How many previous partners would you ding a potential girlfriend for having?


Assuming the girl is around 22 and just out of college, how many people would her having had sex with be a dealbreaker?

Comments (82)

Most Helpful
May 3, 2019 - 2:18pm

Putting exact number limits on things like this is dumb and pretty immature. What if 5 is your limit and you've met the girl of your dreams who has been with 6 guys? How will you ever know anyhow? Are you counting blowjobs in this? Is it "better" if she's only been with two guys but the second dated her for 6 years and they had sex every other day? All of it's a bit silly and, frankly, the less you think of your girl banging other dudes the better.

It's hard enough finding the right person. Obviously no one wants to marry the town slut, but just play it by ear. If she tells you and you instinctively hate it, the number is probably too high for you. If she tells you and you're relatively ok with it, just go with it.

Life isn't about exact numbers

Commercial Real Estate Developer

May 3, 2019 - 2:36pm

Yeah this is definitely accurate. I will say though, I've hooked up with a couple of girls that were at 10+ and know a good amount of girls that are at 10+. They are all pretty damn unstable, even the ones who don't show it right away. One of them I told I didn't wanna hook up that night because I was having a guys night with friends and she was cool with it. 2 hours later she calls my crying outside of my apartment asking me why I don't find her attractive anymore.

Jun 4, 2019 - 11:45pm

Been through variations of that few times as well and agreed. They're usually the type that'll ask you "so... how many people have you been with and when was the last time you got some action?" within 10min of meeting you. Cut losses quickly if you're looking for anything even remotely serious. I personally don't care to have a number, but I can't stand the baggage and ups & downs that comes with someone who has been around a lot. And if I do subconsciously have a number, it's def higher than 10...

May 3, 2019 - 3:02pm

number of partners is meaningless. what if somebody goes on a tear and has a new partner every week for a year (like i did a couple years ago), and then decides to stay in a monogamous relationship for years?

just google're welcome
May 3, 2019 - 3:26pm

Unless you've known the person for a long time and know their entire history you're probably not going to get an honest answer.

Men usually inflate the number of partners when speaking to other guys, but deflate the number when talking to women they're interested in.

Women on the other hand always give a smaller amount than the actual regardless of whether they're discussing this with females or males.

May 3, 2019 - 3:41pm


Edit: but in all sincerity, this is one of the most absurd posts I've seen. What if a woman has more than 2 cavities, does it mean she doesn't have impeccable hygiene and I should fish in other ponds? The fuck my guy.. If she's cool and you want to spend more time with her, then do it. But to walk away just because a number, sheesh

May 3, 2019 - 3:55pm

I don't think its that absurd. For me at least, it isn't the partners that makes it meaningful, its usually the emotional baggage that comes with someone (man or woman) that engages in copious amounts of sex with casual partners. Every single guy and girl I know who are above double digits before 23 have rampant insecurity issues or other emotional issues. I went through the same phase where I slept with someone new each weekend for a month (I was also feeling "ugly" and like I didn't know who I was) but by the time I got to the last one I asked myself wtf I was doing any of this for.

May 3, 2019 - 4:07pm

Life is long and many paths can be walked.. expand your horizons and try not to close doors off such rudimentary measures, you might be forgoing experiences you could have otherwise gained from. Breaking down your measure of 10 people before 23. Let's say 1 in highschool. 7 In college (less than 1 new partner per semester). Then 2 their first year upon moving to a new city after UG for work. They're cracking your threshold of 10 partners, but I think that is incredibly reasonable explanation.. but you would be willing to write them off for that? Come on now... experience more and do better.

May 4, 2019 - 11:07pm


One of my ''crushes''' years ago was a girl that slept with 14 guys over the course of two weeks. In a retrospect I laugh at that.

Typical example of girl whose father was never around (he also cheated on her mother) and resulted in psychological damage.

Run far away from girls who don’t have good relationships with their fathers. Always exceptions to the rule, but few and far between.

May 5, 2019 - 3:17am

That is exactly what I learned.

She's a great girl under many points of views: polyglot, great hobbies, fit, great fashion taste. However she's messed up and that eventually showed.

It's one of those things you have to go through a few times on your own before you actually believe it and run for your life at the next sight.

May 6, 2019 - 4:14pm

I wish this wasn't true, but it is overwhelmingly the case in my experience. A girl I thought I was going to marry wound up so deeply damaged from daddy issues and a broken family life growing up that at some point she had a massive breakdown that eventually deteriorated our relationship.

Parenting is so important...

May 17, 2019 - 4:22pm

I disagree, the idea of "pureness" in girls is just bullshit that we've been fed from overdramatised childhood fairy tales and religion. None of that stuff matters. You judge people individually not by some idealistic storyline your were fed as a kid.

Honestly.. I used to care a tonne about getting girls' attention and used to feel like total shit because everyone else seemed so much better at it than I did. The thing is, that attitude permeates through everything. It's literally impossible to hide the sheer desperation from people when you place such things on a pedestal - instant turn off.

What helped me the most was just getting over myself and giving less of a shit. Go hit the gym, get interests and hobbies standard stuff but most importantly GET REJECTED (not as an aim, as a by product of trying). I can't stress enough how much rejection and reps help to build your confidence if you have the right attitude.

You'll learn that life is random. I've had times where I've walked up to someone, said hi and they just death stared me down, threw water at me and walked away. I've also had times where girls have grabbed my shirt and yanked me away from my friends in a club. In either case, you'll learn that there is no "secret" and the best you can do in these situations is just hold your resolve and realise that both the highs and lows are part of the process of life. However, you'll never be a part of this process if you choose to do nothing.

May 4, 2019 - 10:48am

If I had to ballpark it, under 5 and over 15 is the no go region.

