How do I get pussy in college?

I spent most of my years in high school studying and worrying about college admissions. I was friendly with a few girls, but I never really took it too far. So obviously, I'm still a virgin. I'm a first year at a target school now and I would like to start smashing some poon once quarantine ends. Can some of the guys (or even the girls) on this forum give some advice? Should I aim for top shelf pussy (my ultimate goal) right away or should I start low and work my way up? Do I become friends with a girl first and then smash, or should I go to some college party and finesse my way in there? I'm a pretty good looking guy (don't mean to brag), but I see some very early signs of balding, so I would like to get some poon fast before my hair loss becomes noticeable. This is not a troll post. Thank you all very much for taking the time to educate the young clueless guys on here.

Comments (45)

 
  • Prospect in IB-M&A
Feb 22, 2021 - 7:02pm

Ok but I'm thinking of the social dynamics right before it happens. How does it play out? Let's say I find a girl who I genuinely like and befriend her. How do I take it to the next level? And what if I want to smash some rando I just met at a party? How would that work?

 
Feb 22, 2021 - 7:30pm

 

befriend her

If you're looking for friends, make friends. If you wanna date her, ask her out. If you wanna fuck her, ask her out or ask her to an event. Make your intentions know up-front. Ddues come through thinking they're gonna trick a chick into falling for them and shit bro she don't want that slow beta shit. You gonna be spending 2 hours on AIM with her listening to her tell you about how hard that dude she met yesteday railed her

And start smokign weed. If she smoke you poke. Stoner chicks love dick

heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

https://arthuxtable.com/
  • 1
 
Feb 22, 2021 - 7:26pm

Basically the same as PE recruiting... you really need to get started in high school to be successful. How could I even give advice to someone who didn't have the initiative to smash at least 1 chick in HS?

 
  • Prospect in IB-M&A
Feb 22, 2021 - 8:08pm

(OP here) Nah man, I'm sure there are plenty of virgins in HS who would have no trouble. I just never put myself out there, but I'm sure I could figure it out now.

 
  • Analyst 1 in IB - Gen
Feb 22, 2021 - 7:27pm

Work out and get on some dating apps. Most importantly. don't make it a focus. The only two types of guys who can't get laid in college are people who a) don't put themselves out at all or b) try too hard and reek of desperation

 
Feb 22, 2021 - 8:04pm

-

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

  • 1
 
Feb 22, 2021 - 8:55pm

Dorm floor is the easiest. Become best friends with the girls there. Party with them. Study with them. Eat with them. Hang out with them in their rooms. "Cuddle" with them when you get the chance. All of this will lead you to smashing 

 
Most Helpful
Feb 22, 2021 - 9:06pm

No need to repeat yourself. You already said "smashing poon" so we know you are a virgin.

That being said...you have come to the right place.

Yes. Like the above poster said, the short answer is just be a chad. But let me take a shot at giving you the color you need to "smash poon." 

Disclaimer: This is my personal guide on how to "smash poon." If you want to find a wife or find this offensive, find a different guide or don't read it.

 

How to get Bitches

by BallsOnChinBoy

 

Step 1: The Setup

"WoMeN aRe cOmPliCaTeD" - Some SIMP

Turns out women are simpletons. Their smaller brains make them incredibly predictable. There are entire fields of study dedicated to understanding just exactly how women go about selecting their mates. We won't go into the extensive research of female hypergamy but to sum it up, women want to fuck the guy at top of the hierarchy.

Now...How do women sort males?

A topic of much debate, (see resesarch by Caldwell, Dickermann or Barber) but usually young women in particular seem to sort men by 3 common categories; ability to generate value (usually income), education, and social status. College is a special time because two of those three important filters are fixed among all potential mates. Income and education are usually locked. College girls rely HEAVILY on social status to select mates. Being able to say you are apart of an exclusive social club is usually a lock for "smashing poon" at some point. Take a quick mental sample of the first thing a college female asks you when you meet her. It will almost always be a question to sort you by social status. The question will not be "where are you from?" or "what do you like to do for fun?" because these questions don't help them sort you. A female out of college in the real world is much more likely to ask "what do you do?" to quickly assess income and education but college girls know (subconsciously) that at this point, that question is useless. 

What does this mean for you?

It means don't put yourself into situations where you aren't at the top of the hierarchy with girls you want to fuck.

For example: If you want to play an intermural sport but you know an attractive girl you want to fuck will be at that games, unless you are really good, don't participate. If you want to fuck a big brain smart girl in your class, make she knows you are smarter than the other people in class (including her).

How do I select my friends?

It is a common misconception that you need to be "the alpha male" or "the most Chad tier" guy in your friend group. You don't! The alpha of your group will usually fuck the hottest chick (the Stacey) in the girls group. But if you are happy with the 3rd or 4th hottest chick in a group that's okay! Same goes the other way around. If you are hanging out with spencers (not Chads) and you are the only Chad, the overall attractiveness of the female groups you hang out with will be lower but you will probably land the best one, and that can be just as good. 

