In this day and age, is it okay for someone in early 20s to not have any social media presence?


I went through a break up as you can see from my posts, and I permanently deleted my Facebook, IG and Snapchat (yeah, they actually let you do that now). The only two social media accounts I have right now are LinkedIn and Twitter to stay connected and informed. I’ve even deleted those others from my phone. I was addicted to them at one point, I would post everything and I actually maintained a food blog/diary/whatever. The reason for deleting them was because they were adding to my post break-up “depression” so I decided to take a break initially but then deleted them because I would always reactivate them.

Anyway, whenever someone asks me if I have FB or IG and I tell them I don’t, they always think it’s “weird” and automatically question my credibility, at least the girls from dating apps would (before I started seeing my gf).

Also, I’ve noticed that ever since I’ve deleted them, I’ve been unaware of the “small talk” happening around town. I mean being out of loop. Sometimes I wish I hadn’t deleted them.

Comments (19)

Most Helpful
Nov 22, 2019 - 9:33pm

You're experiencing fomo but frankly you aren't missing out on jack shit unless you want to see the basic "take me back to Jamaica" posts plus the small talk you mentioned is not going to benefit your career goals or make you feel any better about your situation. Before you even go for chicks you got to lift weights, do things you enjoy and become secure emotionally, financially and mentally. The clubs, chicks & parties will always be there but you have to get rid of your post breakup depression, start loving yourself again or boosting your self esteem so you can focus on what is important. Take control over your life and choose the path you want to go down, either way don't feel regret when you look back at it later in life.

Nov 23, 2019 - 10:08am

This deserves more SBs. Completely accurate.

I also had no social media when I met my now fiancée. She didn’t really care at all. Not all girls are are so centered on social media. I created an IG as a personal photo album. But the apps are deleted off my phone.

“The three most harmful addictions are heroin, carbohydrates, and a monthly salary.” - Nassim Taleb
Nov 23, 2019 - 11:42am

Thanks, that was a nice response.

A few things I would like to clarify, I don’t necessarily miss the small talk and gossip. I’ve noticed that I’ve been out of loop, unaware of certain things, and I guess I just miss staying informed, especially about my friends from school (they all live in different cities now) and my extended family.

Also, I mentioned the dating apps as an example as people often rely on these other social media accounts to support someone’s credibility. I’m not using dating apps anymore, I’m not depressed anymore, a lot better emotionally and health wise, and I have moved on (have a gf now).

Nov 23, 2019 - 8:16am

Maybe this will be an unpopular opinion but I don't think I could say with conviction that it's fully okay/normal for someone in our age range. I'd say it's understandable but not the norm, at least from my experience in my wider social circle anyway. I don't use Facebook a whole lot anymore (certainly never post anything myself on there) but I still maintain a presence on there just because it's a kind of a formality that you have to partake in to be seen as a normal/chill guy that people want to associate with. Just one of those things you have to do. I do use instagram more often, but more for the occasional travel photo every few months etc.

I'd say especially if you're into dating apps then it would become particularly important. Even if your social media profiles are fully private, the simple fact that someone can see you're on there adds to your credibility significantly. Again, just one of those things you have to do in this era.

Nov 23, 2019 - 12:00pm

I would set up a LinkedIn profile with your latest resume info, but you don't have to browse LinkedIn or post.

Be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes.
Nov 23, 2019 - 12:25pm

I only have social media profiles for work related reasons but I do think it would be odd if someone doesn't have IG or FB. I know many woman will not go on a date with someone who does not as it doesn't help with the whole safety thing. Personally I wouldn't go out with someone who doesn't have an IG/FB profile either - just too weird. Just make one and don't be that active on it?

Nov 23, 2019 - 1:57pm

Sometimes I wonder if not having Snap is hurting my game

Why can’t we just all text though - I don’t like the animal cute ears nose shots though forreal so definitely don’t want more of that in my life.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

Nov 23, 2019 - 3:33pm

Honestly who cares? If people you meet have social media fine. If they really want to contact you texting/email always exists. If somebody rides you off as anti-social or awkward good for them. Meet new friends. Not everyone is going to praise you in life, but you can always find some geeks like you who you can be friends with. At any rate social media is a distorted reality where people choose to post what they want to and often it just ends up being a platform to flex on. Go out into the real world and gain some real experiences.

Nov 23, 2019 - 4:25pm

Also there’s a reason a lot of the founders/ execs of social media giants don’t let their kids use it. It’s designed to be addictive.

Also, why does it matter if everyone says you should bend to conformity at the will of others to appear normal? Fuck that. Do what you want. You have one life and then you die. If this one life you decide to not use social media, go for it. Anyone who doesn’t understand is too distracted and too addicted to that shit anyway. Just pretending everything is fine when it’s not. Fuck that.

“The three most harmful addictions are heroin, carbohydrates, and a monthly salary.” - Nassim Taleb
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