What do discuss during coffee/lunch meetings?

Hi everyone,

I have a fairly simple question. What have you guys found to be good discussion topics when you are able to network with other people? I'm from a non-target school (undergrad), so it is critical for me to be able to make a good impression whenever I network. As a natural introvert, I have to make a concerted effort to have good conversation. I can do it, and I can do it well, but I can't just wing social interactions as well as others.

I know there are generic questions like:
Do you enjoy what you do?
How is the company culture?
Discuss challenges and difficulties in the field
etc...

But are there other good conversation topics that you guys have found to work well? I ask this in a more general sense. Obviously if you know a little bit about the person you're speaking to, you can ask more specific questions.

Thanks for any/all input.

 
Best Response

foolproof combo (in this order):

  1. small talk
  2. ask how they got started
  3. ask about the work (what's the most exciting part of your work? what's your favorite deal/stock/trade as of late?)
  4. shut up while they talk, after they finish piggyback on their answers .... .... .... ....
  5. ask for advice on how to get started

here's the deal. 30 year old associates/VPs and 45 year old MDs know what's up, you shouldn't have to bullshit too much, they know a 21 year old college kid isn't looking for a "buddy." they want to ascertain 2 things:

  1. are you smart enough to work in and are you interested in my industry?
  2. are you worth helping out?

I'm of the opinion that the best way to get them to think "yes" to both of those is by asking thought provoking questions. people will think you're asking thought provoking questions if you can get them talking about themselves and then ask questions that piggyback off of that. nobody cares nor do they want to hear how you've made 50% on your TSLA trade in your hypothetical investopedia account nor do they care to hear that you spend weekends modelling imaginary companies for your microecon class to show what a hard worker you are. what I'm saying is during coffee talk, technicals probably don't matter. feel free to incorporate stories into your questions, but keep it focused on asking good questions about THEM and THEIR opinions.

for example, if someone says they got into Asset Management (I know more about this than banking) after their dad got blown up during the nifty fifty debacle, ask what did you do to get up to speed? what'd you learn by reading warren Buffett/bart biggs/john templeton/phil fisher/etc? you started trading at 15? what was your first trade? why? how'd it work out? what was your best trade ever? why? worst trade ever? what did you learn?

capiche?

 

Thanks Brofessor, that was really helpful.

I've been trying to do essentially what you're saying, but probably not as efficiently. The only difference is I'm only 19, so my achievements hold even less weight. I did make 45% on HPQ stock with my college tuition, but what you're saying makes sense. But that's nothing compared to a whole to what these people have done.

Interestingly, the guy who met me today made this comment: "most college students are overbearing and annoying".

Fortunately, apparently I do not fall in this category.

 

Don't worry about bragging or anything too much. Pretty similar to what @"thebrofessor" said. (I put much more emphasis on #2 since I think most people I meet fulfill #1 or can fake it).

Let's do an imaginary scenario right now... Let us assume that you have gotten the person to a coffee shop.

you - hey, how are you? thanks for taking the time to meet up. Know you are busy.

him/her - Sure anytime. (they might ask you questions - feel free to answer them). If they ask you about yourself, properly introduce yourself.

you - Tell them the long version (with the warning, but keep it to like 10 minutes - assuming a 30 minute coffee total). "hey this will take a few minutes, but since we are just meeting for the first time, I want to give you a solid picture of who I am..." Where you are from, what your parents do, your siblings, how you got into college, what activities/hobbies you liked, what you do in college now, why you chose your major. And wrap it up with why/how you met them and want to hear their advice... Now the person knows something about you.

Ask them for the long version about themselves. Now the person might cut you off during your spiel and ask about your hobbies or choices, just explain them honestly (For example: I don't know why I chose econ, really, but I like it because I think the train of thought can be applied anywhere, or I like game theory and here is why etc so I stuck with it).... Hell maybe you share a hobby or activity (that's huge, that's bonding material, like I have played hockey since I was 4 and here is what I like about it etc etc). Maybe they did the same thing as you (ie. stuck with a random major, played hockey etc).

him/her - long version of themselves, their background, their life etc.Feel free to ask questions in the middle, but if they are animated and talk a lot keep letting them talk. This will segway into how they got into where they are today/what they do. People generally like to tell their long version of their story because it is so rare that people ask them something like that and bother to spend more than 30 seconds about them that it's nice.. it feels good.

