How to NOT let COVID derail my dating game?

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I'm a guy who looking for a serious relationship in 2020 and then COVID hit. I don't want to let COVID set my life back too much and hopefully can form a connection with a girl over the internet/app.

What tips do you have to get on with your dating life during quarantine? 

Also, the dating game is much harder for Asian guys. My likes on dating apps are all either unattractive, overweight potheads or fake profiles.

 

Any tips would be appreciated. 

Comments (74)

 
  • Analyst 3+ in RE - Comm
Sep 17, 2020 - 12:12pm

Interested to hear some tips as well and how others are doing. Been interested in getting into a relationship but Covid has seemed like a huge obstacle because some people are interested, others not so much. I've had matches where we'll chat for a few days but i'm always kind of unsure of what an actual date could be like or even what we could do. I'm not too interested in doing video chats or phone calls as "dates" but maybe others can shed some light on this if they've had success with it?

Array
 
Sep 17, 2020 - 12:48pm

I mainly like Tinder and Instagram to check out talent. 

This girl hit me up today on Insta and she said she just wants to hook up and then sent me her address and apartment number. She lives in the same city.

I’m mainly looking for a long term relationship though - I don’t know about this chick. She is terrible at messaging proper grammar and it’s bad to the point that I find it annoying and hard to understand. 

Also, how many guys has she hooked up with just casually? Seems kind of trashy. I might meet her at a neutral location though for drinks or something.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

 
Sep 17, 2020 - 2:40pm

haha yeah idk about this chick.

We decided to meet up for drinks later and then she axed that and said she would really prefer it if I just came straight to her place.

So I agree, but then she starts talking about picking up an Amazon gift card for her to give to her when we meet. I’m not comfortable with this and said no and she replied ‘what the hell’ and continued to ask again and again. I really don’t like giving away free handouts.

I told her I could pick up whatever food or drinks she needed and she didn’t ask for anything except an Amazon gift card. Why do younger chicks always feel like they deserve free handouts? I told her it was super unattractive. She was pissed I said this. 

I don’t know what’s going to happen later. I think this chick might be too crazy for me. I’m kind of bored though and wouldn’t mind slugging some drinks at her place. 

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

 
Sep 17, 2020 - 3:31pm

I’m checking out talent for a long term relationship. 

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

 
Sep 17, 2020 - 12:53pm

Pretty much same situation.

You can't depend on incoming likes as a guy. Given you want a serious relationship, I suggest hinge/bumble.

Also, sounds like you are planning on only doing zoom calls/ phone calls? That ain't gonna cut it. Probably need to get comfortable with meeting in person, even if outside/with a mask/after you've done a zoom call and clicked.

 
Sep 17, 2020 - 1:14pm

The soonest actual dating will come back is mid year 2021, if you thought being a guy online dating wasn't fun before pandemic (which it rarely is) it'll be 10x as hard now

Honestly instead of looking into a drying pond, why don't you spend the time picking up hobbies? Could be stuff with applications when you start dating again too like working out & getting yoked, learning an instrument, a new outdoor hobby --> can meet people thru all of this stuff 

Edit: Not sure why someone threw MS at this, I think this is a pretty fair LT strategy given alternative rn is shit. Just because you don't want to hear it doesn't mean you should hate on it. If you have a different perspective, feel free to share and we can discuss in a rational, amiable way

 
  • Analyst 1 in Other
Sep 17, 2020 - 1:54pm

I disagree with online dating being harder now... I think its easier than ever. There's more girls than ever before on these apps because they're horny too and dont have their usual outlets to meet guys / get attention. A lot of this is location dependent too, Tinder in cities like SF can be a nightmare. 

 
  • Analyst 3+ in RE - Comm
Sep 17, 2020 - 2:25pm

I think online dating is now filled with more people, but I don't think they're all looking for something serious. I think many are on there due to boredom of not being able to really go out and socialize in a normal way. And getting some people together to hangout just feels harder cause not everyone is comfortable going to public places or being with large groups. I usually like to meet people in person just because seeing them in a dating app, they can be different. Someone's dating profile might not be an ideal "swipe right" scenario, but if you met them in person first, that can be quite different. Dating apps can still be good and there was another discussion post about how people met their significant other and there were a decent number of posts that said things like Tinder, Hinge and Bumble. So I'm convinced it's still worth something, but it is probably one of most common options right now as thing slowly open back up. 

So i agree overall it is harder just because there are so many barriers at the moment. And I agree working on yourself can be a good option to put less pressure on dating. Finding a companion is great but stressing about it in the current environment doesn't seem that much better.

Array
 
  • Intern in IB - Ind
Sep 17, 2020 - 1:41pm

Is dating really harder for asian guys?

Array
 
  • Analyst 1 in IB - Gen
Sep 17, 2020 - 6:36pm

Am an asian guy, I've never had trouble using tinder/hinge/bumble to hook-up or get dates. Just don't be creepy and know how to carry a conversation. 

