My Journey to an offer
Hi guys,
Long time lurker and I thought I might have to contribute so here we go.
Growing up in a city outside of London, I always was intrigued by the financial sector and I knew that one day I would work in one of the world's top financial sectors. It is unfortunate that my grades were pretty much average when I applied to university but I thought that it was still a possibility that I could sneak in if I knew my stuff.
Like many other kids growing up isolated, my understanding of finance was limited to S&T. I thus went to university (A questionable semi-target) with the intention of becoming a trader. I saw that all of my spring week applications all led to quick rejections and the interviews I did get, Big4 audit and a small prop trading firm (who only took graduates, God knows how I made it through HR) seemed really underwhelming. I promised myself that next year would be different and I would be sitting with some sort of offer in my hand.
Second year came along, I hit probably 45 applications from September to November and managed to get a telephone interview at a very well-known IB (S&T) and then a slew of final rounds from a British BB (S&T), a few corporates (Oil S&T and Finance/Risk), Automotive Manufacturers (Finance) and a Economic Research Firm. All in all 7 final rounds BUT no offer! I started to doubt myself, surely I'm not the only one with this sort of luck. I started thinking that I was a special sort of applicant. An applicant that is within the top 5% of all applicants but not within the top 50/60% of the successful. The guy that misses out on everything or gets too excited at a final round that really puts me off my game. I looked back and thought, I seem to miss the boat when it really counts, I shake at interviews if I pause for more than 5 seconds, I don't even have the conviction to execute simple tasks in group exercises. HOW WILL I BE A TRADER? It seemed pretty obvious to me as I seemed to smash every piece of coursework yet flop the exam when the pressure counts. I don't want to be one of those guys that can only think about his position in the night and rip his hair out when thinks go stale the next morning. The promise that I made to myself was already broken but atleast I had a better sense of direction on what to look out for.
In my languid summer, I explored different types of finance and dropped my standards heavily. I applied to roles that I saw on jobsite pages with the only hope that it could lead me to something else. I struck on a part-time role in a non-name PE Boutique and I applied instantly. Telephone interview, super-chill, random questions about Valuation/ Background, all very simplistic stuff. I got excited, I knew that this was my ticket to the big league (sort of) and knew I had to take it. PE internship for an undergrad, I don't go to Oxbridge, this didn't seem real. I got to the final round and I see this pretty toned guy sweet-talking the head of operations about how this was almost everything he wanted to do. I think, if this kid is telling the truth, why on earth am I here? I only want a stepping stone. F it, I want this because I need it. I graduate next year with almost zero to show for it. The interview commences and the more the manager speaks about the role, the more I understand how "not-for-me" this is, my answers to his questions were so plain and monotone. I felt as if this was by-far my worst interview, atleast with the others, I had a genuine interest. Now imagine my surprise when I got my first offer off the back of such a bland performance (maybe my eagerness in the other interviews was the problem or my perceived professionalism gave me the edge here). First day in I found myself working on some research and backward engineering some of their previous work. It all seemed quite interesting again but I knew that while I looked at my managers who were 40-odd divorced (some-twice) that this is again not my future. I instantly started looking for exit options.
I felt my self-esteem was revitalized after the offer and I started reapplying to AM Graduate roles. I thought my chances would be higher because cough PE cough but boy how was I wrong. I saw my applications from the top 10 pretty much dead because most of the interns last summer scored an offer. I tried 3 of the Big4 as they have investment advisory/valuation etc schemes and of the three, two I again got to the final rounds (partner interview). Surely I can't mess this up, big boy now, PE internship, surely I only have to utter the two letters in unison and they would want me. For a minute I forgot my hit rate was 1/8 but in the interviews, i managed to forget half the stuff I had "memorised" and now my hit rate was 1/10. Oh that sinking feeling, the feeling that you let yourself down and this time at the Big4. A place where they don't care if you studied at Oxbridge or a Uni down the road.
F it, Boutiques opened their doors for me in the first place, a Boutique will take me now. I applied for summers at a few very well-known boutiques in London and got to the bane of my life, another final round assessment centre. Hit-rate of 10%, don't worry I got this. I probably prepared 30 hours for that AC and I managed to kill one of my interviews with the division manager and I finally got that summer offer I wanted. The feeling of joy was superseded by the feeling of relief rather than anything else. Finally I could stop checking jobsites every-day, finally I can stop thinking I'm inept. Ah finally peace. I open my eyes the next morning, an application to an off-cycle internship at an American BB that I sent off months ago, wants to interview. Calm Down, Calm Down! The summer offer was nice but this would be an icing on the cake. Sure I can do this, hit rate of 18%, I can show them, maybe even leverage my offer in their faces. Roll-up, see about 20 people in the room from all over the UK for the same role. My last of the three interviews commences and I start talking about my previous roles and how MiFID was going to impact AM in the future. He asks me about blockchain and oh dear how I have managed to botch this. I feel the hairs on the back of my hair start to stand on edge, perhaps I should have prepared earlier, oh wait, why have I paused? I'm talking gibberish now, ffs another Assessment centre flop. I might as well leave now, didn't even hang around to network with HR or chat to the other candidates. I walk out thinking what have I done but somehow I start smiling. There was no sinking feeling. Looks like my summer offer really couldn't bring me down in anyway.
I knew that wasn't going to be my last rejection or my last chance. Somehow that was soothing and it was weird to think that by far the biggest opportunity I had was blown and I was ok with it. The confidence that the summer offer gave me was so much more enlightening than the failure. People say that you learn so much more from your failures than your successes. I agree, my interview technique did improve from my 100+ applications over the past 3 years. But in my case, when you are beat down so much, one yes can lift you up so much higher. Additionally, from a financial viewpoint, £45k of debt feels a lot lighter after the offer rather than countless email rejections. It should be as important if not more important to experience success in anything you do than to experience failure.
Whoever is reading this, without an internship don't worry rejections will come and most definitely happen. It seems like a longshot to feel how it would when someone gives you an offer but honestly all you need is self-validation. Be it a yes in an email or on the telephone. I have poor self-esteem and hopefully I will rectify it one day but to keep trying is the most important part because nothing will change if you don't. In my second year I started a word document with 100 No's and one yes at the bottom. Each time someone rejected me, I deleted one No, I knew I was on the balance of probability closer to that Yes. In the end I deleted around 78 No's but I'm sure that this technique might help someone keep going in the same way it helped me.
P.S. I have no idea the source for that word document was from, if anyone knows, would you please write it below.