You - what do you like most about what you do? Look at what unit/desk they work in and a little bit of what they do.. Ask how their desk makes money (or how this year has been). Or "I understand that traders make a spread but in what products do you make the most? Who trades them? How do you work with sales?" What is the most interesting thing in what you do? What do you do on weekends?

The work part of the conversation might only last for 1-10 minutes. And that's ok. You want people to feel positive about you. You know why you are there and they know why you are there. These are the people that will push for you and get you in the door. The probably won't back some dude who just wants to talk shop all day long. They do that for a living anyway.

Here is what you are going to do to practice since you say your are an introvert. Get some really good friends of yours. 1v1 for lunch or coffee or a beer. Literally do the above and explain to them that you are an interovert and are trying to work on it (if you have good friends they will totally hang out with you - if not find some new friends)... Ask them about themselves and tell them to talk as long as they want. Literally, say, hey bro/sis, tell me about yourself. The long version. Where are you from, what do your parents do, siblings? Where are your from etc.... Ask questions in the middle, at a transition point or at the end. Time will FLY and you will learn a lot about people-like friends that you did not know. But you have to be ready to talk similarly when they ask you the same questions.

Hell I have recently starting doing this with people I have known for years and there is just so much I didn't know about them and what drives them, how they think etc.

OK - next you are going to approach nice people. Maybe people you don't know as well, but you like and think are nice good people (there are lots of such people in our lives, more than we think). These aren't friends per se, but friendly acquaintances. Arrange a coffee/lunch.

Here's the starter, after some small talk (if at all), just be like "hey I've known you for a little or x time period, and although we might not be close, I just think that you're a cool/good person and just want to get to know you better/more. I think today that so many of us don't know about those around us. Like where we are from, our parents, our hobbies etc. So I am going to introduce myself."

And do it.

And then ask them to introduce themselves.

You'll be amazed of how open people can be and how much they like to talk about themselves, what they like what they don't like etc. Some people might think it is weird and balk at it. You can always add a caveat that it doesn't have to be too personal, or that you don't want to be intrusive, just get to know them better

Then you can work the magic with MDs. It's all about being comfortable. Like anything, practice at it.

Good Luck

I used to do Asia-Pacific PE (kind of like FoF). Now I do something else but happy to try and answer questions on that stuff.
 

You need to establish and build anrelationship whenever you get the chance to. So you ask how ? BS a little bit in the beginning. How did you get into PE or Investment Banking etc etc.. What made you choose that field over another. That guy above is right. You need to build on their responses. ie - they tell you that they have an interest in private equity... Well .. In what sector ? Healthcare? Why healthcare etc etc.. Get the gist?

 

In my opinion, the people that do best during informational interviews are those that are active speakers and active listeners, smile, show some knowledge of the firm and their market and can connect on a personal level. It sounds like the least innovative approach but so uncommon to find people who are impressive just by being themselves. It also shows how you would deal with future clients and prospective clients and builds a lot of trust in your capabilities from day one. You also don't risk hitting someone 'off-guard' - try a gimmick with the wrong person and they may never want to work for you. Much better than some "gimmick" approach like Will Smith's rubik's cube trick in the Pursuit of Happiness or Leo's cold call bet in Wolf of Wall Street.

 
Steinig:
Good attitude, poor effort. Should hustle more. Go do some google work.

Thats what I was thinking. I think he is just copy and pasting the same questions to all kinds of industry boards, weak effort to the max.

When I was that age I wanted to own a nightclub (who didnt) I spend hours up all night reading everything I could about bar/restaurant ownership.

This day and age with Google, do some of your own research first, then come with specific questions, not a copy and paste homework assignment.

We've got half a million shares in the bag!
 

