Marriage?

Are you investment bankers better off marrying a girl who's also working the same job in investment banking? I feel like they would understand the obscene workload and long hours. And the combined income could also reach up to a million for the family in the long run.

Or would you prefer a regular girl with a regular job. I ask this because wouldn't marrying a regular girl lead to divorce since you barely see her and can't spend time together?

Comments (58)

Dec 7, 2018

Bump?

Dec 7, 2018
MoneyisHappiness:

Are you investment bankers better off marrying a girl who's also working the same job in investment banking? I feel like they would understand the obscene workload and long hours. And the combined income could also reach up to a million for the family in the long run.

Or would you prefer a regular girl with a regular job. I ask this because wouldn't marrying a regular girl lead to divorce since you barely see her and can't spend time together?

I don't think I'd ever date/marry an ibanker. I'd like someone with a different perspective and that I can learn something from. I'd prefer marrying a doctor because at she'd have interesting stories while also having a demanding career.

    • 2
Dec 7, 2018

But you'd barely ever see each other. Is that even a marriage?

Funniest
Dec 7, 2018

Probably the best marriage ever, lmao

    • 37
Dec 10, 2018

Lol but where do you meet these doctors?

80% of my friends are legit in the same/similar industry and even friends' friends. Dating apps didn't help. My hobbies (think musical instruments, travelling, sports etc) have not given me ANY opportunity to meet any other professions apart from law (yep that's the fucking drawback of living in a financial hub). It seems like it's almost impossible to break out of the finance/busniz/law/consulting circle ...

Dec 10, 2018

I hasten to clarify - most of the attractive doctors I've met that I'd have married (assuming they were equally willing, which is optimistic) were taken by guys who DON'T spend their lives working. I now spend my spare time alone in my condo, staring at the wall and wondering where life went.

I will say that many of these lady doctors I talk to said it was very hard for them to find someone as well - so they suffer from the same problems as we do.

    • 1
Dec 7, 2018

If your main concern about your S/O is how much time you spend together, you're not ready to get married

    • 3
Dec 10, 2018

Can you elaborate?

    • 1
Dec 7, 2018

Lol, I feel like some elementary school student is asking this marriage question.

    • 1
Dec 7, 2018

high schooler here haha

Dec 10, 2018

You're in high school and have posted almost 1,000 times on this site?

    • 5
Dec 11, 2018

Early SA recruiting creeps into all aspects of life.

    • 1
Dec 7, 2018

I've seen successful marriages where one spouse is/was an investment banker. All of them required the mother sacrificing career ambitions in some form. PF net income will not be as high as you'd wish

    • 3
Dec 7, 2018

I'm a student commuting between NYC and Stamford, plus I work full-time, so my hours are pretty similar to IB atm (just split between several places). My husband (we're gay) owns a salon, so he's also super busy.
I can assure you that 1) We see plenty of each other at home and the occasional off-day, 2) When you love each other you make the timing work if it gets too long, and 3) It's definitely nice to have time apart and separate careers, interests, etc.

Numbers are history, and businesses are historians.

    • 13
    • 15
Controversial
Dec 7, 2018

Any straight couples out there with insight?

    • 25
    • 23
Most Helpful
Dec 8, 2018

Does it make a difference??

    • 30
    • 7
Dec 10, 2018
MoneyisHappiness:

Any straight couples out there with insight?

I just can't...

    • 2
Dec 11, 2018

hahahaha ruthless.

I just found the way you wrote this comment hilarious and unexpected.

My brother is a gay married man and he gives great advice btw.

    • 2
    • 2
Dec 15, 2018

Straight couple here. I'm in IB and wife's a nurse. My advice would be to listen to @amaiolo4. He's completely right and my wife and I are in the same boat. Not sure why you'd think a gay couple's perspective would be any different than a straight couple's. Life is Life

    • 2
Dec 8, 2018

Something interesting I noticed on the floor - a VP and MD that I work with both met their spouses during the analyst years. In both cases, one of their partners ended up making a sacrifice (for the VP, his wife is now working in corp dev. for the MD, her husband is now working at a smaller PE shop with a more flexible work schedule as she is gunning for the partner promote). In both cases, they both have nannies for their kids, and can afford to do so. It's an interesting marriage structure and it might be different for analysts/associates earlier on their careers.

Dec 8, 2018

Sign the prenup even if you love them

    • 1
Dec 10, 2018

You don't need a legal marriage where you get the state involved in your relationship.

Work hard, work clean, & most of all do not give up.

Dec 10, 2018

These users who always ask these dumb marriage/children questions are probably all college sophomores who jerk off to Wolf of Wall St

    • 10
    • 1
Dec 10, 2018

Fuck outside perspective -- if u can do marry a banker. Will be on the same wave length across a plethora of topics..

