Comments (64)

May 24, 2011

hang in there man...UCLA and Berk are great schools. I'd go where you're going to be happiest and excel academically and in leadership positions in your school.

May 24, 2011

I had a (somewhat) similar situation. Ended up choosing to go to a (USNWR) 80+ ranked school over top 25 ranked. I'm kind of happy I did this (love where I'm going to school and the exit ops within this region) and kind of annoyed, too (lost many exit ops, not as good education imho).

If I were you and that depressed, I'd switch to UC LA/Berk in a heartbeat. Remember, UC LA/Berk are both great schools, too, and NYC isn't the only place to start a finance career (LA, SF). If you love Cali and your family is there AND you want to be there, why not transfer to a school there?

Just one guy's opinion, I'm sure other WSO folks will weigh in.

May 24, 2011

it is your fault of choosing NYU then.

Jun 23, 2011

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May 24, 2011

Dude UCLA and Cal will afford you big opps on the west coast. I go to Oregon and got a BB S&T in San Fran as an Anthro major!

Cal will seriously open doors in San Fran and that area is booming. If you want to go home it will work out.

I would caution though, I left my first school and took a year off to transfer to Oregon. It ended working out, but to be honest I was running away from growing up bc I was so damn homesick that I couldnt stand to be away from home (oregon is not home but I spent a year in between my first school and oregon at home).

Make sure you are no running from something you don't want to face, those things will always be better for you in the long run.

If you have already been gone two years, I'd say you've done your time and go home. But make sure to do a lil soul searching and figure out what is best for you. Ultimately going through homesickness will make a man of you and make you more successful in your profession and personal life in the long run.

And if Columbia becomes available to you, I would VERY seriously consider that before heading back west.

My 2 cents, hope I helped.

Jun 23, 2011

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May 24, 2011

One thing you want to consider is if this will be a recurring problem or is it a one time deal. Do you think it would be worth it to tough it out and get over the feeling of homesickness? In the long run, you may have to relocate or move for a variety of reasons so being prepared for that transition will allow you to take hold of opportunities as they present themselves.

However, I think going to NYU is probably a pretty big culture shock from the west coast, and NYU isn't exactly the most "comfy" place to do your undergrad. There really isn't much social support, so I think that might be playing into your perceptions.

Personally, if you can transfer to Berkeley - Haas / UCLA easily and do well I don't see why you shouldn't transfer. Your exit-opps will be great on the west coast and if you are happier than that is all that really matters. Make sure you are doing things for the right reasons, but follow your gut.

Also, if Columbia calls seriously consider it, but even then go where you are happy.

May 24, 2011

If you like to be on west coast for personal reasons, ucla and ucb are great choices (especially ucb for finance or engineering). If you do well in either schools, you have a legit chance of going to some good places in cali

Jun 23, 2011

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May 24, 2011

Are you a troll? UCLA/Berk will open doors to west coast IBD (seems like what you want to do). There are a ton of LA finance people from Cali schools and you could build a deep actionable network from being over there. Like 'Pac said man, "To live and die in LA, where everyday try to fatten our pockets" -- so take it as hard evidence that there's exceptional liquidity. Lastly, dude you seem like a real head case... See a therapist for this travelphobia, it's ridiculous.

May 24, 2011

OP: u really think haas is easier than NYU? highly doubt that

and why dont u transfer directly from NYU? or do u plan on doing the TAG/TAA agreements w/ the CCs ?

Jun 23, 2011

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May 24, 2011

I think happiness should be everyone's top priority so long as you're not severely compromising your professional prospects. I 110% would support your decision to be near family. I'm facing a similar situation except I'm going to be starting FT IBD at a BB in NYC this summer and my entire family and girlfriend of several years are on the west coast.

Transfer to Haas or UCLA. There's quite a few guys that are in my incoming analyst class, both for Menlo Park and NYC.

