Jealous because my girlfriend earns 4x more than me working in a BB despite never wanting to get into IB.

She never liked Finance but through a family connection got into CS. While is slogged my ass networking and landed a pussy ass CF role at KPMG where I’m being underpaid as shit. She doesn’t really like her job and whenever she rants about it I suggest she leave because this wasn’t something she wanted to do in first place.

 

pls fix

She never liked Finance but through a family connection got into CS. While is slogged my ass networking and landed a pussy ass CF role at KPMG where I'm being underpaid as shit. She doesn't really like her job and whenever she rants about it I suggest she leave because this wasn't something she wanted to do in first place.

Brother, please work on your self esteem.

SafariJoe, wins again!
 

pls fix

Tell me what your self esteem feels like when your girl earns 4x what you earn. On a more serious note though this makes me motivated to do much better, life ain't always fair haha

The difference with me is that I would be glad I am dating a winner. Secondly, there is no way she is going to out earn me. Motivation for me to think and work smarter. Some, men are go getters, some are just not.

SafariJoe, wins again!
 
Most Helpful

Why would that bother you? I’m always a bit surprised at these gender stereotypes (guess I shouldn’t be considering how often I see it). What makes you think men should earn more than women? 

I’m guessing this is a troll, but I would want my wife to be successful, motivated, intelligent, etc (and she is). The money part doesn’t matter as long as we share similar values (hard work, motivation, etc), but many times when you have these traits and work in finance, tech, law, etc you end up making a lot. Works out even better for us since we have more money for our family. 
 

I realize many people in finance use money as a scoreboard, and in a way it is understandable; you need some way to benchmark and justify all this time and work. But it won’t lead to happiness, you’ll always find another person that makes more than you, fine if that motivates you, but strange if you are insecure about it. And weird if you don’t want to be with someone who shares that mindset. Additionally, it stops being rewarding, you end up competing for competition sake, it is draining.

There have been years when my wife out earns me, big deal, I’m happy with my comp and our life and I’m financially independent. Never bothered me. 

 

I would almost feel bad if this wasn't so pathetic. 

 

hahaha funny post. But on a more serious note, you need to find a way to become happy with your gf’s success and only make suggestions you think are genuinely in her best interest. If you don’t she wont end up leaving CS but will leave yo ass instead. Women are people that should be nurtured not conquered (heard that one from kanye) - who cares if she earns more or got lucky - you are partners. In a way her success is like your success because you are a team that will go on to live life together and raise a family together. 

 

Analyst 1 in IB - Genhahaha funny post. But on a more serious note, you need to find a way to become happy with your gf's success and only make suggestions you think are genuinely in her best interest. If you don't she wont end up leaving CS but will leave yo ass instead. Women are people that should be nurtured not conquered (heard that one from kanye) - who cares if she earns more or got lucky - you are partners. In a way her success is like your success because you are a team that will go on to live life together and raise a family together. Thanks, You are dead right. Money is the number one reason couples argue.

SafariJoe, wins again!
 

Given IB 1st yr comp is around 150-160k these days, you're only making 40k? Definitely sucks

Don't know what to tell you -- either find a way to not care about it or break up with her. Fwiw, personally I don't think I could live with my SO making multiples of what I do either. Call it societal conditioning or biological (as men have since inception been the primary 'breadwinners'), I don't know but my self esteem is partially dependent on the feeling of providing. That's fine, it's a personal preference. Some guys I know would be happy for their SO / wives to make way more than them. You do you, figure out what you can & can't live with and go from there

 

Fwiw, personally I don't think I could live with my SO making multiples of what I do either. Call it societal conditioning or biological (as men have since inception been the primary 'breadwinners'), I don't know but my self esteem is partially dependent on the feeling of providing. That's fine, it's a personal preference.

 To an extent this comment is true, however you need to understand that OP and his gf are what 22? There is plenty of time for OP to increase his income level and there's a decent chance that his gf will lateral to a more cushy role like Corp Strat/Corp Dev down the road which would flip the income differential. It's not like OP is a teacher and his GF is a doctor where the income differential will be permanently locked in.

You can't use temporary situations to define a relationship if you expect it to last long-term. If another recession rolls around and you are laid off would you divorce your wife because at that point in time she's making more than you? That's the advice you're giving OP. 

