I'm a long-time lurker on WSO, now seeking counsel from those more experienced. I'm coming here because I honestly have no one else to talk to...
I do not want to waste too much of your time so I'll try to keep this short and concise. However, I come to you now with my heart on my sleeve, in a time of need. Thus, I'm not sure how short I can make it without getting my message across.
I'm someone who has spent most of their life (from the beginning of high school - now), immersed in the world of finance. Investing is my passion. I love it, live it and breathe it everyday.
I spend my days either studying (during the university curriculum) or doing something related to finance/investment (outside of the university curriculum). I strive for excellence everyday, putting in hours that most would consider obsessive and/or unhealthy.
I wake up everyday with hopes and dreams that I refuse to let go of.
However, since starting university, my grades have been poor. Very poor.
(For reference, I'm a financial mathematics and statistics major).
Despite the hours and effort I put in, my grades are severely lacking.
I have a passion for what I'm studying and would be researching, studying and applying it in my own time, were I not undertaking formal education. However, despite regular sleepless nights of studying, my grades show little reflection of my efforts.
I'll be honest - I'm writing this because I'm afraid. I'm so scared. I put in so much effort, time and passion into what I do. However, when I get my grades, I feel nothing but a deep sense of despair in the pit of my stomach and in the back of my mind. It seems like everything around me is subliminally indicating that I will fail. That I will end up being a failure....
I feel like I am insane... I keep asking myself, am I being delusional? Despite my circumstances, I continue sleeping late and waking up early. I continue putting in all of my efforts and feeling sure that I will achieve my goals, regardless of my mediocre grades.
I've come to the realization that life is not fair. I've come to the realization that you will not (at least in the short-term) get what you deserve. But despite all of this, I still wake up everyday with the hope that I will reach my goals and achieve what I want through continued hard work.
Now that I've finished writing this, it's obvious that It isn't short, nor is it concise..But I need your advice. I'm honestly not sure what I'm even asking or if there is a question to be asked. Am I a fool? Am I being naive? Can someone in my situation thrive in an industry full of people with outstanding credentials?