I am lost and would love for you to figure out my life for me

Title tells it all

This is a long post about something that would not affect anyone else’s life, but your input would be extremely meaningful to me. Please treat me and this post as if I am your own son, only then would your thoughts would remain free of bias.

To talk about my life, would be to talk about a perpetuating feeling of either guaranteed success or imminent failure.

This could either seem like a story about someone with extremely high ambitions, or it may be seen as someone who is merely wasting their time fantasizing and not getting on with their life. To me, making it means being successful by 30 years old. Successful means on the career trajectory of my dreams, with the girl of my dreams. The money comes later, and the girl will fall in place after the career trajectory is figured out, I am at least mature enough to understand that part. Right now, I am 24, have no real job, live with my parents, and am STILL a B/C student (albeit now in tough upper-level STEM courses and not general middle/high school courses).

I have no clue whether being a health professional or a wall street player is more suitable/realistic to my goals and who I am as a person. All I know is I am sick and tired of chasing something that I am not completely obsessed with, such as my current pursuit as a dentist. I really did want to be a dentist and it was not the rigorous schooling that has dissuaded me. It is more along the lines of the reality that the industry is shifting. After getting close with the dentist I was shadowing, I was filled in on a bleak reality that most of my pre-dental colleagues are either not aware of, or are completely dismissive.

Internally, reality seems pretty optimistic, apart from a perpetuating feeling that this optimism is naive and immature. Whether my confidence is underscored by an insightful reality that I am destined to achieve my dreams or coveted by a blanketed fantasy that some things are simply out of my reach, the adventure lies in finding out. Thus far, the adventure has been stressful, depressing, and frightening. Being in this position at 24 years old is incredibly scary. This is the age where dreams become reality, and this is also the age where the corruption of life takes hold if one is not cautious.

Long story short, I have always thought I wanted to be a dentist. However, the dentist I was beginning to get close to finally reveals to me how saddened he is about shifting trends, as private equity firms continue to buy up practices and form DSOs. The surprising part was that it didn't take long for my dreams to begin falling apart. This industry once allowed you to provide meaningful oral care to patients, and live a fulfilling life serving others. An industry that also allowed you to open up a thriving private practice and really have a shot at truly achieving a financial dream. It has finally begun to feel the grips of corporate America. I am not angry that this dissuades me from continuing dentistry, it opened my eyes to how things really work. Besides, going into 500k debt, even with IBR, it seems like not the greatest goal to have for someone second-guessing a career based primarily on economic outlook. The single most important thing I took away from all this was that I would rather be the guy working on deals that advances the dental industry, rather than be the actual dentist.

My ideal scenario of where I work includes finance/markets/behavioral economics/market research. My ideal scenario of the topics I want to learn about includes medicine and finance. My ideal quality of life is in the ballpark of 200-400k per year. With that income, I believe I would be satisfied.

So, I tell myself, maybe it is too late? Then there is the conflicting principle about the fact that it is never too late to do what you want in life comes back to haunt me, and cancels out self-limiting beliefs. All I am left with is, okay maybe it is not too late, but what is the BEST thing to do from here?

What do I REALLY want? I want to either continue in the sciences and get rewarded with a high paying salary, prestige, and the ability to help others as a health professional (except the looming fears of single-payer, corporate take over/diminishing salaries and student debt). Or chase my true interests of markets and economics. Trading futures has been a big part of my life since I was 16 years old, but I consider that a hobby. The sciences are a passionate pursuit because I really transformed from a low IQ dummy to someone who may actually be somewhat intelligent, and that is enough for me to keep going. Really, the sciences (biochem specifically) are only interesting because it is competitive and difficult, which are the only things that seem to provide meaning for me.

My Pathetic Stats:

24 Years old
Non Target/ No Name Public State School in Chicago (very close proximity to a target school for what it is worth)
90 Credits under my belt
45 Credits left to go (all fully major-related)
2.5-2.7 Cumulative GPA currently
3.0 Biochem GPA projected (if I stick with this route)
3.8-4.0 Econ GPA projected (if I went the IB/high finance route, these classes are nothing compared to Biochem classes)
2.9-3.1 Cumulative GPA projected (either route I choose)

I believe my CURRENT cumulative GPA is not an accurate reflection of my capabilities because freshman year of college I got a D in math 101, a high school level math course. I had to repeat it and I got a C the second time. Last semester I reached up to calculus 2 and got an A the first time I took it. It was the highest percentage out of all remaining students at the end of the semester. I have so many credits because I literally worked from the ground up in all the sciences. I come from an affluent high school, but my work ethic was always piss poor due to my extensive social circle and looks. In short, I was extremely distracted by women and having fun, something I terribly regret. ESPECIALLY after now realizing high finance is all about pedigree, which starts from a young age.

On one hand, I am 24, realistically, I am still young and parents are willing to support my aspirations (up to a certain point obviously).

On the other hand, I am 24, an age where if I look at 85% of the people who are achieving the things I want to achieve (IB/PE/Finance or Medicine/Dentistry, etc.), they have been extremely accomplished at 24, and are currently well on their way.

Narrowing it down, I at least know the only routes I am willing to pursue, at all costs:

• Non-Target Econ major --> Networking --> Investment Banking --> Any PE firm
• Biochem --> PostBacc --> Dental School --> Dental Consultant/Dentist --> Healthcare PE
• Biochem --> Research/Post Bacc --> Healthcare PE
• Biochem --> PostBacc --> Biotech Firm/ Healthcare PE

What are your thoughts? Which of these are most realistic? If none, do you have any alternative suggestions? Once again, imagine I am your son, so please comment without bias, you simply want the best for me.

Thank you Wall Street Oasis.

(made some edits to this post, regarding the above pathways, if this sounds absolutely ludicrous to you, keep in mind I am just beginning to figure things out, so please bear with me, thank you!)

