iBankingOasis.com and Google to Merge

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Rank: Senior Chimp | 22

New York, NY - In an unprecedented move, Google has announced "a merger among equals" with the leading investment banking forum, iBankingOasis creating "iGoogleOasis". CEO Eric Schmidt sites the "unbelievable synergies" and "attractive niche segment" as reasons for the merger.

Wall Street was not convinced, however. Google's stock dropped 99.7% on annoucement of the merger, to $1.13 before shares were halted. "The market obviously believe that google has paid a significant premium whcih it is unlikely to recover" says vetern Goldman Sachs technology analayst Rahul Sharma. "Come to think of it, we might have made a bit of a mistake" said Co-founder Sergei Brin on Kudlow & Company.

Broader markets however seemed unphased as the Dow crossed the 13,300 barrier for the first to, settling at 13,312 while the S&P 500 remained mostly unchanged. One notable exception was Time Warner (TWX) which plunged 45% to a new 52-week low. CEO Richard Parson pleaded on CNBC "Please don't punish us for Google's stupidity. We all know the AOL merger wasn't the greatest idea, but we didn't have anything to do with this one thankfully."

Meanwhile public opinion has remained mixed on the issue. NYC Sanitation worker, Ed Giancon says "It's about damn time 'Goggles' got what was coming to them, good thing I didn't buy their IPO" while Stanford junior Sherry Jun exclaims "I have been waiting for this for this news for the longest time, perhaps igoogleoasis will be better able to gauge the median class of 2007 analyst salaries now."

iBankingOasis executives were not avaliable for comment.

Comments (11)

May 7, 2007


May 7, 2007


May 8, 2007

Good one :)

May 8, 2007

very very nice

May 8, 2007


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May 8, 2007


May 8, 2007

hehehe...but i read somwhere tht microsoft and yahoo r off merger talks and now looking at partnership proposals

May 8, 2007


May 8, 2007

Nice work!

May 9, 2007

LMAO, with this merger, maybe IBankingOasis mobile is on the way! Think of the possibilities!!!

May 10, 2007