People tend to think life is a race with other people. They don't realize that every moment they spend sprinting towards the finish line is a moment they lose permanently, and a moment closer to their death.

May 24, 2011

I know your problem. You have a gf you live with and you transferred from the west coast. You haven't taken the time to go meet people because you have someone to fall back on, and that person is (ironically, because you probably love/need her) keeping you from meeting people. If you're going to stay in New York, you have to start going out on double dates or something, you'll never get rid of the homesickness without meeting some new, decent people.

May 26, 2011
D M:

I know your problem. You have a gf you live with and you transferred from the west coast. You haven't taken the time to go meet people because you have someone to fall back on, and that person is (ironically, because you probably love/need her) keeping you from meeting people. If you're going to stay in New York, you have to start going out on double dates or something, you'll never get rid of the homesickness without meeting some new, decent people.

this is what i was thinking but not so far as to say things are holding you back. try go out of your way to meet people and get out of your comfort zone. find some mates you can hang with on weekends. cheer up man you're not alone

Jun 23, 2011

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May 25, 2011

if you want to work in cali then go to school in cali. Seems like the only thing holding you back is your girlfriend.

May 25, 2011

no no im holding her back. if i moved back tomorrow she'd be on the first flight with me. haha thanks guys!

May 25, 2011
Nyctola:

no no im holding her back. if i moved back tomorrow she'd be on the first flight with me. haha thanks guys!

What the hell man. If you want to work in LA then NYU is not really going to help compared to a good CA school.

May 25, 2011

Guys common.. school and academia is easy in undergard.

OP: suck it the fuck up man. Im from Dubai and I was thrown in this country with a few words from my dad: "make me proud"

And I have succeeded, and lovin it... don't hangout with my family anymore in general and I have really changed. Im extremely independent and unattached to Dubai (even friends). I've become extremely career driven. I suggest you do the same.

NYC is an incredible place... from the way you write, your either an insecure Asian or a careless Cali White boy...

Suck it up man. Good luck.

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May 26, 2011
khara 3alekon:

Guys common.. school and academia is easy in undergard.

OP: suck it the fuck up man. Im from Dubai and I was thrown in this country with a few words from my dad: "make me proud"

And I have succeeded, and lovin it... don't hangout with my family anymore in general and I have really changed. Im extremely independent and unattached to Dubai (even friends). I've become extremely career driven. I suggest you do the same.

NYC is an incredible place... from the way you write, your either an insecure Asian or a careless Cali White boy...

Suck it up man. Good luck.

I'm assuming this is a joke.

But if this is actually serious, then this is pathetic.

May 26, 2011
indenturedprimate:
khara 3alekon:

Guys common.. school and academia is easy in undergard.

OP: suck it the fuck up man. Im from Dubai and I was thrown in this country with a few words from my dad: "make me proud"

And I have succeeded, and lovin it... don't hangout with my family anymore in general and I have really changed. Im extremely independent and unattached to Dubai (even friends). I've become extremely career driven. I suggest you do the same.

NYC is an incredible place... from the way you write, your either an insecure Asian or a careless Cali White boy...

Suck it up man. Good luck.

I'm assuming this is a joke.

But if this is actually serious, then this is pathetic.

To be honest, I don't really see what is pathetic about my post, other then you commenting on it with your dumb position... but if you would like me to destroy you, here we go.

This discussion is about a guy in NYU trying to move back to Cali for personal reasons and all you could do was pick out my post to type and unleash your depressed state of mind to boost your reason for existence?... Bro, express your insecurities and additive not value added comments to another writing vehicle, like your suicide letter.

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May 25, 2011

Troll. Lawl.

You got into UPenn CAS? yea right dude. who would not take UPenn over NYU?

May 25, 2011

I can totally sympathize with you. I spent almost all of last summer away from home/friends/gf at an internship. NYC is cool but its not the same as cali. Go where you're happy at.

