I'm not a f***king real estate agent

Colonizer's picture
Rank: Orangutan | 292

Every time I tell girls I work in Real Estate they automatically assume I am a residential real estate agent. How should I rebrand myself to let girls know I am a highly intelligent commercial real estate professional?

Comments (97)

  • Analyst 1 in IB-M&A
May 26, 2020

Alright

    • 52
May 26, 2020

Maybe don't use your job to try and pick up chicks? CRE isn't sexy.

When asked about work I just tell people real estate, and when they ask about housing I respond saying "I believe it's strong but I work with buildings."

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May 26, 2020
MonopolyMoney:

CRE isn't sexy.

Depends on the City - I work in CRE is basically cat nip in DC.

Jun 2, 2020

Anything that isn't politics is sexy in DC.

    • 5
May 27, 2020

RE developer is ranked as one of the sexiest jobs by women, I read that somewhere. Must be true.

Jun 20, 2020
C.R.E. Shervin:

RE developer is ranked as one of the sexiest jobs by women, I read that somewhere. Must be true.

I know a guy who uses the term "RE Developer" when first meeting girls. He fixes and flips homes in crappy neighborhoods, at times for profit (not all the time lol). It worked from 2013-2017, but then he became just another ex-banker turned wannabe investor.

Jun 2, 2020
MonopolyMoney:

When asked about work I just tell people real estate, and when they ask about housing I respond saying "I believe it's strong but I work with buildings."

Houses are buildings

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

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Funniest
May 26, 2020

get a job in banking you joke

    • 97
    • 6
May 26, 2020

Then he would be getting pissed about being called a bank teller.

    • 41
Jun 1, 2020

Ryan told me to always tell a woman you work in finance

  • Prospect in IB - Gen
Jun 2, 2020

My dad literally asked me what the difference was between bank teller and investment banker when I told him about my SA.

    • 5
May 27, 2020

What if he was in REIB?

    • 4
May 28, 2020

I think bankers are least successful when it comes to the dating scene because there is a stereotype that men in banking positions are assholes. So unless a woman wants to be with an asshole, she would not be picking a banker.

  • Intern in IB-M&A
May 28, 2020

Women are attracted to assholes. Nice guys have no backbone and lack confidence that makes a woman's pussy drier than the Sahara

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  • Analyst 1 in RE - Comm
Jun 4, 2020

I'm sorry but this is too good

    • 4
Jun 4, 2020

Lmao

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Most Helpful
  • Analyst 1 in RE - Comm
May 26, 2020

Tbh I don't mind when a girl makes this mistake at all. If she fancies herself as too good to go out with / be hit on by a resi broker then chances are I just dodged a bullet in the form of a gold digging b****.

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  • Incoming Analyst in IB - Gen
Jun 20, 2020

Preach

  • Developer in RE - Comm
May 26, 2020
Colonizer:

I am a highly intelligent commercial real estate professional

Just say that, I'm sure every girl will instantly ask you to marry her then

    • 25
  • PM in HF - Macro
May 27, 2020

I have to apologise upfront this used to be me, now after watching Selling Sunset I think I might just quit my job and become a real estate agent lol

    • 8
May 27, 2020

Tell them you're actually AN INSECURE PUSSY

    • 60
May 27, 2020

This is the answer you were looking for op

  • Associate 2 in Acct - Other
May 27, 2020

As funny as this thread is, I think it could be a bit of a wake up call to the young adults who have the "Wharton > GS > KKR" mindset. Yes, it's prestigious and a path that few can follow. But in the real world, nobody gives a shit what you do. To them, you're a bank teller (or in OP's case, an estate agent).

If you primary reason for wanting to do a job is the prestige, your motivations are misguided.

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  • Intern in IB-M&A
May 27, 2020

To be fair though PE associates can flex and get laid while bankers are seen as scum.

    • 1
  • Analyst 2 in CorpDev
May 27, 2020

This is assuming chicks even know wtf PE is. You think the 10 that's only modeled has any idea the difference between a PE investor and the guy that advises her pappy what mutual fund to invest in at UBS?

    • 9
Jun 9, 2020

The average girl doesn't know what PE is, probably the average guy for that matter. The interns/students here are 10/10...you guys think that girls follow the same thought process when assessing whether or not they will have sex with a guy as you guys do about prestige on WSO.

Here is a suggestion: don't talk about work, TRY to be interesting, have fun, have a genuine conversation.

    • 1
May 29, 2020

Say it again for those who are too dumb to understand this fact.