 

The ib path to pe is going to be pretty rough given your low gpa, school, and probably lack of network. You also need to figure out what exactly interests you in finance, you mention a passion for markets and trading but you want to do ib? You sound like you just want whatever pays the most, and tbh there is nothing wrong with that.

I also started out in the medicine field with the goal of being an oncologist but quickly figured out that I didnt have a passion for it and that it wasnt the right environment for me. I fucking hated just memorizing shit and the kids that were on similar academic tracks as me were fucking autistic.

In regards to your ib path, you are probably going to have to network pretty hard and start at a small boutique, where the pay probably wont be as good but you will probably get good experience. After a year or two then you can probably lateral to a middle market bank/lower bb? From there you can recruit probably for pe? This is probably the most realistic path for you in regards to ib/pe unless you do the mba which will probably take way too long.

With that being said you are the only person that can define your path, so don't take my suggested path as a fact. I come from a similar no way this guy can do it background and I have made it to the highest possible peak. You will probably hear that certain things might be impossible or that no one with your background has been able to accomplish that, if thats the case then fuck it, be the first one to do it.

I really enjoy this quote by Les Brown and always try to live my life following its message. "Other people's opinion of you does not have to become your reality." Don't feel too down on yourself op, Im also older than most of my peers in school and sometimes I get caught up thinking about how others my age are already working full time within the industry, but I always try to remember that there is no clear path to being great or happy. My journey might had been different and I might have failed a lot, but throughout it all I got up and learned, and met some great people that I would had probably not met if I hadn't failed. Good luck op, feel free to pm me, hopefully some people with more experience can chime in and give you proper advice.

One last thing op, make sure that you always remember this despair that you are feeling, that deep fucking despair that everything is slipping away and that you are a loser. Remember that despair when you are given any opportunity, remember that despair when you want to give up, and remember that despair when you would rather have fun than make a sacrifice, channel that memory as fuel to push past your limits time after time to never experience that despair again.

 
Most Helpful

definitely not too late... but the excuses have to stop. You take some ownership but if you can't fix your work ethic, you're basically fucked. You sound a bit immature and lost, but if you were my son, I'd tell it to you straight.

If you fix your work ethic, you can do whatever you want...so stop trying to map out your entire life and take 1 step...like try getting As and graduating FIRST. If you are sucking at Biochem, maybe just graduate and go the Econ route. It is easier and you can tell a good story about once you switched to Econ/finance, it all "clicked" when you found your passion and what you were good at...

I think you're a little delusional thinking PE or Healthcare PE as if that is some sort of promised land when you are going to learn a lot more about yourself throughout the rest of your 20s+30s...

Sometimes people get caught up thinking they need to figure it all out first...no. Sure, decisions now will close some doors, but you have to choose and go all in or you'll never make any progress. If you choose Econ/IB route for example, you could be spending ~10hrs/week in class, ~15hrs/week doing HW and studying to make sure you get all As and ~20hrs/week starting to build a relevant network and doing as many coffee chats as humanly possible before you graduate to try and land a relevant internship (or 2).

Good luck! Patrick

 

>* Biochem --> PostBacc --> Dental School --> Dental Consultant/Dentist --> Healthcare PE * Biochem --> Research/Post Bacc --> Healthcare PE * Biochem --> PostBacc --> Biotech Firm/ Healthcare PE

none of these are realistic

 

I usually just shitpost on this website partly because I’m always worried about anonymity and partly because I’m just an asshole. Disclaimers aside, I’ll tell you more of my personal story than I have ever shared online because our situations are comparable and I’ll give you some guidance my father gave me that I think about often. I shot heroin for the first time at sixteen years old, in high school, and I didn’t stop until I was twenty one and switched to IV crack instead. My drug using experience ended in a fourteen day psychosis most of which I spent blacked out. I woke up in a psych ward and started reading Lone Survivor, a military novel that I would highly recommend. My dad finally tracked me down at the psych ward, I was admitted for release and he gave me the option of homelessness or a shot at rehab and sobriety. I, of course, chose rehab. I was lucid during the day of travel, and blacked out again in rehab. While we spent a night in a hotel we began discussing the book and my dad sat me down with a piece a paper. As a former service member he then laid out where I was in Marcus Luttrell’s story. He explained all the steps Luttrell would have to go through to become a navy SEAL, one by one. He continued to explain that I would have to choose where I wanted my life to end up and work backward. Using the analogy of the journey to becoming a SEAL he explained the importance of taking everything one step, or even one day at a time. All you have to focus on is the next small step, then the next small step, and so on and so on until you’ve reached your dream to the best of your ability. It sounds like your problem is thatyou are unsure of your dream. I’ve found mine and I know it because I’m incredibly satisfied working towards it step by step until I land a role in IB. A few weeks ago I again felt as lost as you do. I was miserable without working towards a dream, and debating if I even could, or wanted to end up in IB. I feel better as I make small steps towards my dream, so my advice to you is to decide on the small steps one by one, and you’ll know you’ve found your dream when accomplishing the admittedly small tasks is satisfying. My situation is similar to you as we are about at the same place school wise, and you know what? I’m older than you and so I know you have PLENTY of time. Decide on a dream, hell you can have multiple, and write down every small step to achieving them. As you check steps off the list you can narrow it down by deciding which dream has become the most satisfying or brings you the most happiness by just completing small seemingly unimportant steps. Remember most that you have time, and start small, as long as you are walking forward. Good luck

Gun rights activist
 

Two paths - 1) go full hardo, buckle down get the best grades (Although you had trouble in the past doing this so get your shit right), give it 110% and grind grind grind 2) go full hippie, move to South America or Asia and teach English for a year or two, try starting an online business etc

 

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