Making money is art and working is art and good business is the best art - Andy Warhol

May 25, 2011

OP,

I transferred out of NYU into a smaller liberal arts school on the West Coast. Although I can sympathize with you 100%, I think things will really change within a year. PM if you need anyone to talk to.

Jun 23, 2011

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May 25, 2011

Haas kids place in NYC too if you ever want to move back. Go for it.

May 25, 2011

Dude this is life, you can't have it your way regardless of what the Burger King commercials say.

You are making excuses. You are moving from Cali to NYC and freaking out. I came to this country in 2002 from halfway across the world and got put into a parochial school. You think you are feeling alienated? Try not understanding the religion, values, people, jokes, and sometimes even the language.

Look I am not picking on you. I am a 1st gen college kid and wish I had someone whose path I could easily follow (a benefit my siblings have). However, this is your decision. Stop bugging out, stop being depressed, and mopey. Sit down, figure out what your end goal is. Where do you want to be post college? Now, do a pro/con analysis of the different paths you could take to get to that goal. Once you are done doing that, choose the one that fits your profile.

There are kids out there who put their bodies in danger in order to feed themselves and their family. Our problems are trivial compared to that. So lets not freak out and maximize the hand that is dealt to us. In the broad scheme of things, this decision is trivial to the remaining 60+ years of your life.

May 25, 2011

transfer into stern

May 25, 2011

transferring wouldn't solve my problem - i want cali, and to be near my family

my parents have crappy health, my mom is getting kicked out of her house (foreclosure) and my brother is playing with serious drugs. i'm only ending my sophomore year so I'm thinking of taking a leave of absence and taking courses at SMC and trying to transfer into UCLA-business/Econ and MAYBE Berk (I'd much rather be at UCLA).

MY ultimate goal now is to work in LA. I received a PM about this that spoke about how a lot of UCLA/cali people stay in cali forever ---- I am one of those people lol

Really appreciate all your info guys. if you have any more suggestions i'm totally open for anything. Thanks!

May 25, 2011

If you can make the transfer to UCLA or Berk, then go ahead. Clearly you want to be in LA or at least the westcoast, and UCLA from what I hear places quite well. Sounds like you've got a lot of family stuff on your hands too. If you stay in nyc, you probably won't be able to give school or career a 100% effort since you're worried about other things back home anyway.

May 25, 2011

BTW, I don't think your GF is holding you back necessarily. It's more you have no reason to go out because she's around. You have to take the initiative to meet someone. Anyways, good luck figuring it all out. You can definitely go places from berk/ucla, as well as from columbia/nyu (east/west for both)

May 25, 2011

Probably agreed regarding the above. But my parents health, and my brothers possible drug problem is killing me man. I need to be there for my family I think.

Pretty sure I'm gonna skip Berk because I want to be IN LA. Any thoughts on trying out Marshall? I have a good GPA (roughly 3.8) but was told UCLA business-econ major requires a 3.9 for transfer students. Maybe USC marshall is a better alternative for someone interested in finance/business/economics?

May 25, 2011
Nyctola:

Probably agreed regarding the above. But my parents health, and my brothers possible drug problem is killing me man. I need to be there for my family I think.

not to be insensitive, but all of my friends that put aside their goals to be there for their family who were making poor life choices just got dragged down with that anchor. how will you really help him?

May 25, 2011

i love the west coast.

not sure if you're going for SA?? Keep in mind if you work in SF, you'll more than likely cover accts in SEA, DEN, ABQ, LAX, SAN or a combo of a few of those and end up flying at least once a week, versus NYC you'd just be taxi'ing it.

on your GF. You need to emotionally diversify yourself early. have other relationships (non-romantic obvi), hobbies etc. seriously. She's probably not holding you back.

May 25, 2011

good point. if it were weed it would be a diff story. its opium based stuff (oxy, vicodin) or, to be blunt, shit that kills easily.
ive had 2 buddies die from it so far in the past 2 years, can't have my little bro be next

May 25, 2011

I'm gonna wait on columbia, and if i don't get in then I'm seriously going to explore it. I've been making phone calls to UCLA all day to get more info.

