How to get out of prestige whoring mindset?
I've been lucky enough to accept a SA 2022 offer relatively early at a firm I'm happy with, that meets my current career goals, has great people, and is overall a really good fit for me. However, it's not one of the "prestigious" BB's or EB's like GS/JPM/CVP/Evercore etc, and I'm coming to realize I'm a bit insecure about that lack of relative "prestige" for some reason. Even though I'm not even sure I want to go into PE, I can't shake the feeling that I'm "missing" out if I don't recruit for these "prestigious" firms, and any prospect of reaching some shiny MF PE and HBS is completely ruined and thus my life is ruined, which I know is a completely ridiculous thought to have since I'm extremely fortunate to even be able to break in. I know "prestige" really doesn't matter that much in the grand scheme of things, but I can't help worrying about the almost minimal lack thereof. Any advice on how to get out of this toxic prestige whoring mindset?
At the end of the day, there is a marginal difference in prestige across most firms. If you do banking at any of the BBs you'll have a shot at almost any opportunity after that. I'd be wary of spending a lot of time on LinkedIn or reading these forums sometimes. Most of the people who "flex" their prestige are pretty lame (you'll realize this quickly when you speak with them). The best people are always humble—good friend of mine signed with a MF and never mentioned it or brought it up, only if someone asked him point blank. He always gassed up his friends with other offers and never looked down on others
If you really dig into what you want out of your life, prestige matters less and less. It's just a job. Yeah it's a good thing to want a lot out of your career, but at what cost? I'm not saying jeopardize your future potential by taking some shitty job. But, you can do the same type of work at so many different boutiques or MM firms that you'll be well-off regardless. Yeah you can go MF PE and earn fuckloads of money, but what are you going to do? Buy the world? It's just a job, there's interesting PE/HF or whatever exit jobs everywhere. Becky from the club might think you're hot shit because you work at "Goldman". But are the people that are entranced by prestige really the people you want to be around? At the end of the day, it's just a job. If you want to join a sweaty group and churn out deals for a year and ruin your health for an exit, that's cool. If you want to go to a lifestyle MM boutique at a LCOL area, you can still exit to buyside if you want. It's your career, and the people that give a shit where you work aren't the people you want around your life anyway.
Didn't you already post this?
M&A?
It’s a really toxic mindset, and one that I also have personally struggled with (still do). Props for recognizing it within yourself and wanting to be better. At the end of the day, the one person who can change your mind on this is you. You can have everyone on WSO, friends, family, professors, etc. tell you how little prestige & comparing yourself to others matter, but it’s ultimately up to you to believe that. I think we can agree that being a person obsessed with prestige is not the ideal version of ourselves, so maybe we should stop caring about it? I understand IB attracts people who want to be the best in every dimension - jobs, schools, salary, brand name, etc., so it can be heard to just “settle” for a job that isn’t IB at GS TMT. For me, it helped to see that in the long run, obsessing over prestige is a race to the bottom. When you are lying on your death bed, nobody in their right mind will die caring about what firm they worked at or how much money they made. You will care about your closest friends and family and being surrounded by loved ones. Pretty bleak mentality, but if you adopt a long term view I find that obsessing over prestige ultimately becomes unimportant. There are so many more important things in life - being a good person, helping others, establishing deep personal relationships with people whom you care about & care about you. Take it from someone who went to a target and is doing IB at a non-BB/EB: focus on the things that truly matter! My PM is always open if you want to chat more.
Get friends outside the industry. Then you will recognize how little it really matters to people and how small minded your thinking is. For most people, a job isn’t a source of self-esteem, it is something that allows them to live their life and have hobbies and fun times with friends, which you (and I right now as an FT analyst) have few of.
“I work for evercore”
”what’s that?”
“It’s an elite investment bank”
”Oh, I went to the bank last week!”
Then you will learn how small you are thinking and how lost and warped your priorities are. Also, hopefully then you change your thinking to be more balanced and your goals to be more intrinsically driven.
Could not agree more. I'm lucky that most of my friends from high school and college went STEM or medicine. None of them really understand banking or PE and it's nice not comparing myself to them or their success.
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