What else can you do?

Participate in exclusive activities. Invite only events whether it is a party, honors society, or recruiting event this will push you up hierarchies. Join a social club, the most exclusive one you can find.

If you are trying to reach for a girl out of your league - DO NOT BE NICE TO HER. Unless you have her locked in or she "has a history with bad boys that she will surely change for your SIMPING ass" then being nice immediately pushes you down the list. This doesn't mean you need to overtly be an asshole but make sure girls you want to fuck feel just a tad insecure around you. Nice guys finish last when it comes to "smashing poon." 

 

Step 2: Finding a target

"Wow Balls, now that I understand the setup, what is next?"

This is arguably the most important step. Even if you fuck up steps 1 & 3 you can still smash some puss if you do step 2 correctly. If you have done step 1 correctly, step 2 will just happen naturally, let Darwin do his thing. Here are your 3 likely female interaction scenarios:

 

The Date:

This is for SIMPs. Jk. If you like a chick as more than a bounce pad then yes, you can be nice and go on dates and be exclusive. If you want to do this then your target criteria is going to include "things you want in a spouse." It's where most of us end up eventually, myself included, but you said you want to "smash poon" so on to the real stuff...

 

The Party:

This scenario is going to be pretty common in your upper classman years and maybe during your underclassman years. You and the boys are going to a party and chicks will be there. These are uniquely special scenarios for non committal sex. For the most part everyone is there to get drunk and usually a lot of people are down to have some sort of physical interaction with the opposite sex. Now, how do you make sure that interaction is sex? Well here we want to look for indicators! Remember, the goal is to smash poon. Identifying a target properly can make all the difference cum 1 or 2 am. Since parties are usually loud and chaotic, using conversational indicators can be much harder than the "hangout" situation described below. Physical indicators are key in "the party" scenario.

How revealing is the outfit? - More revealing means "I want to get tagged" more. 

Are they drinking beer or liquor? - This could be drink preference but usually the higher the alcohol content, the more they want to get filet'ed. 

Do they have any tattoos and where are they? - See my first comment ever for more details but basically the more tattoos, the more bodies. Wrist, ribcage (ask for head), and foot are all fine. Stay away from thigh tattoos, tramp stamps, and girls that wear fish hooks in baseball caps. 

Finding girls that have reputations can also be an efficient use of time as you already know they let guys lay pipe. 

In "the party" scenario you just need to be present and drunk at the same time. Then try making moves on enough girls, the less the better your targeting, and you can be successful. These scenarios can result in a successful fuck a good percentage of the time but a more common scenario, and one that might pay repeat dividends, is.. the hangout...

 

The Hangout:

It's a Friday night and you are out on the prowl. You had a ruff week at school and you and the boys want to get drunk and get some ass. Someone finds a way to convince girls (probably a routine friend group) to hang out with you guys and now you have a chance. Once you meet up with females you need to find a target. I like to spend an hour or so letting the sorting happen (if it hasn't already). The girls will ask the predictable sorting questions and then the foreplay begins. The first 25% of the night you need to find your girl and start listening to her bullshit. Keep asking her questions and she will likely keep talking. Next, ghost her (but watch her) for the middle 50% of the night. During this 50% of the night talk to other people but occasionally make eye contact. Make sure she doesn't get too flirty with someone else that is LESS Chad than you. Also, at any point in Q1-Q3, make sure you had some sort of physical contact. This could be a greeting hug or an accidental rub as you walk past. Come in during Q4 of the night for the close. During this stage you need to try and isolate her and have overtly physical interaction. This could be a kiss but doesn't have to be. Can also just be talking very closely, handsy, anything that isn't just "incidental" contact. Finally you need to make some sort of move to remove both of you from the group setting. "Oh I left XYZ at the last place, want to come with me?" or "Damn I could go for a dessert too, lets go to XYZ!" If you have played your cards right she will be confident leaving the group with you if its late enough. After that its step 3...

 

Step 3: Doing the deed

You have successfully gotten a girl alone and you plan on having consensual pre-marital sex. This part is the easiest. Most of it will come naturally and if you have watched any amount of amateur porn you will know what to do. Here if the girl is experienced and takes the lead, GREAT! Just sit there and get your little pecker wet. If not then you need to take the lead and make her feel confident. This is different than some of the early steps where you were playing hard to get or bad boy. You need to get her confident or the sex might suck. 

Telling her how pretty/hawt she is, turning the lights off, or 2nd/3rd base activity is a great way to do this. Making sure to incorporate a little fingering early on will give you other indicators as well that you can use to make the sex better for her. If the snatch feels really hairy then I wouldn't try and eat her out. 1) because you probably won't like it and 2) she probably isn't comfortable with you down in hedge. If she is really into the fingering that is usually good because she will be nice and wet when you put it in. 