Apparently bus-econ requires a 3.9 GPA to transfer into? I don't have that GPA and I got into UPenn CAS so I find it weird...any input?

Thanks guys!

May 25, 2011

man the fuck up and stop bitching about missing your family and shit. Keep your eyes on the prize at all times and stay on track to your long term goal. If you bitch about being away from your family or miss a certain city, then you really need to rethink if high finance is a suitable career for you.

May 25, 2011

does high finance really involve that much travel?

would you really try to wing it if your mom was going into foreclosure and bro was playing with drugs? I've been debating this all day

May 25, 2011

There's nothing you can do about either of those. Especially the foreclosure, but the drugs, too. You'll be able to help your brother a lot more when, in a few years you can afford to send him to rehab. Unless you're the type of brother that doesn't have a problem taking him out back and beating the shit out of him for his own good.

And, yes, high finance involves travel, though it depends on a number of factors. If you're working in energy and work in NYC, be prepared to fly to Texas and other midwestern/southern cities to meet clients, go to conferences, etc. Same if you're working Tech in NYC (going to Cali), FIG in LA (going to NYC), etc.

May 25, 2011

my goal is to work in LA. Unless I get an offer from GS SSG or GSIP, or something similar to that, I'll work in LA building models and helping bus stops merge - i need to be near my family.

I'm chill with traveling for a few days or a week or so at a time, but im not down with months, years, etc. I prob wont be back in cali for six months after this trip.

I keep telling myself "no one ever regrets working more hours on their death bed"

May 25, 2011

note though im terrified of flying and have to take serious medication (klonopin) in order to not have a panic attack in the air every time i fly

and for those of you who've given helpful honest input it means a lot

May 25, 2011

I think level of travel depends not only on sector but also what level you are and kind of deals/projects you are working on

my impression is that an analyst will almost never travel outside the office unless there is a big IPO roadshow. If the analyst is traveling, who is turning the edits?

there is some travel for associates depending on type of deal/size of deal team

VP and MD will travel a lot for discussions, pitches, management presentations, etc

May 26, 2011
deal_mkr:

I think level of travel depends not only on sector but also what level you are and kind of deals/projects you are working on

my impression is that an analyst will almost never travel outside the office unless there is a big IPO roadshow. If the analyst is traveling, who is turning the edits?

there is some travel for associates depending on type of deal/size of deal team

VP and MD will travel a lot for discussions, pitches, management presentations, etc

ur kidding right??? If you dont know, u prob shouldnt say anything.

May 25, 2011

Just go bro

If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford

May 25, 2011

Dude just transfer. You do undergrad once, if you're unhappy, there's no turning back. GS rolls through here (UCLA) at least once a year, the only BB I know of that UCLA won't give you too solid of a chance with is JPM. Otherwise, you'll have plenty of opportunities if you know how to make them. Plus its 75 and sunny tomorrow, low humidity. Meaning the girls will be out in full force in their nice dresses (even though you've got a girlfriend, eyecandy is always nice).

Jun 29, 2011

OP

1) Lives with gf
2) Very homesick
3) Terrified of flying
4) Has 0 friends in a motherfucking NY

...

May 26, 2011

well i spoke to marshall and it looks like i should have a pretty decent shot transferring in there especially with my story. UCLA is very stats driven and even though I have a high GPA it's not a for sure thing.

I think what I may do is take a year long leave of absence and get approval to take courses at UCLA extension. I'll be filling BS requirements I would have needed either way, and then I'll apply to UCLA and USC. If I don't get in, I'll head back to NYC for one more year of hell.

If I get into Columbia (which I should find out tomorrow or the next day) I'd have probably an additional year of college due to their much higher math requirements and what not, so I could still defer my admittance, take those same courses at UCLA and if I don't get into USC or UCLA then just head to columbia.

