Need Advice - promotion instead of being fired

Hey guys,

Need a piece of advice.

About me: Foreigner, graduated at good school (non-target though) and working in M&A for a Oil & Gas company.

I felt so happy when I got the offer at my current company, but since day one I have felt like I was struggling to keep pace.

In the last three months, I had the impression that my performance was horrible, and each day I would go home feeling like a piece of shit.

During my formal review last week, I somehow got "ok" feedback from my seniors. They said that I had performed ok, but they also complained about my apparent lack of attitude. After the feedback, I thought I was going to be fired and I somehow made peace with that. Strangely, I felt relieved.

This monday, my boss called me to have a talk in his office,a and I got a promotion (wtf!). When I first heard the news, I got into fucking panic.

The issue is guys, that I feel that I am not able enough to do the job. I have been feeling incompetent in the last three months, and I am very afraid that I fail hard at this. I also dont want to be the laggard at the office, slowing everyone down.

I truly want to be successful, but I think I may actually be not good enough. Last night I could not sleep, since I kept thinking in the ways that I am going to fail hard at this new position.

There is a part of me who wants to keep going. There is also a big part of me who wants to quit and spare the pain.

I truly dont know what to do, and i feel lost. I dont have anyone with whom I could talk to at the company, since I dont trust anyone there.

Has anyone of you dealt with something like that?

thanks

 

Maybe your boss noticed your lack of attitude and thought a promotion could help?

Instead of quitting, I would take some time off, if possible, and then make a decision once you restart.

"I do not think that there is any other quality so essential to success of any kind as the quality of perseverance. It overcomes almost everything, even nature."
 
Best Response

You need to figure out a few things. First, do you simply have low self esteem/confidence and think that you're doing a poor job when you really are doing ok-maybe you're not the all star but at least "ok"? Although it may be possible, I don't know many bosses who promote someone who isn't cutting it at all and should be fired. Especially in o&g or m&a of any sort. That's not a touchy feely industry. Normally if you suck you're out the door. Have you only been at this job for three months? If that's the case you're a noob and are still in the steep learning curve part of this job and your career.

Then figure out specifically why you aren't cutting it, if that's real or just imagined, and fix it. Are you deficient in a specific skill or skills? Your modeling skills are weak, writing skills are crap or whatever. Fix it or them. Is there something like time management, learning to multi-task, communicating with your colleagues or something else? Identify the problem and figure out how to fix it.

After you've figured out your deficiencies on your own ask to sit with your boss and say that you'd like to improve your performance and be a leader in the office and ask him how. Don't say you don't feel like you can't cut it or you're not good enough (you'll sound like a pussy), just ask how you can improve. Ask for brutal honesty and don't be hurt when a criticism comes your way. Critique is good from superiors because it can help you improve and it's coming from someone who's sitting in the seat you'd like someday.

Then work on improving yourself. You're an adult now. You make your own way in this world and no one's going to hold your hand along the way-your family, teachers or professors aren't here telling you that you're the best and can do anything, it's all on you to perform. You "truly want to be successful" but you're afraid of failure and you missed one nights sleep because you're fixated on failing and you went into a panic when you got a promotion? You need to take a breath, find your testicles, strap them on and charge full on at your job. Change your attitude. If you need to spend an extra 20+ hours per week improving yourself, you spend 20 hours/week fixing what's broken. Tone is difficult to ascertain in the written word but the tone of your post just sounds meek and timid. Change it. Successful people don't sit around questioning and feeling sorry about themselves. They proactively and confidently tackle what's in their way to achieve success.

 

Hey man, I am a strong believer that feeling like a failure is only an indication that you are pushing yourself to the limit. You shouldn't be focused on what if you fail, but rather, what can you do to overcome this and push yourself to the next level, where you will have another fear of failure. That's how people level up. I somehow think you either haven't been challenged in your life or that you like your job too much so therefore, your fear is just bigger than usual. Keep pushing my man. If you get a promotion, that means you deserved it. Your goal is to get them to give you another fucking promotion.

http://startupbros.com/21-ways-overcome-impostor-syndrome/

You crave what you are not. Dude, your perspective on life sucks.
 

I also spent the first 3 months of my first job out of college thinking I was about to get fired. It's a lot more common than you might think.

When you're first starting, you're expected to make a ton of mistakes and slow everything down. It may very well take 6 months before you can pull your own weight.

A bad attitude is a much bigger problem but can easily fixed. Act enthusiastic and show interest and a desire to learn (fake it if you have to). Do your best and whatever happens happens. Stop beating yourself up. It's just not worth it.

 

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