How do you approach finances with your SO / (future) spouse?

Do you combine accounts or keep them separate? If you keep them separate, how do you decide who pays for what? Was there a meaningful disparity in wealth / income when you guys had the conversation, and how did that impact things?

 
Most Helpful

There was another thread about this a month or so ago, so I would check that. Quick recap of how we handled it:

1) we contribute 50% of our compensation into a joint account and keep the other 50% separate

2) our joint account pays for all joint expenses (mortgage, groceries, trips, etc) - if needed we add more to that account (nice trip, etc)

3) we agree on annual savings goals outside of the 50% we contribute (to pay done mortgage or invest) but we mostly handle our money throughout the year separately (although to be honest almost all expenses come out of the 50% joint)

4) our annual comp is pretty similar (mine a bit more vol)

5) she had more wealth coming into the relationship so that is separate (we each have separate 401k and everything we had before is separate)

This mostly works because we both have good jobs and reasonable savings so aren’t arguing over how to make this work. 

 

Conservative man here, but damn your post history makes you a joke.

 

Are you for real? 

On a related note, I know a couple who were engaged but broke up because the man wanted all his wifes money in his account and he wouldn't have it any other way. She was a docter and outearned him by a lot (he was an army captain or something). He also wanted his father-in-law to buy him a car and a house as wedding gifts. Just a funny (sad and embarrasing really) story.

 

My wife's a teacher. We have our own accounts. I keep all the money I make in my own account. I handle the stock and real estate investing, mortgage payment, any bills related to the house (gas/electric/water), pay for and coordinate any work that needs to be done on the house, pay for both car notes.. I think that's it. She keeps all the money she makes in her own account. She pays for and does all the grocery shopping, anything from Costco (which you guys know can be big bills sometimes), gas for both cars because she takes my car to Costco to fill up when I'm low and her mom works at Costco so her kids get cards for free, if we go on vacation or any trip, she plans and pays for everything, most baby shit she buys and pays for, any medical bills she pays.

I run a property management company, so it only makes sense I just handle all the house shit. I hate logistics. I hate dealing with doctors. I hate driving. I hate stores and crowded/loud places. So basically she just handles and pays for all the shit I don't wanna do. We never really had like a sit down talk about it. It kinda just works out.

heister: Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad. https://arthuxtable.com/
 

GoldenCinderblock

she just handles and pays for all the shit I don't wanna do. We never really had like a sit down talk about it. It kinda just works out.

nice goldie

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

Actually pretty surprised at the above comments. Do you all have bullet proof prenups? Even then i hope all of you realize unless you've got some complex living trust situation going on, having separate bank accounts is only in name and does nothing in the spirit of an actual marriage contract. This is especially true if you have kids. You might as well combine them as they're going to be combined in event of a divorce anyhow.

 

If speaking of my arrangement:

We have an agreements on all pre marital assets (standard)

As for why we still have separate accounts, two things: 1) if anything were to happen we agreed it would be a cleaner break to just walk away with our accounts (although legally that may not be possible if one side decides to go crazy) and 2) it allows us to manage “our” money however we want (go on trip with friends, buy a gift, etc). Ultimately, legally it may not stand (easy to contest this if one side wants to), but since we both make such similar incomes the issue would really only come into play if one was spending like crazy then wanted to take half of what was left, and I’m not too worried about that. 

As for kids, that introduces much more complexity. 

 

Sometimes it is just easier to maintain separate accounts alongside a joint one. If you are each bringing in $15-20k a month and have similar spending habits, you can diversify investments with the leftover based on your own investing philosophies. One likes crypto and SPACs, one likes tech stocks. Win-win

 

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Be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes.

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