Feel like I'm saving my pop a lot of money (500 a course at ucla instead of 4k at columbia or nyu) and making sure this is what I want. my dad said he doesn't care about money at this point and just wants me to be happy.

When I became absorbed in finance I just became really naive to social aspects like friends and family, city life (which I'm not a fan of) and what not. New York is not a great place of balance and it's difficult, and expensive to escape into the wilderness. In Cali I can hop in my truck and drive 30 minutes to snowboard or surf.

Thanks all for your input

May 26, 2011

Keep in mind that no matter where you transfer you're going to have to take at least 60 credits (2 years' worth, on a normal class schedule) of courses and the school you transfer to will most likely only accept 60 credits. Make sure you know everybody's transfer deal front to back, it helped keep me from getting completely fucked (initially thought I'd have to take 6 classes/semester AT LEAST, now only have to take 5).

May 26, 2011

This is a good reason to transfer. You need to be somewhere you are happy. I know a bunch of people from my undergrad who were miserable and stuck it out and, surprise, they're unhappy about it today because they don't have the happy memories of college that others do.

Get out while you can. No shame in transferring from NYU to Cal/UCLA. I would suggest you avoid Columbia, though, because it won't cure your homesickness and a lot of the criticisms of NYU (campus life, culture) can be applied to Columbia. For some people, that works. Doesn't sound like it works for you.

May 27, 2011

Khara, I think he was referring to the crass generalizations you were making about undergrad being easy, Asians being insecure, and "careless Cali white boys" (which by the way is new to me). Not to mention your apparent indifference to family and friends.

People tend to think life is a race with other people. They don't realize that every moment they spend sprinting towards the finish line is a moment they lose permanently, and a moment closer to their death.

May 29, 2011
rickyross:

Khara, I think he was referring to the crass generalizations you were making about undergrad being easy, Asians being insecure, and "careless Cali white boys" (which by the way is new to me). Not to mention your apparent indifference to family and friends.

yup I can see that... but dude, seriously, undergrad was a joke. Academia was never meant to be tough... Like classes, books, exams.. all routine. I never really felt challenged at anything in undergrad, not even at trading. its all just the same shit over and over again, the only difference is the bonus size.

And Asians are definitely insecure about themselves, especially the ones that wish they were white/Americanized to fit in more.

I might be wrong about the Cali White Boys... but they definitely do exist.. those extra chill, smoke weed, fuck life kinda guys.

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Jun 23, 2011

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May 27, 2011

That's awesome, way to give back.

And if you do stay in NY, make sure you switch it up man. Don't just keep doing the same thing because it's working. If you're unhappy at least try and meet some people.

May 27, 2011

Btw Nyctola, I sent you a PM.

May 28, 2011

Dude,

The best advice I ever got (too late in life though) was to go to college in the city you think you want to live in. Why? Because of logicstics. You want to work in LA? Where are you going to live? How are you going to move? Do you need a roomate? How are you going to meet him? How are you going to get to work everyday? Where are you going to buy groceries? Cable?

It's better to know the area you are going to be spending a lot of time in already, rather then just going there. Imagine you go to school at UCLA and when you are job hunting there you can meet people in person to network. (And no flying for an interview!)

Someone above said it the best.. you only get to do this once... and they are right. If I could redo undergrad somewhere better... I would. I'm saying that because I don't want you or any college kid to be where I am -- living with A LOT of regret. It will kill you on the inside.

I'm an extremely poor person from an extremely poor family. I've never seen Cali or NYC. I'd love to live and work in both of them! So I can't relate or tell you which is better, but only to tell you that you need to do WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY.

You really have the best of both worlds, you get to live in the best city in the world AND one of the best states in the country (in terms of weather, culture, opportunites etc.). You have SO MUCH to be happy about, dude! If I had parents who'd pay for me to go anywhere, I'd go where I was happy! Plus, we all know that the school you attend matters less then the networking you do when it comes to getting the job.

