How to stop interns from networking with you?

Hi,

I work at my bank's M&A group and there's an intern (this particular internship goes through the school year) who keeps trying to network with me.

For context, this person works in an entirely different group (I don't know their work and will not work together), and just keeps messaging me for coffee/to chit chat.

I've already done an informational interview to talk about my job with them, but really don't have an interest to meet again. The person wants a referral to my team, but I'm not willing to give it, don't want to bat for them, and also think they have low situational awareness.

At some point people have to realize others have work and life to do and they are not in the office to chit chat with you/you can't get a job by chatting, and learn to read the room a bit…

What's the best way for me to shake them off?Appreciate advice.

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Comments (14)

Most Helpful
  • Analyst 1 in IB - Cov
Sep 1, 2021 - 8:02pm

I think you should tell them as it is. You'll be doing them and yourself a favor. 2 years ago I had a coffee chat with a VP at BX and it absolutely sucked (from her point of view). After the coffee chat, she was kind enough to email me about this and how I can improve. It sucked but I appreciated the email and implemented the feedback. If she hadn't told me this I would have thought everything was fine. It's your obligation to be honest.

  • Associate 2 in IB - Gen
Sep 1, 2021 - 8:28pm

How does one politely tell some kid who believes they are entitled to a job as long as they don't stop messaging that messaging for no reason won't count as professional relevance? It's sheer leeching to want to have a job by forcing others rather than working hard like everyone else.

Sep 3, 2021 - 3:04pm

How does one politely tell some kid who believes they are entitled to a job as long as they don't stop messaging that messaging for no reason won't count as professional relevance? It's sheer leeching to want to have a job by forcing others rather than working hard like everyone else.

The problem is in this day and age there is no such thing as being polite enough unless you actually hand him the opportunity. The modern generation is increasingly becoming soft and weak. Say something slightly off tone and the kid will try to email HR and frame you as "rude" or "abusive". 

Array

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Sep 4, 2021 - 10:29am

Or they'll dig into your social media history to EXPOSE you. 

  • Prospect in IB-M&A
Sep 1, 2021 - 9:00pm

Best move here imo is just to redirect the kid to someone else (frame it as an interesting opportunity) and let them handle it. This way you don't burn any bridges and he gets off your back.

  • Analyst 1 in IB - Cov
Sep 2, 2021 - 11:16pm

Tell him you submitted a referral but tell HR to ding him for being awkward or something

Sep 3, 2021 - 3:00pm

Lol this is a classic. Forward over the kid's resume to HR with him CCed, but then send an email to HR right after saying to ding him (without the kid CCed of course). 

Array

Sep 4, 2021 - 1:43am

Snark, massive snark.  That's how I survive around here too.  I batted exactly once but he didn't get it.  He ended up landing at Nasdaq tho.

The only difference between Asset Management and Investment Research is assets. I generally see somebody I know on TV on Bloomberg/CNBC etc. once or twice a week. This sounds cool, until I remind myself that I see somebody I know on ESPN five days a week.
  • Associate 3 in IB-M&A
Sep 6, 2021 - 2:09pm

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