Looking for a real estate analyst for opportunity in Philadelphia, PA

Hi All - I just joined the site to post a "real estate acquisitions and investor relations analyst" job opportunity at our firm in Philadelphia. Posted to the job board. - Greg

 

Salutation Greg,

It is a pleasure to connect with you! As a thought leader, serial entrepreneur, and CEO of my own small business - I have made multitudes of invaluable connections along my path that have allowed me to disrupt multiple disparate yet highly synergistic industries. I specialize in a high-impact, socially responsible business solutions network that allows me to leverage and enrich untapped potential in the resources of my clients. My style is an epiphet of a "catalyst style" consultancy that scales client capacity and speed-to-market by facilitating new, complex, or mission critical initiatives. I also provide turnkey management of special projects. When requested, I can deliver my proprietary Heroic Branding strategies to establish or enhance purpose-driven organizations.

I believe that a relationship between us could be mutually-beneficial and pay dividends for both of us in the future. Please add me on LinkedIn.

Yours Truly,

Chris DeLonzo

 

How exactly would I add you on LinkedIn? I typed in Chris DeLonzo and no results turned up.

I would like access to invaluable promotional material about public cultivation. In return, I can offer payment of your fee in shares of a new company I am starting. The goal of this company is to gather extremely complex but relatively common elements (including Nitrogen, Argon, and Oxygen) for the creation of a unique and world-changing product. Once this product is heated, literally nothing can challenge the magnificence and value delivered. Please let me know and I would be happy to tell you more.

Yours sincerely and respectfully, Mike Rotch

 

Dear Sir or Madame:

I am an ambitious undergraduate at NYU triple majoring in Mathematics, Economics, and Computer Science. I am a punctual, personable, and shrewd individual, yet I have a quality which I pride myself on more than any of these.

I am unequivocally the most unflaggingly hard worker I know, and I love self-improvement. I have always felt that my time should be spent wisely, so I continuously challenge myself; I left Villanova because the work was too easy. Once I realized I could achieve a perfect GPA while holding a part-time job at NYU, I decided to redouble my effort by placing out of two classes, taking two honors classes, and holding two part-time jobs. That semester I achieved a 3.93, and in the same time I managed to bench double my bodyweight and do 35 pull-ups.

I say these things only because solid evidence is more convincing than unverifiable statements, and I want to demonstrate that I am a hard worker. Your firm with a reputation that precedes itself and employees who represent only the best and rightest in finance. I know that the employees in this firm will push me to excellence, especially within the Investment Banking division. In fact, one of the supporting reasons I chose Investment Banking over any other division was that I know it is difficult. I hope to augment my character by diligently working for the professionals at your firm, and I feel I have much to offer in return.

I am proficient in several programming languages, and I can pick up a new one very quickly. For instance, I learned a years worth of Java from NYU in 27 days on my own; this is how I placed out of two including: Money and Banking, Analysis, Game Theory, Probability and Statistics. Even further, I am taking Machine Learning and Probabilistic Graphical Modeling currently, two programming courses offered by Stanford, so that I may truly offer the most if I am accepted. I am proficient with Bloomberg terminals, excellent with excel, and can perform basic office functions with terrifying efficiency. I have plenty of experience in the professional world through my internship at Merrill Lynch, and my research assistant position at NYU. In fact, my most recent employer has found me so useful that he promoted me to a Research Assistant and an official CTED intern. This role is usually reserved for Masters students, but my employer gave the title to me so that he could give me more work.

Please realize that I am not a braggart or conceited, I just want to outline my usefulness. Egos can be a huge liability, and I try not to have one.

Thank you so much for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you.

Best,

Ron

 

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