May 29, 2011

Kid.

You go to NYU. You get to live in the capital of the world, the playground of the rich/famous and the poor man alike, where the world is at your fingertips 24 hours a day year-round. And you're unhappy? I get the separation anxiety from your family. I get the crippling nerves (medical/psychological condition you basically can do nothing about but blame the genetics pool). I get the indecisiveness given the amount of options you have. I get the worry about putting a financial burden on your parents. I get the worry about a deadbeat brother who's causing your family heartache who you'd like to see straighten up his act. I get all that, because a ton of that is really similar to my situation.

What I don't get is the self-imposed mental trauma and anguish you put yourself through. You sound to me like a relatively weak person. Life is full of hard choices, and sometimes you have to fucking stick your chin out and run with it and allow yourself to be happy with that choice. Half the time, even if it wasn't the best choice, the relief is so overpowering that you're happy enough with whatever you chose to make it work.

I agree with the guy talking about your relationship holding you back. You sound like one of the kids who needs a lot of intimacy in his life and is mature enough to be straightforward enough to admit it. You have a close relationship with your parent(s), at least enough to care about how your actions affect that, you have a long-term relationship with a girlfriend, and your siblings are still important to you. That's good, no problems there. The only thing is, when you don't push yourself to expand your social circle, a lot of your life is gonna be pretty stagnant. You don't meet new people and do new things, you won't get new experiences and you'll stop learning.

You sound like a pretty smart kid too. If you're doing well enough academically to be accepted at Penn, a strong candidate at Columbia, and to have positive feedback over the phone from reps at UCLA and Haas, not to mention maintaining a relationship with GS HCM, you're no pushover. So frankly, I don't understand why you don't apply that intelligence to the rest of your life. Book-smart but not street-smart maybe. Whatever. Point is, you need to realize that life won't be easy, and you're only making it worse for yourself by getting bogged down in "Oh, I'm so unhappy because of X and Y and since Z will always be the case, I can't enjoy anything." Bullshit. I did that my freshman year, and guess what, it got me nowhere. When I laid on my ass in bed sick for a month after that second semester and realized that I was imposing it all on myself and simply admitted that I was the problem, not my circumstances, I went out and seized life by the balls and ended up turning things around completely: academically, socially, career-wise (BB offers as a sophomore in accel recruiting), and emotionally/mentally.

Long story short. You want to work in California. Okay. East Coast schools give you the optionality of placement into NYC or West Coast, but as you'll discover if you'd gone through recruiting already, it's really rare to see West Coast kids have the flexibility of coming over here. I didn't see a single kid at any superday who wasn't from an East Coast target. Later I did meet a girl from USC who made it to GS, but 1 out of 100s of people I met doesn't set too positive a trend. If you want to work on the West Coast, NYU will give you that option with the BBs. Living and studying there, if suddenly you have a change of heart (or realize you're setting yourself up better for later by starting here), you're sore outta luck.

This may not be what you want to hear, but in all sincerity, man the fuck up. If you need to transfer, decide so and make it happen. Don't do the gap year bullshit, get to a school that will make you happy and stay there. Four different colleges in four or five years of undergrad is not a good situation. Santa Monica -> NYU -> CC -> UCLA/UCB is messy. My personal advice would be to get through the (largely self-imposed) adversity you're experiencing here, stick it out, take the advantages in recruiting you'll have, see what offers you get (on both coasts), and go from there. If not, make a move quickly and stop sitting around stressing or moping. It isn't healthy. And for the record, Columbia would be worse by far.

May 30, 2011

Really appreciate all your posts

May 30, 2011
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May 30, 2011
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Still not sure if I want to spend the next 30+ years grinding away in corporate finance and the WSO dream chase or look to have enough passive income to live simply and work minimally.

Jun 5, 2011