As shallow as this is, if she has had at least 5 partners, she is experienced sexually, and there is some sense of validation (she's capable of getting other guys, but chose you, rather than she has nobody and she is desperate so that's why I'm with her). But if she had over 15, she is probably too easy and promiscuous.

May 10, 2019 - 6:08pm


They don't want to wife up the types of girls that rejected them all their lives. Could be a smart move, but severely limits the potential pool, which is probably why they never got laid in the first place, kept limiting the pool to models and never closed anything.

Who wants to wife up failed girls that are trying to "settle down" after wasting their best years ?

May 5, 2019 - 10:31pm

I really think what you should care about is how a girl carries herself. I've met some girls who are at 5 guys but cheated on every boyfriend and are very easy. I've met other girls with higher numbers who are classy and just went far with other guys. My point being- if your girl has class then it shouldn't matter. If she lacks that and you lack trust in her.. then move on.

Life really can be simple if you choose to make it simple (for the most part).

“The three most harmful addictions are heroin, carbohydrates, and a monthly salary.” - Nassim Taleb
May 7, 2019 - 11:57am

I just hope you judge yourself by the same standard, if not you should just give up now.

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne
May 7, 2019 - 12:03pm

I hope you apply this same principal to yourself. If youv'e had a wild history then don't judge someone else for doing the same. If you have kept relatively low amount of partners and that would make you comfortable for her to have the same than so be it.

Its the past though so I think this is childish.

May 7, 2019 - 3:59pm

What? This seems oddly specific. Why are you asking strangers on a finance forum whether or not you should date a girl? We don't know her. I'm gonna go ahead and say that it doesn't really matter. Girlfriends are made because you vibe well with eachother, not necessarily because she's sexually inexperienced and you can mold her, or whatever. Weird post

May 9, 2019 - 6:33pm

There has been some great advice already given on this forum but I thought I would share my thoughts.

Assessing a woman's body count can be important for a variety of reasons including but not limited to a potential courtship, social status, odds at coitus, or even the lifelong commitment of marriage!

Here is a formula widely used by my fraternity (think SigEp, PhiDelt) for calculating a woman's body count. To begin:

  • Let y = body count

Important to accessing body count is accounting for age. A 22 year old with 4 bodies is much different than an 18 year old or a 31 year old with 4 bodies.

Use the following variables for the Age Multiplier:

  • Let a = age

  • Let c= age of consent in the country

The next section of the formula is supposed to assist predators with quickly assessing body count visually and with limited conversation or background knowledge. These variables and multiples can be manipulated but the following values have been agreed upon by those frequently using this formula.

The additional variables contribute to the promiscuity multiplier:

  • Let m = threesome experience. (0 = no, 1= FFM, 2=MFM) (3^m)

For the following variables insert a 1 for yes and 0 for no:

  • Let n = neck tattoo. (4n)

  • Let f = foot tattoo (.5f)

  • Let w = wrist tattoo (.5w)

  • Let u = Under the breast/ribcage tattoo (3u)

  • Let d = daddy issues (1.5d)

  • Let p = parents divorced (.25p)

  • Let r = says phrases like "finding myself, the evil 1%ers, live laugh love, your truth" (r)

The final section of the formula is the slut amplifier: (Insert 2 for yes, .5 for no)

  • Let g = gang-bang experience (Defined as a sexual encounter with a M:F ratio > 3:1)

  • Let t = thigh tattoo

Complete Formula:

y = ((a-(c/2))/c) * ((3^m) + 4n + ((f+w)/2) + 3u + ((3d)/2) + (p/4) + r) * ((g+t))

No formula is perfect. Obviously sometimes red flags appear, like if she's a stripper, or works in KPMG tax, or brags about her 2x12 subs in her Dodge Ram, and you should just run away regardless of whatever body count the formula comes up with.

The formula may seem cumbersome at first but after an hour or two of practice most males can mentally perform a quick calculation and give a healthy estimation of a targets body count in seconds.

Best of luck with your girl :)

CEO of Butters' Kissing Company
May 10, 2019 - 12:02pm

The phrases variable should include the following crimson flags: ''the patriarchy, gender roles, love is love is love''.

Example I had a few months ago: a girl complained that she couldn't find a stable partner. Throughout the conversation she said she thinks gender roles are BS and that she hates the fact that men compete for women's attention because it's outdated and society shouldn't be like that. I asked her if she sleeps with every man that gives her attention (a la Huxley's Brave New World) or if she has standards. She obviously replied she picks and has very high standards, to which I pointed out that in the exact moment she sets her standards, she creates a hierarchy ladder for men to sleep with her, thus competition among them. Her reply? ''but it shouldn't be like that'' and she stormed off.

May 17, 2019 - 9:41pm

I'm kind of a germaphobe, so anything over a handful I find repugnant. I don't care how hot the girl is, if she's been with more than something like 10 people my "equipment" wouldn't even work. I'd be as attracted to her as I am to men, which is 0 on a 10 scale.

May 21, 2019 - 2:49pm

I guess i'm way to open minded because my number is 500.

But honestly all trolling aside, its not like you get a handbook with the number that explains the who, what, where and why. I can say that all the women I had ever been with had the same or higher numbers than me. They all had legit reasons and unfortunately some weren't by choice or a situation moved beyond their control. If the person makes your heart sing...or your other heart sing for that matter, then let them rock your boat. If you like it then put a ring on it, if you don't, then don't. I'm married now but let me tell you. If i were single and i had an absolute smoke show come up to me and say "I wanna literally lick the floor you walk on but I've been with 25 dudes". As long as she is clean, and isn't completely crazy (a little crazy for flavor/fun) then i'm in.

Thanks for reading, this was a fun exercise.

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