk fights in my fraternity days. Kind of embarrassing looking back at it, but I've never been clocked in the face. That's a small victory.

Fighting in general is pretty dumb.

Commercial Real Estate Developer

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  • Anonymous Monkey
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Aug 3, 2018 - 10:00pm

Not really a fight but more like a scuffle on more than one occasion. Have multiple arrests for dumb ass scuffles because minorities are treated with a double standard by law enforcement. Had I been white, it more than likely would have been laughed off and forgiven.

Most Helpful
Aug 4, 2018 - 11:29pm

I got in two scuffles. Both in the East Village in NYC years ago.

One was in front of Manitoba's on Avenue B. My friend mentioned to some other guy that I trained MMA, which always is bad to hear someone else say about you at a bar. Well, this skinny dude starts screaming about how he could destroy everyone there and went to war and was golden gloves. Yeah. All of that. Then he looks at me and says 'you think you can take me?' I'm like, bro - 'you do you'. I try to dismantle this misplaced rage and craziness coming out of this guy and they end up leaving.

My friend and I chilled for 20 more minutes and as we got up to leave we walked outside Manitobas and three of them were waiting there to fight us. They weren't that big or intimidating, but one guy threw my friend into a corner and started wailing on him. I quickly put him in a rear naked choke that worked enough to get him off my friend. Then this midget looking dude that was bald and looked like a tall Verne Troyer started swinging and all this stupid stuff at me. I basically just palmed his forehead and then threw him on the ground. We were near traffic, so it was getting a bit sketchy. He came at me again and I gave him a hard cross right in his face. Then, he immediately sprinted off. I guess that was enough for him. Meanwhile, Mr. Veteran Golden Gloves is screaming in the street that he'd killed people in the middle east and this is nothing. Well, someone called an ambulance and they took him away. I had a cigarette with the bar owner. And a beer. My knees were scraped up, but thats about it.


Second scuffle was a bunch of BS. I sell modern art and was meeting a client in the East Village to sell a piece and left and it was 4am, headed back to my apt and was on 6th street, got a sub from Sunny and Annies and then wastedly walking back to my apartment, two guys jump me.

I was looking pretty geeky that night. Had on fake clear lenses (sunglasses to clear lenses at night) and a white collar shirt / jacket, and luckily ... jeans and chuck taylors.

I think I finished my sub and some bro ran on my right from behind and sucker punched me in the face. He knocked me out cold, straight up. I was a bit fuzzy and on the ground and felt people patting me down and they stole a gold ring (worth over a grand), my phone, and wallet.

Well lets be honest here, they stole my military school ring. These fuckers are going to die.

I saw them jump in a van cab, 15 feet in front of me. A pinhole of vision opens and then widens, enabling me to think and react to the situation. I jump in front of the van and put my hand up to the driver and say 'stop!!!!'. Then, I jumped in the front seat. I saw my wallet and phone on one guy's lap and just snatched them. He was so shocked he barely moved. The other guy, shocked as well was staring at me in the face. I said "give me back my fucking ring." He paused for a millisecond and then bolted. He just started running.

This fucker is going to die. Thats what I was thinking. I started chasing him down 6th street on C towards D. We were going through intersections and cars and it was sketchy as hell. Meanwhile, I'm in a blazer, running full speed with my chuck taylors saying 'I'm going to fuckkinggggg killlll youuuuuuuu" to this dude that just knocked me out. Just screaming. Then he takes a left on D at the sidewalk and I cut through the middle of the intersection and just tackled the shit out of this guy. I was fucking irate. I was pummeling him. He was on the ground and all I remember is thinking "kidney shot", "head shot", "kidney shot", "heat shot". I was thinking... not too many head shots because you don't want to get manslaughter for killing this person. Psycho right? Well I was so much in the red zone that I didn't notice a female cop was pulling on my shoulder trying to pull me off of this ... unconscious dude.

Ahhh that was a bad look. My hands were definitely bloody and he was not moving. I thought for sure I was getting arrested. Maybe not convicted, but was not looking forward to possibly going through the system. Well, she started asking questions and I told her that he assaulted me and robbed me and she asked what he took and I said my ring. She checked his pocket and sure enough my ring was there.

She held it on her pinky and I went to grab it, and she said "no, this is evidence." "How can you verify that this is yours?" Well, I just got my wallet back, so I showed her a photo ID that matched my name that was engraved on the ring.

They booked him, he went to jail. They called an ambulance for me, which I refused because I felt fine, but they made me go and later I had to file a report at the police station and then testify in front of a grand jury about the whole case. I think his priors in combination with this offense got him a couple years. They didn't find his friend.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

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Aug 5, 2018 - 6:11pm

I broke some kid's nose in middle school after his prolonged mental bullying of me graduated one day to him pushing me to the ground. I probably endured more bullying than the average person in middle school, but luckily I had a shitload of friends who constantly stuck up for me and put kids in their place when I wasn't in a position to do so. Fighting is retarded, but sometimes it's necessary when you're dealing with someone who insists on being aggressive.

