How to socialize?

Honestly, just treat the people as people, not God-Kings. I always just treated the guys and girls as I normally would. Talk to the guys about shit you'd talk to your friends about. I suggest running some game on the chicks, always worked for me (being semi-serious here).

Ask people about themselves. This is true for interviews too... I've found that the more people talk in the conversation, the more they seem to like you and the easier it is on your end.

First, despite having a reputation as being one and the same everywhere, bankers can actually be very different depending on location/industry/own background etc.

As others above have said, sports and travel are safe topics. Bankers tend to be competitive and many were former athletes, so sports is a good one... travel is also good because senior bankers travel a lot (obviously more for business than pleasure, but still...).

I usually start conversations by asking about the person and trying to figure out what interests him/her... people like to talk about themselves and whatever they are doing/working on. You will also seem more interesting even though all you're doing is asking questions and listening.

If you really can't think of anything to talk about, there's always "the market." This is one that ALL bankers love to discuss because it directly affects their paycheck. I had to pull this one a week or two ago when I was forced to sit next to a VERY senior guy and ran out of good topics (he wasn't into sports/travel/anything else I said). Unless you have something truly insightful to say I would continue asking questions and listening for the most part.

What bankerchic just said is dead-on. Let them do the talking. When they walk away from the conversation, they will think, "This is an interesting young banker," when the truth is, they did all the talking. This is something hit on over and over again by Dale Carnegie.

People love to talk about themselves. Just listen, and you'll win people over.

Not to derail too much, but am I the only person who hates being asked about themselves? I'm not the most socially graceful person, so maybe that factors into it, but it bugs the crap out of me when people start asking me a ton of questions. And yet I always see that as advice for good social practice: "Ask people about themselves," "Everyone likes to talk about themselves," etc.

Personally, if I want to tell you about myself then I'll tell you about myself, but keep asking and I feel like I'm being interrogated.

"When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead."

Great comments! Very useful! By the way, in case that I would like to know more detail of the banker, say his career path or background, how should I say it. Cuz it may seem a bit odd if I ask directly like "what did you do before joining xxx". Can someone post kind of typical beginning of a conversation? Thanks a lot!

Do read How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie, it'll be helpful if youre desperate to actually have to post this on a forum.

If you want the quick n' dirty version its:

who is everyones favorite person? (themselves) ipso facto, lets talk about your favorite person.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influence_People

Good link, markets405

if you are not a natural banterer, then just follow sports - as mentioned above.

banking is male dominated, so sports are a common theme.

treat it like a hw assignment. pick a few teams (NFL, MLB and English Premier League - for the Brits/Euros) and follow them before work starts - read the major sites and newspapers in the area. know the standings and who the important players are.

from this you'll be able to talk with any guy you encounter. most importantly, it will generally allow you to ask a question that compels them to talk and talk and then you can just listen, as most guys are passionate about a sports team.

don't know what works for women (generally), but they are rare enough, where it shouldn't be a a problem.

AltESV I think you're missing the idea. I don't think people will be very interested if all you do is ask them ' do you like this or that', 'did you go to this place or that', 'do you like playing this or that'. Instead, people love to express their views and their own take on things in every conversation. So if it's a conversation about politics, people naturally try to relate the conversation back to their views. Maybe because it's their comfort zone.

If you want this person to feel at ease with you, then let him talk. If you do the same as him (butt in and keep expressing your views), you'll find it a very frustrating conversation and I'm sure the other person would too.

charlemenge - Fair points. I guess I was expressing my frustration with the kinds of questions you cited as uninteresting. I love to talk about my views/opinions on things, I just hate being asked for my biography all the time. Ultimately, I really prefer to talk about what I'm thinking than what I am doing or have already done (e.g. questions about where I live, what I do for a living, etc. bore me terribly).

I have no problem letting other people talk, if anything I am too quiet/introverted.

"When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead."

It can be risky, and a lot of people advise against it, but I've always found talking politics works well as long as you don't have any overly passionate people in your team/you don't take yourself too seriously. If they have the same views as you, you guys can connect over it; and if they have opposite opinions you can make light hearted jokes. But on the flip side, if you have trouble socializing, you'd probably have trouble turning it into something humorous. Also making jokes at lindsey lohan's and brittany spear's expense never gets old. If you have the capability to talk about sports, go for it, but its a lot harder to fake than people on here make it out to be - people are going to know you have no idea what you're talking about, theres a lot of nuances you pick up from talking about/playing sports for years that you really can't "study." Much the same way you can't study dating and then be the next prince charming.

Sports is a GREAT subject. Also, its good to ask bankers about themselves because we all have big egos and we know it. Nothing pads an ego more than a young kid who is totally interested in learning all about you.