Most Helpful

My favorite comment from incompetent associate and VP / staffer "Are you done yet" when they know exactly what you're working on and randomly changed an internal deadline of their own. Then you say "No, I am done with the first pass, but I have to tie the numbers and check" and then they tell you they'll check and throw you under the bus in front of the MD.

 

MD to Company: "There is robust demand for this bond offering, we should consider upsizing." Me to MD: "Do you think upsizing this bond offering on the fly will impact credit rating? Maybe we should ask our ratings agency guy what he thinks." MD to Me: STFU

We upsize bond offering.

S&P Credit Analyst: "Credit outlook negative."

 

MD of muted conference call with another MD at different bank: "This guy is a f***ing idiot"

plays candy crush on phone while other MD is talking

Other MD: [end with] "What do you think about that idea?"

MD: "ugh shit" unmutes "Yeah, sounds good why don't you have your team take first stab and send us what you got" mutes [to team] "What the f*** was he talking about? I was not paying attention at all"

Other MD: "alright, sound good we'll get that to you first thing tomorrow"

Poor analysts...

 

I don't understand. How do you fuck up inputting values in excel? Like he didn't know how to use it at all?

Don't beat yourself up on this, Eric. Some people like taking the long way home. Who the fuck knows?
 

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