Jun 4, 2020
Associate 2 in Acct - Other:

As funny as this thread is, I think it could be a bit of a wake up call to the young adults who have the "Wharton > GS > KKR" mindset. Yes, it's prestigious and a path that few can follow. But in the real world, nobody gives a shit what you do. To them, you're a bank teller (or in OP's case, an estate agent).

If you primary reason for wanting to do a job is the prestige, your motivations are misguided.

If you want to use your job to get laid / impress randos, you should go be a doctor, join the military, or be an actor (preferably with major Hollywood roles). Those are the only ones I've seen actually impress random chicks. Finance does not impress anyone who isn't connected to it, and lawyers are only a little bit better.

    • 1
May 27, 2020

I work for a big AM firm. We have an 'Asset Management' department. They manage our laptops, iPhones and shit.

On a different topic, I had a friend who was a PM for about $1B in assets. When he told his family that he was a Portfolio Manager they were like 'what is that?' FML, most of the world doesn't care about us.

  • Analyst 1 in IB - Gen
May 27, 2020

Are you saying your asset management division just manages your firms laptops, phones, etc. If so what does your friend being a PM have anything to do with that?

    • 1
May 27, 2020
Analyst 1 in IB - Gen:

Are you saying your asset management division just manages your firms laptops, phones, etc. If so what does your friend being a PM have anything to do with that?

They were two separate stories. My comment has been edited to clear that up. The first was a joke that the "asset management" department at a quarter trillion dollar asset manager doesn't manage any assets worth talking about. The second was that you can actually be a big-shot in the field and not even have your own family know what you do.

    • 2
May 27, 2020

are you trying to network or get some? who gives a fuck what they think? just say "I'm in commercial real estate" if they say "oh my dad does that too, he's with Remax!" just say "ah ok" and if they go "oh what's that?" then you can explain.

if they're talking to you, they're still interested, lose your ego and refocus the conversation on the prospect, that's how you close.

May 27, 2020

For real, unless you want a gold digger, any adult won't care what you do as long as you are financially responsible.

  • Intern in IB-M&A
May 27, 2020
thebrofessor:

are you trying to network or get some?

What about both?

    • 1
May 27, 2020
thebrofessor:

if they say "oh my dad does that too, he's with Remax!" just say "ah ok" and if they go "oh what's that?" then you can explain.

Then you can explain how her dad is a lowly pleb and how you (a highly intelligent commercial real estate professional) should be her daddy now

    • 7
May 27, 2020

I'm just saying what type of haircut do you have?

May 27, 2020

It's called "The Douche"

    • 2
May 27, 2020
John Pierpont:

It's called "The Douche"

After three months in quarantine, I think "The Douche" would be a big upgrade for me.

    • 1
May 27, 2020

tho as a rule you should never tell people what you do unless specifically asked...and the first time a girl asks what you do, you should joke and tease her a bit (for like 10 seconds)...but then you should say "i work in structured finance...like when Donald Trump uses a hotel he owns as collateral to buy a golf course, and he needs outside investors to add more money to buy whatever new asset he's trying to buy because he's not as rich as he claims...and the new investors don't trust Trump, because obviously why would you....but they think the golf course will do well....so they do all sorts of complex ownership structure stuff to protect themselves...sometimes that includes actually getting involved in the real estate....all of that stuff gets wrapped into structured finance...and that's what i do"

at this point, you can transition into some funny crazy story about an eccentric billionaire like Trump that makes them seem crazy stupid...and just like other normal people with all our eccentricities...and then trnasition to stories about your friends, family, coworkers etc...to get off the "work topic" (which 99% of girls will not ask about any further).

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  • Associate 2 in Acct - Other
May 27, 2020

Ask me how I know you don't get girls

    • 28
May 27, 2020

10/10 would support the up front troll, though. I used to tell girls that I'm a goat farmer in upstate New York. I can assure you this makes a more impressionable first encounter than "I work in private equity." A little humility and a good sense of humor goes a lot further than trying to impress people with pedigree.

    • 1
May 27, 2020

i'll ask my wife and my side piece

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    • 3
May 27, 2020

Either say you're in commercial real estate or real estate finance. Anything more and you'll sound like a tool unless they ask you for more detail

I'm a fun guy. Obviously I love the game of basketball. I mean there's more questions you have to ask me in order for me to tell you about myself. I'm not just gonna give you a whole spill... I mean, I don't even know where you're sitting at

May 27, 2020

If she does that she ain't for you. In that case, help her find a house, but make sure it's either a really shitty deal or in a shitty ass area. Trick her into taking a 30 year mortgage out on it and ditch her. She sucks

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May 27, 2020

Dude, you're just a glorified RE agent, especially if you're selling multi-family and/or under Coldwell Banker.

