My Virtual SA Frustrations
I'm writing this because I'm wondering if others had similar frustrations about their virtual summer internships. I also just wanted to get my thoughts down and I figured this would be a useful place to do so.
Here's a little background perspective on me. Military Veteran (Infantry), liberal arts student, MM firm.
Projecting Myself as a Professional Virtually is Weird
Technologically I've had my head in the sand since 8th grade. I remember when everyone got their first flip phones in 2006/7 and I just didn't care. I don't exist virtually at all. I have a few different forms of social media to check the boxes but that's it. I text with my girlfriend and have one group chat with my boys from home and one group chat with my teammates, otherwise, I just call people over the phone.
This has all transpired into my email and Microsoft teams correspondence lacking professionalism at times. It simply takes additional effort for me to ensure that all of my communication done by these means is professional and if I'm working too quickly or multitasking (huge mistake never do this) I will make simple mistakes like spelling or grammatical errors. Maybe I'm overthinking the significance of these errors. If someone could chime in that would be great.
My Years of Great Social Conditioning Matter a lot Less
I'm very well-spoken and have great body language. I've been in leadership positions in various organizations since I was kid and I had great parents that taught me the importance of communication and body language as they relate to personal confidence. I'm also a lifelong athlete so I'm pretty fit which adds to my confidence as well. The problem though is that I'm not really able to project any of this virtually. I take advantage of every opportunity to say something meaningful when I can, and I'm well-spoken over the phone but that's about it.
I Struggle to Portray my Intangible Strengths
Do you guys see what's going on in Portland right now on TV? Everyone is focused on the discomfort of the protestors, but have you ever stopped to think about how the police might be feeling right now (This is not meant to a pro-police statement, obviously excessive force is being used and it's terrible)? Let me tell you, standing around wearing all that gear, especially that gas mask, for hours on end sucks. And I've done it while wearing way more gear, for way longer, in way worse weather. So when it's 2 or 3 am and I'm still working I just don't feel anything. You know that late-night sigh that some of you may be letting out because your tired or uncomfortable because you've been sitting at your desk since literally 9 am? Yeah, that just doesn't happen to me ever and honestly I'm surprised about that because this is the least I've exercised in years. Except none of my grit or perseverance, two traits that I'm really proud to have garnered after dealing with some shit can really shine through in this virtual environment.
I'm very susceptibly to feedback and I'm very trainable. I wish I got more of it
One thing that really attracted me to investment banking was the on the job training style because that's how the Infantry does it and it really worked for me. It's incredibly engaging and hands-on and I love that. Getting actual training and feedback in this environment though has been very difficult. I get it, everyone's busy and writing emails and screen sharing actually takes time as opposed to a brief conversation or me just shadowing an analyst on a work product. But honestly come on, getting constructive feedback or even outright criticism has been like pulling teeth and I've been on NOTHING BUT live deals. The biggest point of feedback that I have gotten from everyone that I have personally asked is to improve my attention to detail. Obviously I'm taking that feedback seriously but isn't that just so generic though? I would welcome outright rude criticism at this point with welcome arms. It improved my skills and professionalism in the past and I'm positive it would continue to do so now.
So where is my head at now? I have pretty much no idea If I'm going to get an offer because I've had little opportunity to let my strengths shine through. That doubt is being exacerbated by the weight I place on the importance of ensuring my emails lack spelling errors. I feel like I'm taking crazy pills.
Feeling the exact same sentiment as you. I'm really not sure where I stand at all and it's making me go crazy. As I am not working in the industry and am just an intern I understand that I have no right to talk, but I feel like the whole auto offer thing that Citi and a few other companies decided to do was definitely a good choice when looking at the internship experience now. Obviously if you fuck up you won't get the offer but there's no sense of uncertainty when it comes to getting an offer which I feel makes the internship easier as it allows you to make some minor mistakes and not be worried about getting dinged. I feel as though a good chunk of summer analysts right now feel the same way. Some people are fortunate to be working on deals while others are doing no work because of no deal flow and have nothing really to base their performance off of. The latter group probably is anxious as hell as to whether or not they'll get an offer and will surely be surprised when they do or don't get one.
Personally, I've made a few mistakes here and there given the virtual format (some tech issues mixed with general stuff) and am constantly thinking if I'm coming off as a dumbass with no real way to prove myself and show perseverance. Also, I know that me and a lot of my other friends have's social skills such as talking on the phone have gone out the window due to lack of socialization with quarantine in the past 4 months. I'm definitely sure that if I were in the office I would be able to present myself in a better light and show that I want the offer.
I couldn't imagine how those who haven't been given many deliverables feel. That would be pretty terrible.
This has been a pretty great wakeup call for me though. This idea of virtual professionalism is here to stay and I might as well really nail this right now rather than continue to struggle with it later.
If you can come off as professional in a virtual investment banking setting than you can come off as a professional in any virtual setting and I imagine that will be a valuable skill later on down the road.
Very true with you last point. The only problem is if you're the type of person that thrives from getting constructive criticism and feedback and you end up not getting an offer because your virtual professionalism wasn't up to par, you're kind of fucked with respect to getting back into a BB or similar firm that you worked at to continue to improve these skills and grow.
Personally I feel like I'm doing fine and am acting in a similar manner as I did with previous internships but the uncertainty is just killing me right now about how I'm being perceieved.
I will make simple mistakes like spelling or grammatical errors. not much to add but re-read your emails its not that hard and takes less than 30 seconds. That doesnt have to do with being virtual that’s just you being sloppy.
With that being said a mistake once in a while is fine but if it’s noticeable that isn’t a good look.
Yeah thats fair and I do re read my emails normally but I've never had to send this volume of emails before nor send them at a conversational pace if that makes sense. I guess I just need to slow down.
Lol I definitely get where you're coming from and I think many full-time analysts would share your frustrations. When I was getting slammed a few weeks back I legit felt like an outsourced contractor in India. I think it sucks in many aspects but I really tried to keep my perspective:
Now that I've written all this shit I realized that it's not even really about your original post but just wanted to reflect on my experiences thus far, best of luck OP
Great commentary, thank you for sharing. I definitly get the importance of attention of detail. That's a pretty big military teaching point thats usually taught by making soldiers clean things until they can eat off of them.
I think the reason why I can't execute with solid attention to detail isn't becuase I'm careless but rather because I'm putting unneccsary pressure on myself. The tasks are so easy but somehow I jack something up.
I go through phases of thinking the return is nailed as i'm still getting staffed on stuff and getting deliverables but also having no clue where I stand as the feedback has been generic as hell. Getting pls fix isn't necessarily bad as some of it is stylistic/content rather than me making major mistakes here and there. I know in other teams other interns are not getting staffed- but that could be a group specific rather than a specific intern thing.
Similar to yourself I feel my main strengths have been nulled in this virtual environment. No rapport can really be built. I have no indicator whether I'm on track or need improvement.
I think the big surprise as to whether we get offers or not at the end will be fun to experience. I've been so damn bored these past few months because I've exhausted all of my entertainment options and I can't hang out with my friends. I'm exited to just feel something.
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