Is this cover letter any good?

I need to send this asap, so can someone please please have a look

Hello,

I would really appreciate it if someone could please have a look at my cover letter and give their honest, non sugar coded, harsh review -- I learn better that way.

I will pay it forward. I promise.

Background: Applying in UK. Engineering degree, will be doing master in finance next year. Applying to Citi. First internship. Capital Market Origination. Inclination towards DCM.

Link: http://www.scribd.com/doc/118368263/Monkey-Jointhebank?secret_password=…

PS. I don't have anyone to proof read for me, so if you stumble on any grammatical or phrasing error, then please let me know. :)

 

No one reads cover letters. You're wasting your time.

If at all, it should be 2, maybe 3 sentences. And it still will most likely not get read. Email is the new cover letter. And it should be 2 sentences. I'm interested in a banking internship, I was referred by John Williams. Thanks for your consideration

Read my post about UG recruiting. Only purpose a cover letter ever served for me was when I was looking to narrow down a stack of resumes, I'd scan through whoever had a cover letter to see if I saw another firm's name mistakenly left in or any other kind of fuck up.

 
Marcus_Halberstram:
No one reads cover letters. You're wasting your time.

Thank you for your post Marcus. Unfortunately it is quite the opposite in the UK, I have heard from HR at career fairs that a lot of importance is given to the cover letter and then your CV.

I really want this/any internship this summer and I want every little extra chance to get through, so I would really appreciate it if someone could have a read and give me their opinion. Thanks.

Being a prospective monkey I am bound to post stupid comments due to my lack of expert knowledge. I implore you to correct me harshly or constructively, and I will appreciate any learning opportunity.
 

Hm, maybe it is a UK thing. But I'm bit perplexed by your reference to career fairs. There is no investment banking career fair, at least in the US. We do have career fairs for all other types of jobs though and there is a completely different set of rules that apply in that world. So it may be a US vs UK thing, but I'd caution against following career/recruiting advice from any resource that isn't laser focused on banking and intimately familiar with how the hiring process works in our world.

Regardless of the importance placed on cover letters, my 2 cents is its way too long. Less is more.

Good luck.

 

Your third paragraph ("Since the 2008 financial crisis") is superfluous. It's all a bunch of fluffy bullshit about how you're interested in finance, are really hardworking, I love your firm, etc etc. The resume reader is skimming your cover letter at best (since he has another 200 to read). He doesn't have time for a paragraph of it. Make it concrete, ie 'things I have done,' or don't include it.

Also, have you ever had a job or internship? Your first paragraph emphasizes 'stuff I've done in school,' which is ok for a single line on a resume, but pretty weak for a senior/4th year in college, and absolutely does not deserve a 200 word paragraph.

 

No, unfortunately I haven't had an internship before. Most internships are for penultimate students and I couldnt stay back last summer due to personal reasons, so I didn't do it.

The guides, advice from people, Citi's website suggest I need to write about why Citi and why I am choosing financial services - given my engineering background. How could I convey this in the 3rd paragraph and make it shorter? any advice?

Thanks.

Being a prospective monkey I am bound to post stupid comments due to my lack of expert knowledge. I implore you to correct me harshly or constructively, and I will appreciate any learning opportunity.
 

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Being a prospective monkey I am bound to post stupid comments due to my lack of expert knowledge. I implore you to correct me harshly or constructively, and I will appreciate any learning opportunity.

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