Thanks for reading in advance.
Basically the title. I'm 22 and I've known this guy for 2 years. During the 1st year, he cheated on me and when that didn't work for him, he became interested in sister of the girl he was cheating on me with and also had random 1 night stands without my knowledge. I forgave him for all that.
However, now, he's with another girl and was seeing her while we were still together without my knowledge. Even though I know it probably won't last long like before, he's serious about her and I can't just let go. I'm emotionally drained because he's like the only guy I love/have ever loved and he is the first person I fell in love with(I believe there are no seconds). I'm self destructive and have isolated myself. I'm just in terrible state, I just don't know what to do. I've tried moving on(this happened almost a month ago) but I just can't. I've been crying all this evening. I've lost weight because I don't eat(or if I do, I puke it out because my body doesn't accept it), I have dark circles, I'm weak, I just feel sick. My health and social life has deteriorated. I haven't been working for a week(I'm not worried about my job as I had already resigned, I'm just worried about my new job at that is starting in January). I don't think I can carry on like this and I've been thinking about ending myself and putting an end to this once and for all.
Have you ever found yourself in a situation like this? What did you do about it? Any advices from fellow monkeys because I need them right now.