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    • 3
May 27, 2020

But he's at a much more prestigious firm!

Coldwell Banker...Richard Ellis

;)

    • 5
May 28, 2020

+1 for pointing that out

"The three most harmful addictions are heroin, carbohydrates, and a monthly salary." - Nassim Taleb

May 28, 2020

Before you start to say anything, just showing off your visiting card like I do.
And not mention too much your profession in your talking like one time he were asking about sign board and suddenly I said we can make you any signs in Vancouver - real estate signs, courtyard signs, LED signs, sandwich boards, and much more - a quarter cheaper than the market average.

Don't you believe it, do you?

Quality signs - 25% cheaper!

http://quartercheapersigns.ca/
We will make you any signs in Vancouver - real estate signs, courtyard signs, LED signs, sandwich boards, and much more - a quarter cheaper than the market average.

May 28, 2020

You're not a real estate agent, you just sell houses? I gotchu

May 28, 2020

You should "rebrand" the girls you're meeting. If you tell them you're in Real Estate and the first thing they think is " oh he's an agent" clearly they lack some brains. Not worth your time ... trust me.

    • 2
May 28, 2020

Show that you are rich. Most normal girls are not interested if youre doing banking, CRE of PE. They are interested if you could provide her a happy life, i.e. expensive stuff and status.

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    • 2
May 28, 2020

What a wonderful way to attract the wrong type of girl

    • 4
Jun 2, 2020

C'mon. It's funny. Sometimes it's true.

Way too much focus on superficial stuff - look at average income people having $100K weddings. All the build up to the wedding and Seychelles honeymoon...then you gotta live with the person.

So funny - where I live, so many people who were "status friends" are no longer friends once the kids are little bigger - people get real (and 50+% are divorced by then)

May 28, 2020

hahaha so true and simple

Jun 2, 2020

HELL YEAH!

(((laughing)))

May 28, 2020

ryan gosling face

    • 3
May 28, 2020

gosling

    • 1
May 28, 2020

Absolutely nobody gives a fuck what you do for a living. Maybe talk about some other aspect of your life. No one at the bar wants to hear about the ins and outs of your professional life. No one. Tell them about your hobbies or something. This is so cringe.

    • 3
Jun 1, 2020

I'd slightly dissagree. Not interested - yes, but you are getting asked the What-do-you-do question by default, don't you? In Germany, for example, what-do-you-do and for-which-company-do-you-work are default questions for getting to know someone, lol.

    • 2
May 28, 2020

"Do you know what business led to the most # of millionaires? Real Estate. You know what they say about dudes that do big deals baby..."

May 29, 2020
  • Analyst 1 in RE - Other
May 30, 2020

I can relate to OP
I work in RE PE, and when people ask what I do for a living, I usually put a strong emphasis on the PE part of my work
tbh RE isnt sexy or very exciting at all, the returns are (or at least at my firm)

Jun 1, 2020

Well, in my frontier/emerging market almost no one knows what investment banking and equity research is, so they either assume I am a bank teller, or a forex scammer lol. If it is first, it is still okay, if second, I get attacked for 'being a scammer' lol...

    • 1
Jun 2, 2020

Call it commercial real estate, or real estate development. Or say I'm in real estate, like [ ] and name your favorite firm.

Whenever I say investment banking, all of a sudden everyone thinks you're a financial advisor and asks for stock picks. #DUH It's annoying.

Unless a young lady is in the biz, you're likely going to have to explain it to her - sell it!

Maybe these broads should be worried about what THEY do for a living, to get YOUR attention, I mean, hello, women need to get themselves a good job. This is not 1952.

Jun 8, 2020

Real estate is for C students bro

    • 1
Jun 8, 2020

Confessions from a woman, from real experience:

  1. If I am not in your industry, I don't care unless I genuinely find what you do interesting. This guy once talked nonstop for 20 minutes about how connecting trains worked, and all I remembered was I ran out of wine.
  2. When you brag about how much you make, perhaps entertain the possibility I could make more than you. Some of my past dates didn't think it through.
  3. If I'm in the same industry and we can actually bond over an intellectual conversation? Sign me up. Bonus: If you can FLIRT with me with real estate references? Jackpot.

The ultimate tip to getting laid: figure out what SHE does, what SHE likes, what SHE is passionate about. This isn't about you. It's about getting to know her.

    • 1
Jun 9, 2020
QuarterLifeCRE:

This guy once talked nonstop for 20 minutes about how connecting trains worked

Dam sounds kinda interesting tho

    • 1
Jun 11, 2020
Comment

Array

    • 1
Jun 24, 2020
Jun 25, 2020
Comment

heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

https://arthuxtable.com/