How to become well spoken?
Hey guys, I know this is a weird question but here goes nothing.
I've recently been watching a lot of Bill Ackman videos and see that he is extremely well spoken. He has a certain composure and elegance when he speaks. How does one learn to become like that?
I was raised in the french education system so I was somewhat at a disadvantage growing up. However, I am as fluent in English as a native speaker but have a thick Canadian hockey player accent. Ironically I've lost my french accent these past few years and sound barbaric when I speak (Franco Ontarien/Quebecer accent as opposed to my unfortunately lost Parisien accent).
That being said, I feel like my manner of speaking has negatively impacted me throughout my school year. This is most notable during interviews and presentations, giving off the impression that I am unrefined and uneducated.
Any help would happily be appreciated as well as any tips and tricks.
For a somewhat accurate representation of how I speak, please refer to this video:
Read books
Second this, grew up in a blue collar town with lots of suburban slang - reading both fiction and non fiction definitely helped me learn to sound much more articulate and increased my vocabulary
Any good books as a suggestion? I've been reading a lot of finance books lately so its obviously helped me enhance my finance vocabulary.
Should I lean more towards fiction? Biographies?
Thanks for the help.
Don't use filler words. Take a pause to collect your thoughts, even if it has to be mid sentence, as you will come off more intelligent. At first pausing seems insane but as you decrease dependence on filler words, the pauses will become shorter and shorter and you will speak fluidly.
Read a lot as mentioned above.
Practice. Almost everyone that is good at something has practiced / perfected their skill. Don't do it until you get it right, do it until you never get it wrong.
+SB for this. Level of discipline most never think about.
Toast masters. Someone I’m close with used to stutter a lot. She joined a toast masters club and now she’s a senior position in RE Asset Management and as well spoken as can be.
People mentioned books, which I find useful too. Find any books that are aligned your interests. If you’re into finance (presumably since you’re on this site), there’s no shortage of finance books out there. Average a book every month or two and you’ll be fine.
Some movies that might be worth watching about speech:
The Kings Speech My Fair Lady Wall St Gekko Movie Speech
Try to talk like people in these speeches and avoid using UH or UM. Speak up and speak clear, don’t sound monotonous.
Just engage and be unique, be passionate about what you are saying
Honestly, go out to a party or a bar and start talking to a complete stranger. Male or female it doesnt matter. Do that enough times and you'll get better at maintaining conversation.
Terrible advice.
This can help increase confidence and general social skills but not so sure that it'd be helpful for becoming more well spoken.
Have a good vocabulary. Know your grammar, when to use "me" instead of "I", etc.
Don't use slang, or regional dialects. Speak like Don Draper, but most importantly you have to believe the words coming out of your mouth.
I'm lucky I grew up emulating my father who is incredibly well spoken.
your writing is solid too - I scout you out on here bro!
Read historical fiction and non-fiction books, the vocabulary used in older books or books based on history should help - even biographies are good depending on the person of course (books and films)
That's such an amazing accent. Would suck balls in a corporate environment, but everywhere else, you're golden.
It's pretty easy. Just imitate people, read so you know how words are spell, focus on annunciating the way it's spelled, practice practice practice. Also, practice constructing an idea from point of emphasis to analysis to conclusion. Learn how to prepare with intent on presenting, then practice relaying that extemporaneous on your own. It's all about proper construction in what message you're trying to deliver.
It seems you write relatively well, and given your post, I think you're focused on changing your accent more than anything else. That's not especially easy to do, but not impossible. The primary influence on your accent is your environment. You speak the way the people around you speak. Americans don't notice this as much (I understand you're Canadian) as the English or the French. I'm American, but lived in England and France long enough to be able to fully tell the difference in regional accents.
The issue--and I suspect this is true in other European nations as well--is that so much of the money in Europe derives from family wealth several generations ago. At least, that's where the accents come from. This is a bit of a generalization, but Northern England has essentially always been poor (as have Wales and Scotland). Americans might like some of those accents, but the Hugh Grant/David Cameron/Boris Johnson accent comes from the upper classes in the Home Counties. They are all Old Etonians, and there is a MASSIVE difference in the way they speak when compared to, say, Mel-B.
I have some posh English friends who claim to like it in the US precisely because Americans can't tell anything about them due to their accent. In England, it's quite easy to determine someone's upbringing by the way they speak, which is why so many kids at Oxford and Cambridge naturally or intentionally change their accents (or at least attempt to) when they go up to university. English and French societies are significantly less egalitarian than most Americans would imagine, and people discriminate based on accents. In France, there are some scummy regional accents I can barely understand because I've only ever spent any meaningful amount of time in Paris working for 'les enarques'. I didn't know French when I moved to Paris, so the accent I adopted is the only one I heard at work which was quite posh.
