I need to get over her
Fiancée broke up with me in the beginning of November. We were supposed to be married this past Monday. I miss her. I can’t stop thinking about the very woman that was going to be my wife. We haven’t contacted each other since as I respect her and her decision. I want to talk to someone I’m close to, be it a friend or family member, but I already bugged them about this and it definitely helped to talk to them - I just feel stupid feeling this way after roughly 2 months as they think I’m better. But knowing I would’ve been married to her this week kills me. It’s weighing me down. I went out with other girls, but I’m just not feeling it. I legit miss her - I thought she’ll be my wife. I missed out on so many interviews (interviews I worked hard on getting) and school deadlines cause I can’t think straight. I can’t sleep or concentrate.
Sorry for your loss.
Yeah it’s WSO but have a little sympathy for the man...
OP, 2 months is no time at all. Of course you’re still going to feel like shit. Hell, it took me the best part of a year to get over an ex, and I wasn’t even engaged to her.
When heavily invested in the relationship, men take longer to get over breakups than women, too. Recommend you stay no contact as this will slow down your recovery and, if you start stalking her Insta and see her with other guys (which she is definitely already doing), it’s going to hurt.
You’ll be alright. Just realise it takes time.
Dam dude don't tell him his ex is already dating other guys! That's harsh!! Have some mercy on the man!
Lol what does a 21 year old like you know about life.... (I’m old :/)
SILENCE INTERN! GO GET ME A FUCKING COFFEE AND REREAD BARRONS UNTIL YOU LEARN FINANCE COMMON SENSE!
Hahahaha I was waiting for someone to DESTROY him. 😂 you did not disappoint me. Here's a banana
You probably have zero appreciation for what this guy is going through because you have never had a serious romantic relationship with another person that went long term. Considering the lack of maturity displayed in your post I would imagine you are a young undergrad who's got a lot to learn. Also this may be a finance focused forum but in case you hadn't noticed this was posted in the off-topic forum. The MS is well deserved.
To OP I sympathize, my girlfriend of about 3 years ended things right as I was going into my SA stint and at times it felt so difficult to focus on anything but what had happened on top of being in a situation where I could not take any sort of personal time. I got really into cycling and just improving my body and poured a lot of the pain and anger I felt into that. It helped me tremendously and also came with a much needed confidence boost. BOL man, hang in there.
Thanks for this answer.
Don't let that guy get you down.
You are looking for an outlet, I get it. What I will tell you is that you should mentally prepare for a long tough road ahead. Breakups in general are tough, but given the current social climate and ability to go out and meet people, things are going to be extremely hard. My advice would be to focus on yourself, take the time to evaluate why things didn't work out and attempt to have a "takeaway" that will make you a better person, for your ex (if things come back around) or for the next person you are with.
I can sympathize with you.... I was in a similar boat, left my job in NYC to move to a tier 2 city and be with someone I had been dating long distance for years. Long story short, things didn't work out. That was almost 2.5 years ago (we got back together for about a year somewhere in there), but I am still not over it.
Just gotta realize that in life, you need to depend on yourself for happiness. Try to not be resentful or worry about things you cannot change. Control the controllables, things will get better bro. If you need to chat or just vent out some feelings shoot me a PM.
This means a lot. Thanks
I can’t relate to your situation, but can sympathize with it. 2 months is not enough time and I’m sure this being the week you would have gotten married makes it worse. Like others said, focus on yourself, get your gpa up, network, get that job you want, workout, pick up a new hobby - whatever keeps your mind busy and helps you stay healthy. Take it slow, you’ll get over this.
Don’t sweat it. If that’s what she wants then so be it. There will be reminders from all angles, just ignore and move on. If you can stand on your two feet and breathe on your own, you are good. Meditate, tap into a higher level of thinking and being. You are not your emotions - those are just reactions, not who you actually are. Marriage is a whole different deal, you aren’t missing out on much there so don’t even worry about that. Once again, learn the power of mediation.
“You are not your emotions - those are just reactions, not who you actually are.”
You ever Meditations?
Are you currently in business school? When I was doing my MBA in business school, November during the first semester was right around the time where people in prior relationships (many of them long distance) would break up. In my year this not only included couples in regular relationships, but also couples who were engaged and even a handful of couples who were already married (Basically, they ended up getting a divorce during the 1st year)
Virtually all who broke up with their pre-business school partners ended up in new relationships.
Covid probably complicates things quite a bit with everything being remote or hybrid, but in any other year, you would be meeting new people on a regular basis and would organically develop new relationships. I've only been dumped once in my life (all other long-term relationships, I was the one who initiated ending it) but that one time was enough to make me know how shitty of a feeling it is, so I can empathize somewhat with what you are going through. Just remember that while things feel shitty now, there is definitely light at the end of the tunnel. In the meantime, if it's helpful for you to have someone to talk to, you can hit me up.
Really appreciate this.
Did you cheat on her
Wtf?
I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. Recently have been reading this depression series on AoM. Idk if you're going through a depression but I think there is some good advice that can help you manage your pain. I think the only thing that will truly help you will be time and for the time being you're going to go through a lot of suck. But try to distract yourself with activities to help dull the pain. Don't go out drinking or doing drugs. Talking helps but I think the activities are really what will help you out. Go out for a hike, workout, browse WSO or online threads to just entertain or distract you. Right now it's the best thing you can probably do for yourself given this situation.
I went through the same a few years ago. We weren't engaged but dated for 4 years and lived together for 2. All I can tell you is that things get better with time. It's rough at the beginning but you just need to power through until you slowly start forgetting about her. Also, isn't it better that this happened now as opposed to later? Imagine going through a divorce.. custody battle.. You should be thankful that this happened now.
I think it took 8 months for me to fully get over my ex. You emerge stronger and smarter from these experiences and on track to find your true life partner. Stay strong and Merry Christmas.
hey man, i don't know exactly what you are going through but i would be happy to listen if you ever need to vent.
i found therapy to help but it hasn't wiped away the slate of sadness i still feel.
i think time and better experiences will help ease your pain and that is what i am hoping for too.
Thanks for this answer.
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