What concert costs 45 cents? 50 Cent feat. Nickelback.

Dec 10, 2018

In my 20's I didn't give a fuck as long my girl was a model type. But most were just too dumb to proceed with past a few nights. So then I went for fellow IBs and a few lawyers, but almost all I dated were alphas - aggressive and seemed to compete with me on who made more comp and worked better deals. Plus the schedules were too unmanageable. Non-IBs hated my schedule and things would burn out fast. Found the right girl in my mid-30's. 8 years younger, hot, driven, runs her own start up.

    • 10
    • 3
Dec 10, 2018

Nice. Female entrepreneurs are an uncharted territory.

    • 4
Dec 10, 2018

Lol at OP putting girls who don't work in IB in the category of "regular girls who work in regular jobs".

    • 3
Dec 10, 2018

Find someone you get along with, and that you like, preferably with a job, unless you make enough to support her taking the day to look perfect for you.

Dec 10, 2018

I wouldn't want to marry someone in the same job as me, just because that would be boring. My ideal girl would be someone who works in someone creative, like advertising or something.

Array

Dec 11, 2018

My girl is in advertising, and anecdotally it results in a very complementary set of skills and personal characteristics. I rather like that when we are together, she's not regaling me with stories of the job I just left half an hour earlier. She has a visually creative ability that I admire and could never compete with. She has a levity about life that I have found more characteristic of "creatives", and it is a great pH balance with the hawkish pessimism that I think comes naturally to a lot of people in finance. I'm sure she'd say the same about me, just the other way around.

I am also very fortunate that she comes from a family where the primary breadwinner was himself an investment banker. She has always got my back on work and knows what she's bargaining for in the relationship because she has seen the life her father lived but also the opportunities it afforded her family.

And not that I would pick a relationship for this, but advertising is an industry where (through my gf) I have seen many women do very well in respected, six figure executive level positions without necessarily having to work brutal hours and put their job above all else. Not that I was ever looking for it, but it's nice to be DINKs in the big city.

I feel like a very lucky guy.

    • 2
    • 1
Dec 11, 2018

I am happy for you! My girl is a predental in school. Hope one day we can make it to the end.

    • 1
Dec 11, 2018

Well good for you man. Hope I can find someone like that

Array

Dec 10, 2018

IMO, nothing beats the nurse/teacher types. Find the right one who is willing to put up with a wild schedule and it can work nicely. Seen it work with some older friends and doesn't require quite as much career sacrifice since both of the above careers can be fairly flexible time-wise. Also they tend to have very complimentary priorities/goals to a banker if you're looking for someone who isn't exactly like you, which I would highly recommend.

Dec 11, 2018

Teachers/nurses are the biggest freaks and often the biggest psychos.

    • 8
    • 1
Dec 10, 2018

Well, I think you should marry someone because you love them. Career choice may have some impact on that. Ultimately, plenty of people are deployed for a year+, work for weeks at a time on a tanker, are driving a trunk cross country for the majority of the and so on. So long hours should be relatively simple to explain and should not be the sole reason for a marriage splitting up.

Dec 11, 2018

I don't think she needs to be a banker, but it helps if your partner understands the time commitment inherent in the job. My gf will be attending law school a few blocks away from my office when I start as an analyst so we'll both be pretty busy. The advice I got from more senior guys who are married was to do dinners once or twice a week together, even if it's in the office.

Dec 11, 2018

word that is good advice

Array

Dec 11, 2018

Guys, this is not a political forum. Let's not go there

Array

Dec 13, 2018

Met my wife during my MBA years. I was smitten by her from day 1. Incidentally she was an RA to my mentor. I was struck not only by her beauty but also by her incredible conversationalist skills. There wasn't a subject she didn't know something on, and always had an interesting story up her sleeve. I also loved her freelance schedule which let us see each other and travel places whenever my schedule would permit. As an RA at a top school she was privy to a lot of industry insight and contacts, so she is perfectly on par with my career and takes a strong interest in its development. She's downright incredible.

    • 4
Dec 15, 2018

Hope I can find someone like that soon

Array

Dec 16, 2018

Don't rush it. My marriage may be a dream scenario, but getting there was hell for both of us. Chased and choked her like a fucking madman because she was impossible to score. Be prepared for the same when you meet your eloquent beauty. You gotta work like hell to catch these types of chicks.

    • 2
Dec 16, 2018

RA being what exactly?

Dec 16, 2018

Research Associate. Idk about other schools but they're a highly vigorous part of HBS. They support one or multiple professors in writing cases, prepping lecture notes, interviewing relevant industry players, etc.

Dec 16, 2018
Comment

When i die, i hope to go to heaven, and i want to afford the price of admission.

    • 1
Dec 17, 2018
Comment

When i die, i hope to go to heaven, and i want to afford the price of admission.

    • 1