In the US, I think your accent matters a lot less, but it's not entirely forgotten. Diction, cadence and content all matter too, but it's difficult to sound intelligent and speak like Jeff Sessions. It's also difficult to sound intelligent with the faux-upper class accent a lot of kids at Stanford seem to be adopting these days. I don't know where that accent originated, but since I've lived all over the US (including California), I can say with some confidence that it feels like an affectation.
If you're going to attempt to speak better, you need to surround yourself with people who speak the way you want to talk. Reading books can be helpful, but the reason most people speak poorly isn't because they're dumb, but because they are unused to having their ideas challenged. This is why attending a top school helps immensely in presentation skills and why some people need a MBA to polish some of their rough spots. If you get used to having to justify your position before you speak (or risk looking dumb in a losing argument after you've said something you can't defend), that's generally enough time to form a (more) coherent thought.
Too often, people speak as a reactionary measure to fill what may seem like an uncomfortable silence. If you have a very quick mind, that might be alright, but for most people, it's better to air on the side of seeming pensive and collecting your thoughts before making a case. The best practice for this is a conversation with an eloquent, well-educated person. Failing that, great books can sometimes feel like those conversations. And when you've heard enough and read enough to finally form opinions you can defend on a variety of topics, test your hand at writing a little.
Forcing yourself to work through an argument on paper will help you understand the points worth making in that argument. In this sense, PowerPoint is your enemy. A lot of kids on this site probably think they make good slides, but they can't storyboard a deck for shit because they're not used to telling a story. I'd MUCH rather read a few pages of a well-written argument than see a 50-slide deck with the EXACT SAME slides every consultancy and I-bank present. If you can learn those skills, I'd say you're 80% of the way to having 'executive presence', which is what you're really shooting for anyway.
What does that sound like? I’m scratching my head to think of it, and am really curious now.
My school had an accent of sorts, too (more an affectation). Lots of quirky people there, so they’d sound like Midwestern moms and bob their heads at the end of every sentence to support their point (I noticed women do that a lot). I’ve seen it a bit in the working world too. Not sure where it came from. Maybe it was the mechanism they used to find one another.
I think I know the one. I can't give a perfect definition but it goes something like this: I) involves an over-pronunciation of vowels/syllables which should not be accented eg: Collegiate (emphasis on the e; whereas the kids would say co-lee-gee-at, using the long o where it does not belong) Ib) This rule does not ever apply to the long A sound, as the long A is a distinctly American (A-mer-a-cAn). I suppose they would pronounce this something like (e-maarr-icun)
In short, it sounds like a bit like a stoner/surfer-bro, gained a little bit of self-awareness then trained themselves to discuss
Accent reduction class would be a huge start. Try your local community college or find some dialect coach.
http://www.actingstudio.com/our-classes/actors/voice-and-speech
OP, I agree with this Brother’s post. I'm also from Canada and spit a few chiclets in my gong-show hockey days. When I first moved to NYC, people viewed me as uneducated and unprofessional because of how I expressed myself. I was criticized for my wording and I viewed them as elitists, for constantly jerking each other off to how smart each other were.
However, I've overcome this by preparing for conversations and viewing every conversation as a meeting with a senior client. Good luck, I included the expressions for colour.
Ensure that you use grammar correctly. Most people don’t and don’t even realise it. For example:
“May I have a table for two people, please?”
“There are definitely less errors in the model than there were previously.”
“Would you like to come for a beer on Tuesday with John and I?”
All of the above are examples of grammar being applied incorrectly and it’s largely not even noticed by the general population.
Under no circumstances use filler words. “Like” is the worst. Speak more slowly if necessary, or just take the time to gather your thoughts. When people visibly reflect on questions before giving an answer it tends to make them appear more intelligent and well measured.
Do not inflect sentences higher at the end. It makes a person sound like they lack confidence and are asking for approval rather than making a statement, or they do it because they’re Australian. Both are bad.
Speak more clearly. Do not drop letters from words. But under no circumstances should you try to affect an accent that isn’t your own. I’m from the UK and have been privately educated in an affluent part of an affluent city, and I find it deeply embarrassing when I hear people affecting posher accents than is natural for them. The same could be said if I were to start affecting the accent of my Eton or Harrow friends. It’s very obvious to everyone expect you It makes a person look very insecure. Accent really doesn’t matter that much these days as long as it’s genuine (in my opinion).
What's wrong with the first two examples?
You use "fewer" not "less" when you talk abut an amount that you can easily count.
With that said, I really don't think anyone would really judge someone for making these nit-picky examples of incorrect grammar, especially in conversation, where it'd likely go unnoticed..
All good ideas. It's about confidence. Confidence comes from experience. Toast Masters is a great source of acquiring experience. Practice making brief speeches, comments, etc. When you witness eloquence, ask yourself how you would handle and practice a response just to hear those words come out of your mouth.
Over time, you will gain experience and with that, confidence.
Watch the old videos on Youtube of William F. Buckley debating Noam Chomsky. Pay attention to how they make their arguments, the wording they use, their sentence patterns, etc.
Get a thesaurus and try to find substitutes for words you may use as "crutches" or repeat too often.