Array
 

Start hitting the gym more and getting fit. As her health declines, you’ll look comparably better and it will balance out your self esteems.

 
pls fix

She never liked Finance but through a family connection got into CS. While is slogged my ass networking and landed a pussy ass CF role at KPMG where I'm being underpaid as shit. She doesn't really like her job and whenever she rants about it I suggest she leave because this wasn't something she wanted to do in first place.

If you were a good bf you would see her success as your success. This post is cringe as fuck and reeks of insecurity which will drive a relationship into the dirt as almost as surely as cheating. 

"The obedient always think of themselves as virtuous rather than cowardly" - Robert A. Wilson | "If you don't have any enemies in life you have never stood up for anything" - Winston Churchill | "It's a testament to the sheer belligerence of the profession that people would rather argue about the 'risk-adjusted returns' of using inferior tooth cleaning methods." - kellycriterion
 

True, but she doesn't share any of the money with him, so he deals with the downsides of a hard-working career woman with none of the pros.

 
Drumpfy

True, but she doesn't share any of the money with him, so he deals with the downsides of a hard-working career woman with none of the pros.

lmfao wait Private Libtard is acting like just because a guy is dating a career woman he's entitled to benefit from her higher income in some way? OP didn't even say anything about her "not sharing" the money so you're literally pulling this crap out of thin air. What the actual fuck goes on in your head dude...

"The obedient always think of themselves as virtuous rather than cowardly" - Robert A. Wilson | "If you don't have any enemies in life you have never stood up for anything" - Winston Churchill | "It's a testament to the sheer belligerence of the profession that people would rather argue about the 'risk-adjusted returns' of using inferior tooth cleaning methods." - kellycriterion
 

"Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." ~ Genesis 2:24

No matter your level of religiosity, there's an important principle here that applies to relationships and that is when you date and eventually marry someone you grow together. Does that you mean you lose your individuality? Of course, not. But what it means which is relevant in your situation is that you get through tough times together and celebrate successes together. Trying to be competitive with your spouse in anything is a recipe for disaster. It's already expected that you have strengths and weaknesses and your spouse will have strengths and weaknesses as well.

Your career situation isn't your GF's fault, it's yours. There's a hot lateral market right now - what are you still doing making $45k in a job you hate? Get on the phone and start aggressively networking. Apply for jobs. Quit being jealous of your GF and take some personal responsibility for your own failures. 

Array
 

Dude don't turn a W into an L what the fuck. You have a solid job and successful girlfriend. You're doing everything in your power to seem like she needs someone better than you. It's arguably an attractive quality that she makes her own money. If she's really not in love with IB then she should do some introspection, but it's a really lame move to encourage her to quit one of the best career starting points just because you're insecure. You have the choice now between power couple and single back-office bro. 

 

In what argument would someone throwing their salary in your face bother you? I understand if you want to buy an expensive item and they don’t want to help cover it, but outside of that just seems like a crazy thing to say and even crazier to get upset about it. 

As long as you are secure and comfortable with your career and salary then you shouldn’t care if someone throws their salary in your face. 

 

I mean, if she is letting you pipe it down then you are doing good bro what’s the issue? 
 

 

Before letting my now-wife propose to me, I tested her loyalty by telling her I only make $75K. What I conveniently left out is that $75 was my take home after taxes, 401k, medical, etc. Then there was my potential bonus of 2x my gross. 

She was surprised, but her response was "good think I make six figures so we can still afford to take nice trips". I knew right there and then she was a keeper. 

 

Angus Macgyver

It is my dream to be a house husband. I enjoy cooking, working out, playing with kids, and I can be pretty OCD about cleaning. What's not to like?

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

SafariJoe, wins again!
 

I think this is a healthy emotion or feeling to experience as a man, hear me out. It also shows how money creates problems for people, and specifically in the context of relationships between a man and a woman. Money is not the end all, be all of life. Don’t forget everyone, money is a means to an end in our lives. You have material wants/needs? Go ahead, treat yourself! No problem with wanting nice things. But for a man, this is a matter concerning the ego in my opinion because being a bread-winner is a symbol of masculinity, and one aspect of many that composes manhood.

Think in historical contexts of the hunter-gatherer dynamic, which was thousands of years before we have sophisticated jobs in high-rise buildings. What’s the similarity, you might ask? The man would go out and hunt/gather animals to feed the family, while the woman would protect the family when the man is gone and provide food, shelter, warmth and all sorts of things for children. Nowadays, it’s the same thing in a different, more sophisticated form. Men working nowadays is the same dynamic, where men secure the livelihoods of their family. Although, women are now also breadwinners, gender dynamics are changing, and the world is changing at an unprecedented pace. Theoretically, nowadays we live more by nurture than nature, whereas ancient civilizations and before that used to live more by nature and you’d see the hunter-gatherer dynamic in full display.