Only other times I've been involved in physical altercations are: Once when a drunk retard randomly picked up a pool ball from the table I was playing on at a bar and tossed it at my face (thankfully missed); cracked the pool cue over his back and left. Second time was when I got jumped by a few bouncers about 25 feet from the entrance of some shitty bar. They threw my friend down a flight of stairs for no defensible reason, and he got scraped up pretty badly. Long story short, ended up getting sucker-punched by two of the power-tripping worthless scumbags on a public sidewalk; ended up walking away after the police said they couldn't do anything because they didn't witness it. Successfully sued the shit out of the bar for a pretty penny some time later thanks to video recorded by standbyers who watched the whole thing transpire.

I've never been an aggressive person and fighting is for baboon retards, but people who initiate physical confrontations deserve everything they inevitably have coming to them.

Aug 6, 2018 - 11:33am

I've been in about 6-7 fist fights. A couple without booze and a couple with booze. As you get older it isn't worth it and most people never take a beating and learn. But if I had to, I'd happily do it.

Aug 6, 2018 - 12:07pm

I also just remembered I got into another scuffle at a bar once after a guy grabbed my friends ass (who the fuck are these people that do this shit?). I'm noticing a recurring theme here that the women in my life get me into trouble. The funny part though is that I'd broken 2 ribs during rugby practice that week and so couldn't really throw a punch so I just wind back and crack this dude in the nose with my head. Split his shit wide open and he immediately was just like ok this kid doesn't care about his body, he is not scared to die, I'm going to leave.

Aug 6, 2018 - 12:34pm

I'm a Gen-X'er so I am from a generation where disagreements were handled with fists instead of guns/knives. Plus, I grew up down in the Carolinas so yes, I've been in more than a few fisticuffs. What did I learn? Well, I learned that if I led with my right, a left hook would usually connect.

In all honesty, the only fight I ever started is the only fight I ever lost. One of the best lessons of my life and I deserved to get my ass kicked. Otherwise, I only fought out of necessity when backed into a corner (either literally or figuratively).

I taught my boys how to fight yet inculcated into them the fact that they should only use what they'd learned if they were being physically attacked.

I do not advocate that fighting is the best way to handle ones disagreements but believe it is imperative that people be able to defend themselves.

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Aug 6, 2018 - 6:12pm

I used to get in fights all the time, no fault of mine either. I'd usually try to defuse but let's just say I'm a very easy target for racists. I did MMA/BJJ for a while so it usually worked out in my favor though. Plus helps that racists were usually completely shitfaced fucking idiots.

Aug 7, 2018 - 5:13pm

Only once, in middle school. Guy gave me a shove so I turned around and punched him in the face. Had a detention and that was it, the other guy had no punishment at all. I was livid.

Metal. Music. Life. www.headofmetal.com
Jul 17, 2020 - 5:10pm

Been in several but none ever got too bad on the giving or receiving end, won most, lost some too, but always knew when to quit.

Then I decided to have a "for fun" fight with one of my best friends where we meant to like pull punches if possible and not go for the face. He knew mma and got me to the ground so quickly and it totally changed my thoughts on this stuff and made me realize that even though I fought a bunch as a kid and had to be tough growing up, there are people out there that can absolutely fuck me up. I literally would not even have landed a punch and I'm a lot bigger than him too.

As an adult with a career, I never want to be in a street fight again. My appearance and professionalism is important to me and reflects outward on those I work with, and I don't want to do anything to tarnish that.

Dayman?
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Jul 17, 2020 - 6:01pm

only 2 years of delay between your answer and the question

Jul 17, 2020 - 5:33pm

In middle school and high school plenty of times. I learned fighting when I was really young though, like 6 or 7 learning the basics of boxing.

Beyond high school, no. There's really no reason for it unless you're in a really bad situation- which thankfully I haven't ever been in. Fights aren't like movies, even if you "win" you walk away with bruises and your hand hurts like a mofo. And especially over 18, odds are you can get arrested (even without going to jail, you still could spend a night or two there). Could fuck up your record, pay money in civil court. Not a good route to go

β€œThe three most harmful addictions are heroin, carbohydrates, and a monthly salary.” - Nassim Taleb
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Jul 17, 2020 - 5:43pm

I was a little bit of a wise ass in my youth (elementary and junior high school) and I pulled a chair out from under a kid who was much bigger than me. He was very embarrassed after he fell to the floor. He harassed me for about a week until I agreed to fight him. I landed one punch and then the fight was over. Despite being on the small side, I was a very good athlete and a great punch ball player.

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Jul 17, 2020 - 5:49pm

Two fist fights in middle school, and one instance in highschool where banter turned into anger pretty quick and I stood up and threw the dudes lunch at his face -- doesn't really count as a fight but was pretty funny and well deserved. Never learned to fight at the time my uncle used to just tell me to always throw the first punch and just stand your ground win or lose. I disagree with the whole "fighting is dumb" thing, if you like dudes pushing you around and making you their bitch then all the power to you.

Array

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Jul 19, 2020 - 12:01am

I'm not sure why I'd ever fight in the street.

Even if I'm getting punked I'm definitely going to tear the seam of my pants doing anything athletic, and when I'm standing above my bloodied and beaten opponent I'm not going to look like much of a champion with my nutsack hanging out.

Real Gs don't run from shit because they're wearing durable clothing

Jul 18, 2020 - 11:53pm

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Jul 31, 2021 - 8:57pm

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"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

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