Use any information you have on her sexual history during sex to make decisions. Guys are horny AF and will do almost anything but for girls be careful going more than 1 step past what she has previously done. A couple examples:

 - If she has only done missionary then don't try reverse cowgirl or a 69. It will probably make her uncomfortable even if she says yes. If she is uncomfortable then she might not enjoy the sex and you lose street cred, not good. Here I would suggest doggy style or her on top instead. 

 - If hasn't had a guy eat her clam, don't try and eat ass. Never met a girl that had her ass ate before her cooter. 

 - If she hasn't had cum splash on her face, don't ask her to swallow. 

Sometimes you might get lucky and violate one of these rules and get a yes but it is my opinion that in the long run this could be harmful to your poon smashing adventures. If she says yes then she feels like she can only be an extra dirty whore with you and then might want to date...fuck that you just wanted a couple bones. If she says no, then things can get real awkward and she might tell her friends that the sex was bad. I guess you want to have a mutual respect for boundaries, even when she doesn't mention them.  

Other tips:

 - Always bring a condom. Just in case... you don't want to not get any because you weren't prepared. 

 - Always try to go in raw first. It is on them to make sure you have and use a condom. 

 - Always pull out. If you go in raw you want to make sure and shoot the cum on her because obviously you don't want a fuckin kid. If you make a lot of money then screw it. For every 10 Spencers that gets "led on" we need a Chad to be printing single mothers. 

If she is at your place let her spend the night and if you are at her place go with the flow and try to feel out if she wants you to stay or not. She probably does. The morning after is SUPER IMPORTANT and a lot of guys fuck this part up. If you get her breakfast or coffee this will pay DIVIDENDS, guaranteed. Don't ask her on a fuckin breakfast date, just say "wow I'm hungry, I could go for some XYZ" and feel out if she wants to jump in. If she thinks its too forward and that you like her, she will quickly forget it when you try and fuck her friend next week. If she doesn't think that... the chance you earn a positive reputation goes wayyy up.

As the male you need to do 3 things, 1) make sure you leave on positive terms. Do not do anything assholish to fuck up a potential repeat fuck. 2) Make her feel like less of a whore. Virtually all women wake up feeling a bit like a slut, even if it's just a little, after they let some guy blow their load on or in them that isn't their significant other. (If you can tell they don't feel this way at all then you need to get tested for STDs.) You need to re-iterate that you had fun and hope you two get the chance to hang out again. 3) Dodge any "dating" conversations. If you have smashed the same girl a couple times this can happen. You can be an asshole, lead her on and keep railing her, but I would just be a man and be confident in your skills. Ditch her if you want and move on. 

 

TLDR: Women are simple and smashing them is a science just like anything else. 

Good luck Chad, please return to tell us of your poon smashing adventures. 

 
Feb 22, 2021 - 9:06pm

better see this in the best of 2021 thread

"one for the money two for the better green 3 4-methylenedioxymethamphetamine" - M.F. Doom
 
Feb 22, 2021 - 9:06pm

Lol do not plan anything out like this. It's insane to put this much effort in something as straightforward as sex in college. The more you think about it the harder it becomes. There's probably trillions of sex acts in the world each year, you don't need an elaborate plan, you need to not reek of desperation which means not putting it on a pedestal. 

Array
 
  • Prospect in IB-M&A
Feb 22, 2021 - 9:06pm

Yeah, I agree that if you follow BallsOnChinBoy's advice word for word, you would seem stilted and awkward and no girl would touch you. But I think the gist of it is true. For the most part, you have to seem confident and on top of the hierarchy to get the best pussy,

 
  • Intern in Consulting
Feb 22, 2021 - 9:06pm

Legit question- You say that chicks who drink more want to get laid more, but all I hear from the crazy SJW's at my school is that if a woman has had any alcohol content, it is rape.  I'm worried I'm going to wind up banging some chick who the next day says something like "I was too drunk... etc." There are so many SJW's at my school who feel 'empowered' by accusing men of assault (My one friend got head from a girl, but she apparently was 'assaulted' even though SHE was  the one who gave him head).  And obviously I don't want to make someone uncomfortable because assault is a common issue.  How drunk is too drunk, in your opinion?

 
  • Intern in IB - Restr
Feb 22, 2021 - 9:06pm

Well for one, don't try to bring home any SJW's....that's just asking for trouble. 

Most girls are well aware of their actions and are just out drinking to have fun like everyone else. Don't be dumb and use your best judgement. If she is falling over/can't walk straight, slurring most of her words, vomiting, etc., then she is probably too drunk and its not worth your trouble. Move on to a different girl. 

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