My Apologies In Advance

Let me preface this by saying that I had every intention of writing something meaningful about the fact that Google has applied to become a power marketer and how that will probably present a great opportunity to savvy energy traders. It's another sign of the coming global takeover by Google, and I'm frankly all for it.

However.

I stumbled across a website this morning that is too awesome not to share. I've been sitting here for the past hour on the verge of pissing myself from laughing. The website is Texts From Last Night and the premise of the site is to aggregate and archive all the drunken, ridiculous, embarrassing things that people text to one another.

Let me warn you in advance: while there is no nudity (at least I haven't come across any yet) the site is definitely NOT SAFE FOR WORK. If you are easily offended, take a pass. If you're like me, however, I probably just killed the rest of your day. You're welcome.

Here are a couple of my favorites so far:


(717): you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober

(865): Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.

(818): She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.

(205): She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.

(303): You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad

(443): I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.

(416): He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.

(305): I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls

(619): Dude, my check liver light just came on

And many others completely unfit to print. You gotta love the Internet.

 

Today, my daughter learned that if she rips a toy out of its package in front of a store employee, mommy will be forced to buy it. She now has two new toys today. FML

 

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