Array
 
Sep 18, 2020 - 10:21am

it has been said that women look at the profiles of men on Tinder / Bumble not thru the lens of "is this guy attractive....do i want to have sex with him based on his looks"....but rather, does the entirety of his pictures, including not just his face/body, but his surroundings and social cues that i can discern from everything in the picture, make me think he leads an interesting life...and would i have fun with him, based on all the info i can discern from his pictures.

 

This makes no sense...there is no way for people to really convey all that information thru a couple pictures and a few lines of profile text....and yet, that is exactly what women try to do, and how they mostly make their choices on Tinder/Bumble.  Also, the few guys who are aware that this is how women judge mens online profiles can fake all that stuff to trick the women into creating a false narrative in their head...to skew the matching results.

 

So, my question...is this how you, and women you know, actually judge the profiles of guys on the dating apps....or is there another way that you pick?

Most guys, as you know, are pretty clueless when it comes to these things...mostly because men don't do the same thing....men mentally remove all the clutter from a girls picture and ask "is she hot ?"

 
  • Intern in PropTrad
Sep 17, 2020 - 4:49pm

I joined  tinder, bumble and hinge literally only because I am bored, bored, bored. It's never going to go anywhere I'm admittedly wasting their time, but it's not my fault blame it on the pandemic.However if while I was out, even if I was just out running errands, and a decent guy approached me (within a 6 ft distance!) and struck up conversation I would genuinely be receptive where as pre-covid I'd probably have called the police. If you have the courage  try the latter, I think everyone is more open at the moment to strangers making conversation and also have the time to reciprocate.  We are starved of social interaction. Use it to your advantage =)

 
  • Intern in PropTrad
Sep 18, 2020 - 12:00am

I think it's probably my paranoia… who are they,  what they want, yuck why didn't they approach me sooner instead of just staring at me for 10 minutes et cetera. Your approach is better to just have fun…could never  approach a guy myself however…  sometimes all you have to do is ask a guy for directions and they think you want to marry them!

 
Sep 17, 2020 - 8:08pm

 

I joined  tinder, bumble and hinge literally only because I am bored, bored, bored. It's never going to go anywhere I'm admittedly wasting their time, but it's not my fault blame it on the pandemic.

It’s your fault, stop blaming external factors.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

 
Sep 17, 2020 - 8:12pm

I think everyone is more open at the moment to strangers making conversation and also have the time to reciprocate.

No, I don’t think so. Also, it’s hard to tell how hot a chick is with a mask over her face. What happens when you exchange info and see their full face on the profile - I think it is a bit of a leap flirting in stores with masks and everything. You can’t even see their smile - super lame.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

 
Sep 17, 2020 - 10:41pm

Isaiah_53_5

No, I don’t think so. Also, it’s hard to tell how hot a chick is with a mask over her face. What happens when you exchange info and see their full face on the profile - I think it is a bit of a leap flirting in stores with masks and everything. You can’t even see their smile - super lame.

This x 100. Not being able to see facial expressions is just incredibly off-putting. I haven't even bothered flirting in public.

I'm in my 20s living in an area full of other people in their 20s. So now I have to resort to Tinder.

Financial Data Science
 
Sep 17, 2020 - 10:49pm

I usually hate online dating but I've personally found them useful during COVID.

I've been meeting more women than I usually did before COVID. 

As for the Asian point. Just don't fall into the stereotype (you know the scrawny needy Asian dude). Work out. Have pics of you doing something interesting, something that reveals a bit about you. I used to row and it's still a big part of my identity, so I have a picture of me rowing. I also have some pics of me traveling, playing an instrument, and cooking (ladies love that).

No mirror selfies though. Unless you want to hookup with bunch of smooth-brain IG model type hoes.

Financial Data Science
 
Sep 18, 2020 - 1:22am

NYC is back to 25% capacity. Get out there and swing your trunk.

"Full speed ahead, damn the torpedoes." -U.S. Navy General Farragut
 
  • Analyst 1 in S&T - FI
Sep 18, 2020 - 5:53pm

In terms of online dating, it is paramount to have high-quality shots. Hire a photographer if you have to. Look at the camera with a squinch (bottom eye-lid raised slightly). Make sure they are low aperture. You don't have to be a model, but if you can get model-quality shots, it will up your results tremendously. 

Second, you need a bio that captures attention, disqualifies the girl, and shows your personality. 

Third, try to move the girl off tinder as soon as possible. Tinder messages easily get lost in the noise, especially for attractive girls. 

Fourth, don't be the asinine guy that messages "hey" or "hi." Make the message personalized, funny, and attention-grabbing.  

 
  • Analyst 2 in RE - Comm
Sep 19, 2020 - 10:08am

Thread on WSO about dating has 66 comments in a matter of hours - who woulda thought!!

Array
 
Sep 19, 2020 - 4:35pm
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