Read "The Elements of Style". Don't worry it's pretty short. It's ostensibly a writing book but will help correct any grammatical errors you might be making involuntarily or without thinking.
Read a book of idioms.
Usually you go out-side more, and talk to different people.
There are a lot of good responses above. I’m going for low to no effort solutions.
My two cents: 1) Listen to the Slate Culture Gabfest and Political Gabfest podcast
The East coast leftist elites have amazing vocabularies and arguments, and you can absorb most importantly you’ll have the correct pronounciations in addition to the context.
Distant 2nd and 3rd 2) The Elevate app is pretty fun,
(I’m starting a new job and thought I would freshen up my mental maths [let me know if you have something better] not sure if it’s good for that but the communication section seems good) people are shallow but that’s the way it is. I have a brilliant colleague who was told in an interview the he sounded “too London”, i.e. street.
3rd) Audiobook the Flashman and or Jeeves books. If you don’t do fiction try Anarchy, State, and Utopia.
toastmasters is actually a really great organization...free to go your first time to check it out...really helps with all aspects of public speaking
I actually really appreciate this post, so thank you. I've never heard of Toastmasters but I might check it out myself as I'm always looking to enhance skills across the board.
I think most of the respondents have given great advice. I'll add the following, which may be mentioned already, just from a different lens. In TLDR format:
One point about the accent in particular, I've been lucky enough to have met some people from all over the world. In regards to their accent, it's never been an issue and I've never thought about them as being dumb or lesser. What I appreciate more, is a dedication to the command of different languages, in order to hit all the points above (and what others have posted). I think that's far more impressive, in terms of being well spoken, than trying to overcome an accent. Sometimes, they speak a second or third language better than I can speak my native language.
Read books, pick, learn and regurgitate the ideas.
When you watch a well spoken character (movies or real life), takes notes on what was impressive, what's the differences?
Frankly, you can speak a mile a minute like a sales guy and still sounds dumb AF. Or you can learn, know your shit in depth. This will translate when you present or converse. At the end of the day, when you know what's coming out of your mouth well, you will speak well even if you have speech deficiencies. Otherwise, your shallowness will show and is pretty easy to detect.
Hamilton James of Blackstone is extremely well spoken, see videos on YouTube to pick up some tips
thanks for introducing me to Letterkenny. What a great show.
Prior to finance I worked in medicine as a surgical first assistant for an Orthopedic Surgeon. My mentor was a ML broker from the 80’s prior to swapping to medicine. During appointments we would dictate his notes with the findings in front of the patient to ensure his summary was accurate to their concerns.
I adapted this practice to my client meetings. I started off dictating them after our meetings first to become comfortable before sounding like an idiot mumbling into the dictaphone in front of people.
I had my assistant type them up and started to notice he was leaving a lot of the dictations out of the files. My office administrator at the time of a bit of a smart ass, and one day he crossed me so I chucked the dictaphone at him, told him to stfu and transcribe the files verbatim. I went home for the evening, and didn’t give it a second thought until a few days later when I discovered that my asshole assistant did exactly as I had asked for the first time, and in grand fashion. The fuck didn’t leave out a single ummm, uhhh, cough, clearing of the throat, the fucker even dictated me bitching when I spilt coffee on myself. It read something like this.....
“Hmmmmm, today John Smith and I met to discuss his ummm plans for his ummm retirement and such. John is a 50 year old Network Admin. He is, married, no wait divorced, yeah divorced. Hobbies include hmmmm, uhhhhh, music? I’m Ron burgundy? Whatever He’s a homeowner with a remaining mortgage of like 120k, and valuation of the property of 300k. No financial liability disclosed. Other assets.... he has been contributing to a ummm 401k at his employer.....hmmm ummm uhhh where the fuck did he work, pages rustling, oh yeah at Lockheed Martin, duh. The plans custodian is Voya, and has a value of 500k circa the statement provided Q3 2013. Then he’s got like another 100k held in a non qual brokerage account with Raymond James, or was it Morgan Stanley, whatever he’s supposed to bring the statement by next week along with bank statements to estimate cash flow for his ummm future needs....”
Luckily I came in early that day and he wasn’t in the office yet. First I wanted to teabag his telephone and give him a list to coldcall, but after about 10minutes or plotting unique ways to induce misery I elected to listen to the audio file. I got exactly what I asked for... and it dawned on me I was a bumbling fucktard.
I took the incident to heart, and started reviewing my dictations, quit talking when I hadn’t fully developed my thoughts, and embraced the pause method. Overtime you’ll become more fluid and sound intelligent without having to be a wordsmith.
Moral of the story? It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
In my experience, when I can't find my words I just slow down. Its also important to organize your thoughts and think before you speak.
If you're going for the articulated and elegant vibe you should read more. I studied English Literature and it had a very profound impact.
The best way to become better at speaking is practice. Guys like Ackman have to be good at speaking - they have to be able to communicate effectively with investors.
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