my impossible possibilities

Goal: Bulge Bracket I-banker(if there is a god in heaven)

Background:
Ivy league graduate with horrible gpa and academic record
Major: applied mathematics
Resume - mainly technical work in small groups with some leadership positions.
I was rabid in extracurricular activities from hip hop group to break dancing to entrepreneurship program etc...

Option 1:
PRESS my social network now to get a position at a boutique firm outside of recruiting. will probably need a serious favor given my academic record, and a lot of my friends are probably still just analysts -- although my extended network may have a few associates. of course this will mean that I will never get my mba. NEVER, because of my gpa.

Option 2:
GO get a masters in applied math at my alma mater. I did some undergraduate research and could maybe get in the back door with good recommendations. And, assumin i get a slammin gpa on the masters level...____Option 2a:
APPLY for a structurer role. will I be competitive for the structuring job, or will my undergrad gpa still play a strong role? Also, is this really the province of international students and science nerds[excuse the generalizations, I use them for the sake of brevity] or do structurers mix well with those in sales & trading from a more traditional path[frat boys and young overachievers]____Option 2b:
INTERVIEW for the traditional college recruiting track as a masters student. First of all, is this possible? If so, is this wise over the structuring role(option 2a)? I am not sure how it looks to apply to multiple positions(different paygrades) at the same firm.

Normally, these long posts only get partially answered. I structured the post to make it easier to respond to the part that interests you. Any comments are appreciated.

Getting a dope i-banking job at a bulge bracket firm is worth millions, option 3... priceless.