The questions are pretty general in order to get feedback from different positions in investment banking. I know it looks like a copy and paste job but I'm genuinely interested in your responses to these general questions. Had they been very specific, I would've probably went straight to the particular bank's website, and contacted them. I'm just asking for everyone's individual experience and different voices. Fyi, this is the only forum I posted these questions. It's true, I can google and look for answers from different websites - but I am curious to know more about the ibanking experience from the WSO'ers. I find this forum a lot more reliable than others...unless this isn't the place to be asking general questions.

Thanks for the comments, I'll try to clarify my cause for posting next time.

 

in the same boat, non-target / financial federal agency (think SEC, FHFA, OCC) & investment srvcs (think State Street, BNY Mellon) internships.. have been successful with alumni / crashing more prestigious schools' events more than anything. my strategy: be personable, email back and forth with contact met at event (+ referrals), ask "I've really liked what I have heard about X,Y,Z at firm A; how can I best position myself for an interview?" and usually been well taken care of

IMO, most contacts (especially around this time of year) know what you're trying to do. I usually don't bullshit and get right to the point after a couple back&forths.

long-winded answer: Quality

Array
 
broadstbully:

in the same boat, non-target / financial federal agency (think SEC, FHFA, OCC) & investment srvcs (think State Street, BNY Mellon) internships.. have been successful with alumni / crashing more prestigious schools' events more than anything. my strategy: be personable, email back and forth with contact met at event (+ referrals), ask "I've really liked what I have heard about X,Y,Z at firm A; how can I best position myself for an interview?" and usually been well taken care of

IMO, most contacts (especially around this time of year) know what you're trying to do. I usually don't bullshit and get right to the point after a couple back&forths.

long-winded answer: Quality

Sounds pretty aggressive, although I do somewhat agree that getting straight to the point can be useful at this time of the year. However, there is still plenty of time if you think about it, and I think having an informational interview where you can come off personable and intelligent is more important than just asking for help to get to your position. Either way, they know what your doing, and I think bankers appreciate it when you talk to them about their background and ask good questions. I would try doing this honestly, although I am curious to see how your strategy works out.
"An investment in knowledge pays the best interest." - Benjamin Franklin
 

When I was internship hunting, I always had about 10 contacts in my hand who I felt they would love to help me anytime. Most of my interview came from those 10 ppl. But it doesn't hurt to send a 2-minute email to anyone you have access to because someone you did not expect might eventually help you land the gig.

As a junior in October already, you should feel comfortable, as StudentLoan said, getting right to the point.

 

You're giving them the chance to talk about themselves, so the answers should come pretty naturally. Another good question is, "What advice would you give to a new analyst at this specific firm?"

Metal. Music. Life. www.headofmetal.com
 

I usually follow this pattern.

1) Introduce my self, tell them a little about me 2) A little chit chat about his alma/my college 2) Ask them to give some background on them 3) How did they end up choosing IB? 4) Why the group? 5) How did you end up in the industry? 6) Any advice you would give to someone getting in now? 7) Ask them a little about how training program works at their bank 8) And usually sort of end there with a couple of questions about staying in contact etc

 

Avoid Sunday..

Call at noon tomorrow, leave a message if you haven't already, but if he picks up (which he most likely will), ask him if it is an okay time to talk and continue from there.

Best of luck.

"Salesmen and traders are wild, cunning, aboriginal creatures who advise money managers about deceiving their bosses and finding new strip bars; their favourite phrase is, "Fuck you." IBankers eat fruit. Salesmen and traders eat meat, preferably fried."

Your only goal..especially if this is your first time meeting the person is to walk away with that person remembering your name and enjoying the experience.

It's not a time to ask for a job or an opportunity. Ask for legitimate advice (e.g. Mr. xyz, how did you get your start in consulting, or why did you decide to get into the industry).

Show an interest in that person's work and their life. Find some type of common ground. I reiterate, do not ask for a job..a reference...ect. Wait until you've built a genuine report with this person.

