My Official 2020 Presidential Endorsement

I am endorsing SENATOR BERNIE SANDERS for President in 2020. Donald Trump is 73 years old, way too old to be president. Sanders will bring his youth and charisma and help turn this country around.

College should be free. Healthcare should be free. Internet should be free. Condoms should be free (the fact that you exist proves this).

We need a modern day Glass Seagull. Seagulls are disgusting and poop everywhere, just like Deutsche Bank employees. One time, when I was at the beach, a seagull stole my submarine sandwich. You can't steal my sandwich if you're made of glass can you now you dumb seagull bitch!

I think for too long, we've allowed the private equity industries to rape middle America for profit and scrap companies for parts. KKR? More like the KKK. When TOYS R US went bankrupt, Henry Kravis and Mitt Romney personally took turns sodomizing Toys R US mascot Geoffrey the Giraffe. #MeToo anyone?

We need single-payer healthcare. Who's going to pay for it? Joe!

For all of these reasons, and because Jeffrey Epstein did commit suicide, I am endorsing BERNIE SANDERS to become the 46th President of the United States

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Comments (23)

Dec 7, 2019 - 2:14pm

It took a couple seconds to figure out who posted this after seeing the title lmao

"Markets can stay irrational longer than you can stay solvent."

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Dec 7, 2019 - 4:43pm

to be fair, if you have -$37, and you need $5000 for healthcare, and if you make $20 per handjob underneath the Queensboro bridge, donating the money to Bernie Sanders and getting "FREE" healthcare is a good ROI

Dec 10, 2019 - 3:57pm
Lloyd BIankfein:

Cory Booker is a closeted homosexual who has never been inside of rosario dawson

"The FBI and our intelligence agencies are highly competent, professional, and non-partisan."

The same naïve bro: "Cory Booker is straight."

Dec 8, 2019 - 3:28pm

I endorse Senator Donald Trump. He's been a shining star in a sky filled with falling stars.

What concert costs 45 cents? 50 Cent feat. Nickelback.

  • 1
Dec 10, 2019 - 5:11pm

Healthcare should almost definitely be free. What America does to the poor who don't have insurance from a healthcare perspective is a disgrace tbh. College is debatable, but the cost structure certainly needs evaluation from the top-down.


  • 1
Dec 10, 2019 - 5:17pm

Who is going to pay for healthcare? My trust fund? No thanks.

What concert costs 45 cents? 50 Cent feat. Nickelback.

Dec 10, 2019 - 5:19pm

Who is going to pay for healthcare? My trust fund? No thanks.



Dec 13, 2019 - 4:08am

That awkward moment when your trust fund is the size of the average donation to the Bernie Sanders campaign.

GoldenCinderblock: "I keep spending all my money on exotic fish so my armor sucks. Is it possible to romance multiple females? I got with the blue chick so far but I am also interested in the electronic chick and the face mask chick."
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