Comments (81)

  • VP in PE - LBOs
Nov 30, 2021 - 9:45pm

I just tell em I work at a branch. Doesn't matter. Lay is a lay.

Once you're done with the deed, proceed to explain you're in fact a wealthy international businessman. Round 2 same night here we go.

  • Associate 3 in PE - LBOs
Dec 3, 2021 - 11:05am

This. I tell girls at bars that I'm a hostage negotiator or amateur arms dealer... It's a much more memorable answer than any of the last five that she's heard. Plus I get a kick out of it. If she asks again, I'll just say finance. If we end up linking up pretty often, then I'll explain it really simply -> "I basically flip houses but instead of houses it's small healthcare companies. We buy so-so companies, improve them, and then sell them which is my dating strategy also. Really like those 'fixer uppers.'"

  • Intern in IB - Gen
Nov 30, 2021 - 9:54pm

Honestly dude, if a girl is genuinely interested, just say you help companies go public. If she really want's to hear about spacs in-depth, she probably has some financial knowledge already

Nov 30, 2021 - 9:50pm

You sell companies to other companies or investors and take a commission. But also don't explain to them it's useless

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  • 3
Nov 30, 2021 - 10:21pm

Honestly I wouldn't unless I'm asked about it. If you are asked about it just say you advise companies in their big strategic events like IPOs, M&A, Debt raising so they can grow and do it optimally. Another way to say it is that you are doing what real estate agents do when selling houses, but with entire companies and on a larger scale.

  • Analyst 1 in IB-M&A
Nov 30, 2021 - 11:49pm

Just say you're like a real estate but for companies- easiest way for someone not in finance to understand

Dec 1, 2021 - 12:25am

I have a Google Docs explaining every high finance job including IBD and it's subsects (RX, M&A, Coverage, ECM, DCM), S&T, ER, AM, PWM, HF and a tier list/ranking of EBs, BBs, AMs, HFs, PE MFs, PE MMs, IBD MMs, PE boutiques, IBD boutiques, M&A league tables for each country, RX league tables for each country, what a DCF, LBO model is, etc.

It's 67 pages and took me 30 hours to make. I also quiz prospective "wifeys" on it.

  • Analyst 1 in IB - Gen
Dec 1, 2021 - 12:38pm

Nothing weird about that.. but when you unironically show that .xlsx file to a romantic / sexual interest? Yikes. 

Dec 1, 2021 - 1:44am

Only if you are NYC, and why would you do that. Move to a LCOL city, the talent pool is not nearly as deep but you are skimming the top of the top. (I am actually married for 8 years and have no idea what are y'all talking about)

Dec 2, 2021 - 1:12pm

I just say I help companies raise money or help people sell their companies. You could also say you help companies find financial solutions to solve problems or start new projects.

I think I did this right

Dec 2, 2021 - 3:50pm

Only give one word answers about anything job-related and switch subjects. No one outside of the industry will be interested in pressing further. Talking about work in a social setting is the least interesting you could possibly be to a woman or to anyone for that matter (it reminds me of the Office scene below; don't be a Stanley or Oscar.)

Stanley: I didn't think the premium laser color copy batch would sell as well as it did.
Oscar: Yeah, it surprised us all. I'll tell you why. Because when they-
Kelly: I'm sorry guys; can we please not talk about paper? There's gotta be something else we can talk about.

  • Prospect in RE - Comm
Dec 3, 2021 - 2:17am

Just say you buy and sell companies everyday, and get to go out with executives for fancy dinners, all while being paid a fuck ton of money. The simple answer of, "God's work" works too tbh.

  • Analyst 1 in IB-M&A
Dec 3, 2021 - 8:29am

Tell them the truth. You are an overpaid blue collar worker that wasn't entrepreneurial enough to take risk and start your own company. You get paid well but when you calculate $/hr/ unit of stress, that ratio is incredibly bad. 

  • Analyst 1 in RE - Comm
Dec 3, 2021 - 12:49pm

I just say "I work in finance, boring stuff". You don't want a girl who's super impressed by your job title

Dec 3, 2021 - 1:58pm

If somebody asks what I do, I initially just tell them I work in finance. If they dig deeper, I tell them I work in investment banking. If they ask what I do as an investment banker, I tell them I'm a real estate agent for companies. I will determine how much the company is worth, develop materials to market the company to potential buyers, contact the potential buyers, create a competitive auction process, and eventually select a winning bidder and close the deal. 

Dec 3, 2021 - 7:26pm

I usually tell them I'm a plumber, and then tell them they look like they like to be choked.

Really lets you know who's actually interested

"one for the money two for the better green 3 4-methylenedioxymethamphetamine" - M.F. Doom

  • Analyst 2 in IB - Cov
Dec 4, 2021 - 10:23pm

Female here. I almost never say Investment banking first unless they keep asking for details. I start with: finance > banking > investment banking > my industry > eventually if they keep asking I say we raise capital for companies or help them with acquisitions or going public. Maybe girls would be impressed if you are in NYC but if you are in the west coast like me, people think you're fucking crazy with no life so I try to stay away from that topic

Dec 5, 2021 - 12:48pm

I usually just say finance or banking and then try to change the subject as I think most girls dont give a shit about the details of my job. Some might care that I wear a suit sometimes and make decent money but not really what its like to make a strat alts deck or whatever

A few girls try to dig deeper. Maybe because they work in finance or a related field. A few because I think they are actually interested in what I do on a day to day basis. I think one asked me just so I could talk more and she could say to her friends that she went out with some finance bro who talked about his job for awhile...like she wanted me to fit the stereotypical bad finance date meme (kind of weird and needless to say I didn't really contact her again or like her)

Dec 5, 2021 - 12:52pm

One time I was shopping and this girl (not someone who I think was interested in dating me tbh) asked me what I did

I said banking

She said "Oh wow, that's really impressive....not too many ppl would admit thats what they do in this political climate"

Just goes to show the vast majority don't really care

On the other hand, one time an elderly cashier asked me what I did and I told her banking. She said "Which bank"

I answered and she said "That's a great bank. They are top notch in [insert sector]. Seems like you are doing well"

I thought holy shit, how does she know that

Dec 6, 2021 - 4:20pm

My wife and even parents still think I'm basically an accountant or some shit. It helps me because no one asks me for money.

Most people don't know what leverage buy-outs are. Most people don't really know what an investment banker does other "MonEY"

Imo keep it to yourself because no one is impressed besides the interns and college kids blowing up LinkedIn for coffee to "pick my brain"

  • Analyst 2 in IB - CB
Dec 6, 2021 - 8:55pm

Usually just tell people how it is.. I work in corporate banking and invest into gold and silver mining companies with debt. then move on to another topic as fast as possible. Also like to wear my red tint 12k gold sunglasses with my shirt two buttons down and tell girls I'm a Russian arms dealer. The latter usually gets better reception. 

  • Prospect in IB - Cov
Dec 7, 2021 - 10:06am

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Dec 7, 2021 - 12:36pm

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  • Incoming Analyst in IB - Gen
Dec 7, 2021 - 7:58pm

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