After the 3rd or 4th time meeting or speaking with this person, you can start asking...in a very strategic way...about possible opportunities out there..

 

Try to listen more than you talk. Ask questions which show that you're not yet another monkey who just wants to become a consultant. Show that you're a person others want to work with. It's better to get 1 or two good connections rather than talking for 5 minutes with all members of the firm who participate in the event.

 

He knows that you're looking for a job, there's no need to be aggressive about it. Research the hell out of his firm, research him too, and prepare five or six questions. Know your shtick too; in general, it's good to be practiced enough to walk someone through your resume without it in front of you. If you're prepared, he'll probably notice, which will likely impress him. Most of all, stay conversational. This is a break from work for him, so he might lead the discussion off topic by asking about your interests, if you caught whatever football/hockey/basketball game, etc.

This guy could be one of the better contacts in your network going forward. Asking him for a job might piss him off, and even if it doesn't chances are his group isn't hiring. He is far more useful as an advocate. Talk to him about the job market in general, he may offer to reach out on your behalf. And make sure to follow up afterwards thanking him for his time, and with your resume (if he asks for it).

"There are three ways to make a living in this business: be first, be smarter, or cheat."
 

It's best to forget that the conversation is an informational interview. Don't do too much of the talking, and listen to what the person has to say. In response to "I never know how to respond when the person I call gives a generic answer to a generic question," the simplest solution would be to not ask generic questions! Have some questions in mind, but pay attention to the natural flow of the conversation and ask questions to build on top of it. That'll take the pressure off of the both of you, allow the conversation to be fun and unique, and ultimately make you more memorable.

 

The very fact that people refer to them as "informational interviews" is a terrible thing. They're conversations! You know, with normal human beings? I see so many posts asking "how do I network?" "what do I do for an informational interview?" and so on. You'd think half the people on this site had never had human interaction before..... Be yourself, remember that the person you are speaking to is just another human being. You both have at least one mutual interest and the person on the other side of the coffee table / other end of the phone just wants to know more about you and whether you can benefit them in some way.

Advice not just to the OP but to everyone on this site who asks really anal questions about networking and talking to people - if you cannot talk to people without planning it out and analysing it in every single detail, you will not go very far. Sort it out.

/Saturday morning pre-coffee rant over

 

It might sound like an interrogation because you're simply asking questions for the sake of asking questions.. So agree with Asatar that you shouldn't be thinking about this as "networking" but simply as having a conversation. You ask questions he/she answers, He/She asks questions you answer. Just as how you would converse with your friends.

Definitely prepare some questions but think of them as conversation starters rather than a check-list...

 

Be a informed but personable person. Try to know some details about the bankers firm, personal history, or general market etc. You didn't state what the position is but most informational interviews are about making a connection and letting the interviewer know you are not incompetent, psychotic, freak show.

Know your story, know how to tell it, and know how to be in the moment and connect with another human.. You're golden.

 

this will sound puzzling to some since I'm in the South, but I'd rather talk business first. I know what the call's about, and quite frankly I get annoyed when people who want something from me don't get to the point.

  1. make sure you didn't catch them in the middle of putting out a fire/delivering a baby/receiving blowjob/client conference call

  2. remind them who you are, reference last conversation (thanks for taking my call, as I said in my email on X date, blahblahblah)

  3. get to your questions. ask intelligent questions about business first, and then shut up (let them talk). take notes, etc. the goal here is to get them to open up as much as possible while still driving the conversation.

  4. towards the end, ask some personal questions (hobbies, school memories, family, etc), then you can find some common ground

  5. set stage for next steps (call again in a couple weeks, stay in touch and give them updates on situation, follow with referral they gave you, whatever)

  6. end call, shotgun beer

I prefer this format because if someone lets me talk about my business for a bit and asks thoughtful questions, I'm going to be more open on making a personal connection with them on something extracurricular. capiche?

 

If you do a good job and the MD trusts the intern, you might be able to get in front of the MD. Essentially, its possible he's using his intern as a first line of defense to test if you are competent or not.

“Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be”
 

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