OP, if she genuinely hates her job and you’re not trying to convince her for alternative reasons (ego), you are doing the right thing. But make sure she really hates it before doing that. In my opinion, I’d probably motivate her to put up with the bullshit and keep moving forward. She’s on a successful path. But there’s a strong chance she could leave you in the future. Depends on how strong your relationship is, and why do I say this? Because women historically have not put up with this.

If you want to be a breadwinner, I can’t say you’re not a hard worker because I’m unsure, but pursue something that will payoff and narrow that gap and you’ll make more money than her. Seems like you don’t like your job. Understand why you feel that way, and how to improve your life and make yourself better. Don’t pursue something if you have to dedicate a lot of time, but the reward isn’t there.

 

Like somebody else mentione, your age is probably a factor in why you're feeling the way you do. You might still be in that high school/college competition mode, where your self-worth is based on quantifiable performance standards, in this case, financial compensation. Your feelings are also understandable from the point of view of your hard work finally paying off versus someone who just stepped into a position you coveted. Final assessment: you're human, specifically a youngish human.

In a few years your view on life will change with more experience (hopefully) and you won't pay attention to who got what and how. 

P.s. Just wondering why are you two talking about money if you're sharing/splitting expenses? 

 

Similique voluptas et ut sed dolorum fugiat. In nesciunt veniam sed sit non. Unde nihil sed atque.

Quo fugiat quia expedita ut facilis laboriosam odit. Accusantium voluptatibus tempora quaerat est vel voluptate accusantium ab.

Est necessitatibus voluptatem at enim aut. Odio quaerat impedit enim quam earum. Eius eos et reprehenderit. Commodi qui quia beatae ut. Consectetur veniam ipsum cumque quaerat deleniti porro magnam.

 

Eum dolores ut ab nihil et quas quae sit. Et porro eius vel voluptatem vitae exercitationem earum nobis. Nobis enim temporibus et laboriosam sapiente sunt et. Quis occaecati laudantium neque autem est. Aut sed temporibus et facilis quia dolorem sunt. Optio sunt est quia et tempore distinctio reiciendis.

Dignissimos quasi dolorem voluptas. In consequatur id laudantium eveniet laudantium. Eum ad iusto laborum adipisci ad. Sed reprehenderit vel culpa sapiente.

Esse ab ullam et sit. Beatae hic laudantium enim qui necessitatibus sit ipsam. Quia voluptas dolorum autem vel porro iusto nobis.

In delectus id repellendus sint. Omnis maiores qui voluptatem aliquam similique saepe.

Career Advancement Opportunities

March 2024 Investment Banking

  • Jefferies & Company 02 99.4%
  • Goldman Sachs 19 98.8%
  • Harris Williams & Co. (++) 98.3%
  • Lazard Freres 02 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 03 97.1%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

March 2024 Investment Banking

  • Harris Williams & Co. 18 99.4%
  • JPMorgan Chase 10 98.8%
  • Lazard Freres 05 98.3%
  • Morgan Stanley 07 97.7%
  • William Blair 03 97.1%

Professional Growth Opportunities

March 2024 Investment Banking

  • Lazard Freres 01 99.4%
  • Jefferies & Company 02 98.8%
  • Goldman Sachs 17 98.3%
  • Moelis & Company 07 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 05 97.1%

Total Avg Compensation

March 2024 Investment Banking

  • Director/MD (5) $648
  • Vice President (19) $385
  • Associates (86) $261
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (13) $181
  • Intern/Summer Associate (33) $170
  • 2nd Year Analyst (66) $168
  • 1st Year Analyst (202) $159
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (144) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

1
redever's picture
redever
99.2
2
Secyh62's picture
Secyh62
99.0
3
Betsy Massar's picture
Betsy Massar
99.0
4
BankonBanking's picture
BankonBanking
99.0
5
dosk17's picture
dosk17
98.9
6
DrApeman's picture
DrApeman
98.9
7
kanon's picture
kanon
98.9
8
CompBanker's picture
CompBanker
98.9
9
GameTheory's picture
GameTheory
98.9
10
Jamoldo's picture
Jamoldo
98.8
success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”